


Unexpected

by DiaGK



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Modern Era, NSFW, Romance, Slow Burn, Smut, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2017-11-11
Packaged: 2018-07-11 05:21:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 75,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7030645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiaGK/pseuds/DiaGK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU fanfic featuring Solas/Dread Wolf.<br/>After the Trespasser events, Solas walks through the eluvian only to find himself thrown into the modern-time England. Year 2016. Yup. That’s it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Translations:  
> Halani. – Help me.  
> Merde, t’es lourd! – Shit, you’re heavy!  
> Te tas. – Water please (elvhen mine own)  
> Quoi? – What?  
> De l’eau s’il vous plait... – Could I have some water?  
> Je vous en prie... encore un... - Another one, please.  
> Qui êtes-vous? – Who are you?  
> J’habite ici. C’est ma maison….” – I live here. It’s my house.  
> Où sommes-nous exactement? – Where exactly are we?  
> En Angleterre. Au Nord du pays. C’est vraiment .. phff... juste quelque pas du frontier avec des Écosses... – In England. The North of the country. Just a few clicks from the Scottish border.  
> Angleterre... C’est où? – England. Where is it?

“Well, I’m glad I did not play as a Lavellan then. Dayum. The Dread Wolf himself...” I stretched my arms above my head after a long and enticing game-playing session. I have just finished the latest DLC for Dragon Age Inquisition and it left me speechless. Great writing and set of characters. As much as I understood the character set and their possible future I was glad to have it finished. I also had seen enough of spoilers about the Solas-Lavellan romance to know how her heart was broken. I think I deserve a snack or something, I thought. It wasn’t that late yet. Barely after 10 pm as my eyes met the clock. 

I left my PC on and checked my phone for any notifications. Well, Tumblr was full of it. Also Facebook and Twitter. The current fascination with Inquisition game provided so many details and possible theories about the future of the franchise. Some of them were interesting some a bit out of the blue. Fun, anyway.

My feet took me to the kitchen on the ground floor. The house inherited from my late aunt was an old-Victorian-turned-modern style mansion where I alone, yes, resided. North of England barely a few click from the Scotland border. I have found it odd at first only to let it grow on me after the initial shock. The nearest neighbours were situated about 20 minutes by car. In the case of real emergencies, we had flares. Yes. Flares. Like on life boats.

So, I was standing in front of my fridge. With a fully open door, I was glaring at its content quite glad to see that my house-keeper actually bought something I may like. For once. She tried to teach me to eat more veg and fruits. I disliked them in general. Ok. I was more of a lazy person. No, rather more absorbed in my own world to spend time on proper cooking. It cost me having a house-keeper and not eating regular meals. My mother would have been proud. Not.

Staring at a strawberry cake proudly claiming the second shelf in my fridge I almost missed an unusual sound coming from upstairs. Like a flushing water down the drains. A lot of water. I stilled. Was somebody in my bathroom? I could also hear a kind of humming...?

I closed the fridge door and moved to the stairs taking quiet steps. The strange humming continued. I followed the only sound in my house and realised it was coming out of one of the spare bedrooms. There was a soft blue light coming out from under the door. I braced myself before turning the doorknob and opening the door to peek inside. The sight left me speechless.

A figure bent in two was kneeling with his back to the ornate mirror. He was supporting himself on one hand and heaving as if trying to get his bearings. He turned his head to look around and I noticed that his ears were pointed. Also, his head was bald. I think I stopped breathing at this point. I felt like in a dream, so when he raised his head and our eyes met my brain stopped functioning. An elf.

“Halani,” he grunted and collapsed on the floor.

Well, what say you now? I chuckled to myself and closed my eyes to get rid of the silly images. I blamed the rosé drank during the gaming session. I chuckled again and deliberately opened my eyes hoping the vision would disappear. Nope. The elf was still on the ground. The mirror was still humming quietly.

Poking him with my foot seemed too disrespectful so I kneeled and touched his right shoulder. My hand was met with a soft wolf fur. Awww, so soft! I stroke it for a moment lost in the sensation. Then I looked towards his face and froze. He was real. Dayum. How is that even possible? Is it some kind of magic? But magic does not exist in our world, right? Well, apart from all the technological wonders.

I sighed and proceeded to examine him a bit closer. If he was here and I was to deal with him somehow I needed to make sure that I was not hallucinating. Also, I still blamed it on the rosé.

Since he was not responding to my prodding I grabbed his left arm and turn him around. He sprayed on his back. I could see his face in the soft light from the corridor as the mirror stopped providing any sort of light. That. Was. Solas. Dread Wolf. Fen’Harel. I had no doubts. But how? How’s that even possible that an imaginary character can appear in real life?

“Dayum,” I dragged staring at his familiar face and jaw. The broken nose and full lips. I could also see some light freckles across his cheeks.

Could I leave him here or should I move him to a bed? I looked towards the nearest bed and sighed. It was going to be a challenge. But I thought that if he was to wake up it should be in a bed. I stood up and took him by his shoulders.

“Merde, t’es lourd!” I huffed. Well, nothing like a little bit of exercise. Months of early morning running around the estate put some muscles on me even if my house-keeper joked that I do nothing but sit and wilt.

We finished by the side of the bed. Me staring closely at his freckled face and him being oblivious of my stare. I sat him against the bed and puffed loudly. I suspected he was all muscles and armour. Since I could not get rid of muscles maybe I could reduce his weight by taking off his armour? But… how the hell? Is there a secret switch or should I drag it upwards, downwards, sideways?

“Damn it Solas. You’re full of trouble,” I told him. He ignored me which in the present circumstances was understandable. I started poking around its clasps and belts holding his upper coat and found out that it was easy to remove. I felt so proud of myself that I even congratulated myself probably a dozen of times. Once his upper coat was loose I started poking around his lower regions. Ehmm... should my hand actually be between his thighs? I didn’t think so and yet... I proceeded trying not to feel embarrassed.  
If he woke up now and saw me like that he might have used his magic to turn me into stone, I thought. Well, maybe his magic does not work here? I will worry about it once he’s awake.

The click of armour got me out of my reverie. The greaves came out easily and the chain hangs loose. I could get him out of it. Yay! Another victory! I proceeded to disrobe him shamelessly. Once his armour hung loosely I grabbed him by his arms and with one lift I put his torso on the bed. His hips and legs were sticking out. I went around the other side and dragged him towards me to the top of the bed. I ended up with his back on me and my arms wrapped around him. Wow! That was something. He was warm and muscled. I could feel his muscles under his tunic. A heavy sight directly into his ear did nothing to wake him up. Well, that’s all I can do at the moment, I decided. I pushed him off of me and pulled the covers over him. Then moved back to retrieve his armour and put it on the desk next to the mirror.

I turned around to take the room in. Nothing has changed and yet everything had changed. The single man in the bed was changing the present and my life. Should I be delirious and imagining it then please do not stop it. His even breathing continued to prove that I was not hallucinating. Accepting the unexpected situation in my current state seemed to be eased by the rosé. Let’s blame the rosé.

A glass of cold water should do the trick. And if I came back and he was still in the bed then I would accept this all as my new reality. Decided on the plan I proceeded to the kitchen. The quiet of the house seemed too disturbing. I could feel myself willing to breathe. Every breath was like a repetition of the previous one. I chanted in my head that I could do it. That I was not going insane. That I was ok. It has happened to me before. A few years back when I thought I lost it completely. I thought I was on the brink of losing myself to the desperation and darkness. I managed to come back and stand on my feet. I did not want to go through that again. The glass was empty now. My feet took me upstairs. I stalled by his bedroom door and peeked inside. The sight of Solas’ profile illuminated by the corridor light made me believe that I was not losing it this time.

He stirred. Oh, my. I moved a couple of steps in. Then ever so slowly moved to sit to his left side on the bed. I turned the side light on. The eerie light illuminated his features. He blinked a couple of times and then growled. He sighed and opened his eyes. Slowly. They moved around the room and rested on mine.

“Te tas...” he whispered.

“Quoi?” My brows furrowed. What the heck?

“De l’eau s’il vous plait..”

Ahh... I nodded in understanding and smiled curtly. It took me just a half of minute to return with a glass full of water. I also brought a bottle.

He sat against the headboard now and graciously accepted the glass. I looked at him as he wolfishly drank the full glass. Then he sighed and gave it back to me.

“Je vous en prie... encore un...” His voice less raspy but still hoarse.

I nodded and refilled his glass which he drank half of immediately. Then he stopped and looked at me.

“Qui êtes-vous?” He asked quietly. The timbre of his voice made me shiver. 

“J’habite ici. C’est ma maison...”

He nodded. Licked his lips and looked around cautiously. His eyes rested on the night lamp.

“Où sommes-nous exactement?” He inquired still looking at the lamp.

“En Angleterre. Au Nord du pays. C’est vraiment ... phff... juste quelque pas du frontier avec des Écosses...”

“Angleterre... C’est où?” His brows furrowed.

Then it hit me. He was from Thedas. A place which did not exist here. Nowhere here. How was I to convince the Dread Wolf that this world is completely different to his own? 

I sighed. I looked at him and then around shaking my head.

“Damn, how am I to explain this to you?” I asked out loud.

He tilted his head to one side. So him, I thought. Then he stated with a hint of a smile in his voice and a perfect tilting Welsh accent.

“From the beginning. If I may suggest.”


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's cake and wine. Solas has sweet tooth, as we know it.

“The beginning?” I enquired tilting my head to the side.

He mirrored me.

“Well, ok.. I’m Joy,” I extended my hand to him. He took it after a few moments of hesitation.

“I’m Solas if there are to be introductions.”

The words and the warmth of his hand made me gasp. And then I laughed. He was staring at me curiously a soft smile appearing in the corner of his mouth.

“Ok. First things first,” I stood up and turned in a circle. “This is my house. You’re welcome to stay and figure things out. I bet you will have a lot of questions.. yeah, definitely...” I nodded to myself.

Solas was looking at me for a moment and then his eyes moved to a small lamp on the nightstand. I switched it on while checking on him earlier. He turned on the bed and put his feet on the ground. He extended his hand to touch the top of the lamp where the bulb was.

“Careful,” I warned him, “it may be hot.” His hand stopped just an inch away.

“Fascinating,” he admitted. “How does it work?”

“Well...” I moved closer to him, “there’s this thing called electricity which we use to turn many things on and...” 

Solas blinks, his expression unreadable. I sigh. He does not understand. I need to find a better way to explain it to him then.

I moved even closer to the lamp and him as I tumble ungraciously into explanations.

“The shiny part is called a bulb. It has an electricity spell entrapped within. The bulb is sustained by a constant flow of power which makes the light steady and bright.”

He touches the lamp and bears the heat. His mouth stretches into a grin. “Fascinating.”

I groan. That word again. So Solas.

“Is it the same thing in the hallway?” He asks standing up. I gasp again as he is just at arm’s reach from me. Living and breathing Solas. An elf from a fantasy game. His eyes moved from the hallway to me. I cannot find any words, so I nod. He takes a few tentative steps but I halt him.

“Wait, maybe you’d like to refresh yourself?”

He looks at himself taking his appearance in.

“Ahh...” he only just noticed his dishevelled condition and clothes. “I would appreciate the possibility, yes. If you could point me to a basin and water I’d be most grateful...”

“I think I can do better than that,” I replied smugly. “Follow me Solas.”

He does it without protest. Reaching the hallway he stops and looks at the ceiling at the source of light. Then he follows me into the bathroom. It’s quite spacious and modern. He stops in the doorway and looks inside. When his eyes reach the toilet his brow raises and then he turns to me.

With a smug smile, I went to the toilet, lifted the seat and beckoned him closer. 

“After you have used it you press here and the water flushes everything away.” I demonstrate. Well, the flushing water part. His eyes widen and he chuckles. Actually chuckles. 

“Now,” I motion to him to turn around, “here’s the basin with water. And you use those to turn the water on and off and make it warm or cold. I’ll bring you a towel or two so you can clean yourself... Unless…?”

His eyes moved back to me as I let my question hanging.

“Unless...” he repeats.

I point at the bathtub. He’s eyeing it for a moment. Then sighs and nods.

“If it’s not too much trouble...” he admits.

“Not at all,” I shake my head. “The only issue is your clothes. The ones you have are not in best condition and they smell...”

Maybe I imagine that the end of his ears turns slightly pink. Yup, definitely.

“I could wash them for you tomorrow and I could find you something else to wear for the time being.”

His brows furrowed. “What’s happened to my armour?” He asks.

“I left it on the desk next to the mirror.” Now it’s my turn to follow him back to the room. He strides towards the mirror and touches the surface. The mirror does not respond. He shook his head and turned to his armour. He looks it over as if searching for something. He unclips a part of it and I notice that he holds a small vial on a chain in his hand. He puts it over his head.

“I will take that bath now if you’d allow it.”

“Of course.“

He follows me to the bathroom once again. I explain how the shower works and how to turn the water on and off. He listens intently and once I’m satisfied that he understands I bring him towels and show him the soap. 

“I’ll find you something to wear. Hopefully, it’s going to fit you...” I smiled and closed the door behind me.

Living in a decent size estate has many advantages. One of them is having a lot of rooms and wardrobes, so when your friends come over they leave things behind. To use them on their next visit. That also makes you feel as if you were running a hotel. For free. Yay!

I went to the room where my house-keeper stashed all the clothes my friends left behind. After a few moments of rummaging through them, I found a pair of blue denim and a long sleeved light blue top. I wanted to find a pair of socks but then thought better of it. He was running barefoot in the game, so I assumed it wouldn’t be any different for him now. Unfortunately, I did not have underwear.

Well... it sucks but hey, maybe he likes going commando? I shrugged and went back to the upstairs bathroom. I knocked on the door.

“Solas, I have found some clothes for you. Would you mind if I come in?”

“Go on,” he replied curtly.

“I will not look don’t worry. “ I stepped inside and kept my eyes on the floor. “I found some trousers and a top. They should fit you. I will leave them on this shelf. Once you ready come downstairs to the kitchen. I bet you’re hungry.” I realised that I was mumbling but the thought of him sitting naked in my bathtub made me nervous. Scratch that. Excited. I exhaled loudly once I closed the door behind me.

Definitely half an hour later when I was sitting at the kitchen counter and was browsing Tumblr, while sipping the rosé, I heard him clearing his throat. My eyes lifted and I was greeted with a sight which stopped my heart.

He was... Wow. Just Wow. Perfect. The clothes fit him perfectly and the top accentuated his toned body. I noticed that he rolled the trousers, so they ended just above his ankles. He stood there for moments as if reading my reaction. Then he smiled. I blushed slightly.

“How is it you’re not afraid of me?” He asked taking small slow steps towards me. “You’re here alone and you accept me into your home, let me bathe and don’t ask any questions... or call the guards...” he mused.

He stops at the end of the counter. His fingers trace over the counter surface. His eyes are focused on me though.

“Well, it may sound strange but I trust you.”

“Just like that?” He chuckles.

“Yes. Just like that. I trust my instincts and I am never wrong if I follow them. So…”

“Hmm.” He titled his head. His eyes moved to my glass. 

“Would you like some?”

He swallows and then nods.

“It may not be to your tastes but... who knows? Try it.” I mumble again getting a new glass and filling half of it with wine. He likes frilly cakes and the wine is a bit on the sweet side, so he may actually like it.

Solas takes the glass from me and smells it first. He smiles lightly before raising it to his mouth. 

“Hmm... “ he hums appreciatively, “it’s delicious.” He eyes the bottle curiously. There’s barely any wine in it.

“Don’t worry, I have another one so we can share later.” I smile at him.

“Would you like something to eat?” I asked instead of gawking at him. He’s close again and I can smell the soap and fresh linen off him. Crisp and pleasant. I start blaming the rosé again.

He looks around the kitchen but as my house-keeper managed to put everything away there’s nothing to eat in sight.

“I have something in the fridge and I guess I can cook you something. Well maybe not cook but... prepare or something resembling that at least...” I proceed to open the fridge and take a look inside. I look at the strawberry cake in silent appreciation. Solas moves to stand behind me and looks at the cake as well. I noticed his stare as I turned my head slightly only to catch him gaping at it. I sigh. Of course, he wants the cake. Will I fight him for it? Nope. I think I will manage to share it as well. 

“Fine, I’ll share the cake with you.” I grab it from the fridge and set it on the counter.

Two minutes later Solas is diving with a fork onto the strawberry cream and he cannot stop himself from groaning loudly. He stills and I laugh. His ears turn pink. Definitely.

“It’s delicious,” he mumbles.

“Of course, it is. It’s my favourite one. One of the few things I actually remember to eat.” I shake my head and eye his now empty glass. Great, first wine now cake. He likes the things I do. Well, maybe he is thirsty.

“Would you prefer more wine of some water?”

He replies with a smile. “More wine would be nice.”

I fetch the bottle only to realise that it’s not been chilled.

“We’ll need to wait a bit I’m afraid. It should be slightly chilled...”

Solas puts down the plate and extends his hand towards the bottle. “May I?”

He holds it in his grasp and the frost covers the surface. My eyes widen. He could do magic here. But how? There’s no Fade here. Or maybe it’s something else?

“Nice trick,” I said to his smug smile and laughing eyes. He handed me the bottle back. It was chilled enough to be drunk. I pour us the wine. Then I sigh.

“I think it’s time for us to talk. Like maybe how did you end up in here?”


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solas being cheeky. No need to say anything else.

“I suggest I make us some coffee. Preferably with a lot of sugar and milk...” I decided to walk away from silence-stoned Solas who was sitting on my couch and staring at the TV. For the last half an hour he was silent and his brows furrowed.  My explanation of him being a video game character was accepted as expected. With laughter then denial and then disbelief. So I decided to show him. YouTube was helpful. I chose to show him just the main events and leave the romancing part.  It was enough to convince him. He shook his head and then felt silent with his forearms on his knees and his bare feet buried in my fluffy carpet. He did not utter a single word, so after a while, I felt myself drifting away from exhaustion. I think that the initial euphoria started wearing off. A cup of coffee was a good idea.

I was pouring milk into mugs when his voice startled me.

“You seem to know more of me than I expected. And even if you know the truth you’re not afraid of me...”

I turned around to look at him. He was standing right next to me. My heart skipped. But not for fear of him. His blue eyes were so sad. Disbelief still swimming in them.

“No matter how you got here... that part I cannot explain... but no matter that. I do not fear you Solas. You want to right the wrongs the only way you can. I cannot fault you for that.”

“Will I ever go back?” His eyes downcast. His brows furrowed again. “If I ever go back...”

“I’ll help you if I can.” His eyes shot to mine and a ghost of a smile appeared on his face.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

I pointed to one of the mugs. He picked it up carefully bringing it to his lips. Took a sip and swallowed. Then he took another one and another.

“Easy tiger, it has a side effect of caffeine waking you up!” I laughed at his puzzled expression.

“I should not be drinking it too quickly then?”

“Just slow down. I don’t want you to have a heart attack.”

“You care for my well-being. I’m flattered.” He did not miss a bit.

“Well...” I turned to my own mug to stop gawking into his eyes. “I cannot have you unable to save your world, right? You’re needed after all to finish your mission.” I looked back at him.

He smirked. “Oh, and I thought you’d be more interested in my well-being. You’re taking care of me quite well...”

I shook my head at his antics. “Don’t push your luck.”

He was sipping his coffee looking at me.

“There’s something special about you Joy. I cannot decide what it is but I know it’s there...”

“Really? Is his your best cheesy pickup line?” I snorted.

“Pardon?” His head tilted to one side.

“Oh, nevermind. You’re cute when you are confused,” I remarked finishing my coffee.

He chuckled. And it earned him a roll-eye from me.

“So... the Inquisitor in your... emm... game... was she a Trevelyan?”

“Yes. Her name is Deava Trevelyan. She’s from Ostwick circle of Magi- ”

“..she’s tall with brown mid length hair and blue eyes?” He interjected.

I nodded. He sighed.

“That’s the Inquisitor.”

It’s not possible. That cannot be. If my Inquisitor was Solas Inquisitor then does it mean that other things are the same? I could not stop my curiosity, so I started firing questions at him. He was pleasantly surprised that I knew so much about the last years of his life and he was more than happy to talk. We moved the discussion back to the living room and the couch. We sat facing each other and I could see that as the discussion progressed he became more relaxed and willing to share his remarks and opinions. We found out that there were a lot of similarities between our Inquisitors and yet they were slightly different. Solas could also provide me with behind the scenes events which took place.

“You miss them, don’t you?” The question spilled from my mouth.

His smile faltered and then he nodded. “There’s no denying it. Some of them I consider friends... and it pains me even more what I am about to do to them...”

“Maybe there’s another way Solas...” I said covering his hand with mine.

He stilled and then moved his gaze from my hand to my face.

“I will be willing to hear the alternatives...”

“I don’t know any of them, “ I snorted, “ but you’ll be the first to know if I come up with an idea.”

I started pulling my hand back. He twisted his hand and grabbed mine.

“As absurd and improbable this situation is I’m glad that I have met you, Joy.”

I laughed quietly. The absurdity and impossibility of the situation were unreal.  Me sitting in my living room with an elf right from the video game. Oh, and sipping coffee and talking about the game as if it was the real world. Wait, I think that for him it is actually real. Like _real_ real, if quoting Sera.

“Well... yeah. As absurd as this situation is, I still think we need to go to bed. Preferably now.”

“Together or..?” His eyes crinkled in corners.

Smug bastard. I laughed to hide my embarrassment and inappropriate thoughts at such invitation. I started walking the stairs to the upper floor.

“Separately would be preferable.”

“Are you certain?” Solas chided laughter colouring his question.

“ _Solas!_ ” I turned to him as if offended. He smiled not buying my rage. He was insufferable. He knew I liked him and he enjoyed every moment of it. The thought of joining him in his bed has crossed my mind but then I remembered how he dropped Lavellan. He was not a guy to toy with.

We stopped in front of his bedroom.

“Good night Solas.”

“Sleep well Joy.”

Only after I closed the door to my own bedroom I realised something. He flirted with me. Solas flirted with _me_.


	4. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mirror. And magic. And Solas being smug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation:
> 
> “Ir abelas.” – I’m sorry.
> 
> “Merde, comment c’est possible?” – Damn, how’s that possible?

Late morning the next day I rounded the estate twice as my daily routine of jogging. I also stopped and chatted with my gardener who was cutting grass in the front yard. He was a mid-aged man who loved gardening and I appreciated that he accepted to stay after my aunt’s passing.  

After a quick shower, I decided to check upon my guest. I knocked on his door and waited for any sign or response. Silence.

“Solas?” I asked opening the door and walking in.

He sat in front of the mirror with his hands on the knees and palms up emanating magic. Blue tendrils of magic around him. I approached him slowly.

“Solas?”

He did not hear me. I looked at his face and noticed that his eyes were closed and his brows were low. I sat next to his left and watched him. He was still. Only the blue strings of light were moving around him. His lips thinned into a line, so I suspected he was concentrating on a spell. The magic hummed and made my hair stand on my arm when I passed my hand through the blue tendrils.

This wasn’t probably the best idea as Solas’ eyes shot open and he grabbed my arm bringing me closer to him. His eyes flashed electric blue for a moment.

“Joy...” he greeted me dispelling the magic around us.

“I thought I may try to active the mirror since it’s the most probable way for me to go back.” Sad eyes moved to the mirror in question. I looked at it as well. It was just a mirror. I could see our reflections. I met Solas’ eyes in the mirror and smiled. He was looking at me intently. His hand was still on my arm. But I wasn’t complaining. Why would I?

“Ir abelas. I should not have done that...” He apologised letting go of me. I moved away.

“If there is a way to help you... or find a person who may help... I will... but I have no idea how to start looking for them...” I admitted quietly.

“Your willingness to help me means a lot Joy. “ His eyes crinkled in the corners as a small smile emerges on his lips.

I smiled in return. “A scientist maybe... professor of physics or something...” I murmured.

“What do you know about the mirror?”

“I inherited it from my late aunt. She passed me the house and a couple of trinkets. The mirror was among a few things she requested to never be sold. I like the design, even as weird as it is, so I kept it.” I shrugged.

“If I may ask when did your aunt die?”

“It’s been a couple of years now. Around three. Yes. It will be three years in two months...”

“You’ve been living here ever since?”

I nodded. He smiled and looked at the ground.

“What are the other trinkets, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Oh, I don’t. But they are not really special. Mostly some bubbles and jewellery. Some books and a painting, which is really horrible, by the way. I don’t really like it so I keep it in the attic.”

He was quiet for a few moments. His gaze learning the planes of my face. This was strange. What was he looking for?

“The mirror has magic in it...” His declaration made me hitch my eyebrows.

“W-what?” I turned to the mirror and looked at it doubtfully. “How’s that possible?”

“I don’t know yet. But it responds to my magic, so it’s safe to assume that it has magical properties... at least some basic ones.” He explained looking at me. I have noticed his gaze in the reflection.

My finger dragged along the frame. It was made of wood and metal. Odd shapes of leaves and symbols were carved alongside the beaded pattern of metal stones. It had its unique charm and provided good reflection and that’s why I kept it.

My hand slid to the bottom part of the mirror and I felt as if I did it before. As if in the past...  _hand sliding along the carvings, fingers touching between the cold glass surface and the beaded metal and then moving towards the leaves and pressing them into a shape._

“Joy!” Strong hands pulling me away from the glass and his voice shouting my name got me out of the stupor. My hand released the mirror’s frame and I jumped to my feet backing away from the object.

“Are you alright?” Solas hand touched my forearm. I looked at him and saw a mixture of concern and curiosity in his stormy eyes.

“What was _that_?” I asked confusion in my eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“The mirror... I thought I saw  _something_... like a memory. As if I touched the mirror before. But that’s ridiculous! I have been handling it for years now. Moving it from room to room. Dusting it off and cleaning it... I don’t understand...”

Solas regarded me for a while then turned to look at the mirror.

“Maybe my passing through it somehow awoke its magic?” He suggested. He looked back to me. His hand still on my arm.

We stared at each other for a few moments. He sighed.

“Maybe we could have another cup of that delicious coffee you made us yesterday... and continue this conversation as well?” He suggested with a smile on his lips.

I nodded and led us to the kitchen. He stepped towards the window and looked outside. I focused on preparing the coffee. I have not noticed that Solas was following my every movement.

“Merde, comment c’est possible?” I poured the milk and stirred the sugar.

“I think that it's mixed enough.” Solas’ hand held mine to stop the movement of me turning the teaspoon for probably a hundredth time.

“Oh, yes. Thank you.” I nodded to him. He accepted his mug and closed his eyes taking the first sip. He hummed in appreciation.

I sniggered. He raised any eyebrow in return.

“I shall remember to make you a cup every morning then,” I joked.

“Then I shall make sure we always have enough so you can do so...” his lips stretched into a lopsided smile.

 _Smooth_. I shook my head. Not surprising that Lavellan so easily fell for him. Well, at least, I played as Trevelyan, so no heartache there.

We were sipping the coffee in silence. I looked outside to see my gardener had finished cutting the grass. I was hoping he would be able to take a look at the flower in the living room. For some reason, the orchid was struggling to stay up straight. I hoped he did not forget me mentioning it to him earlier. I heard him enter the house and shuffling around the back. I turned to Solas and saw him standing against the kitchen island with his hands outstretched to his sides lying flat on the counter. He looked relaxed and yet deep in thoughts.

My heart stopped.

“Damn it Solas!”

His eyes shot to me. He focused on my heated gaze.

“Damn it... your  _ears,_ ” I said quietly.

He raised an eyebrow.

“There are no elves here. Only  _humans_. You cannot be seen with pointy ears! I mean the gardener cannot see you with pointy ears... I mean...  _merde_... Shall I bring you a hat or something?” I whispered frantically as Solas smile grew. Then he laughed. Loudly.

“Don’t worry Joy. I know a spell...” A flash of an electric blue in his eyes and his ears rounded. I blinked and then blinked again. Just to be sure I see right. His smirking continued. Smug bastard.

I had no time to respond as the gardener entered the kitchen.

“Oh, good morning Sir.” He inclined his head towards Solas in greeting.

“Good morning,” Solas replied curtly.

Up to this point, I still hoped that the elf may be a product of my imagination and that I went crazy and he is not really here. Yet, as my gardener just greeted him the feeling of dread crept over me. This is real... not a fantasy then... Unless my gardener is also crazy. Well, I’m in a good company.

“Miss, I would take a look at that flower you mentioned. “

“Of course, thank you, Steve.”

His retreating steps were heard as he went to the living room.

I looked at Solas. And his round ears. He smiled at me.

“Well, that is another nice trick of yours.” He beamed. Oh yes. His name suits him. Pride.

“Still... I prefer you with pointy ears...” I pursued my lips to emphasize my statement. His eyes focused on my lips. Then his gaze travelled to my eyes.

“Is that so?” Head cocked to one side.

I nodded.

His jaw clenched and he stepped towards me.

“Then you’re probably the first person to think so...”


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are pancakes. And Solas. And... also cookies.
> 
> There's also a short chapter titled 'Cookies. And Solas.' written from his POV.  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/7138118

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translation:  
> Mais.. revenons à nos moutons.. – But let’s return to the question in hand.. / let us return to the subject..

I felt grumpy. Not because I wanted to but because I could not understand the current situation.

Solas was making friends with my house-keeper Maya.  I could not believe it. She was not a person to trust easily and yet looking at them now you’d think they’ve known each other for years.

I returned from my morning jog and after taking a shower I arrived in the kitchen where I found Maya and Solas deep in conversation.

Now, she was vividly explaining how to make pancakes while recounting local folk stories and both subjects got him enraptured. They also were practicing the cooking recipe, so Solas was mixing the ingredients while smiling gently at her.

I furrowed my eyebrows sitting on the counter where Solas guided me fifteen minutes ago. He took a break and was making me a cup of coffee. I could not believe my eyes even if I was gaping at him. The Wolf was making me a cup of coffee while leisurely talking to my house-keeper. I though the end of the world was close. Unbelievably close.

“There you go, Joy.” He handed me a cup of milky coffee. I looked at him and he grinned at me. I held his gaze while taking a sip of the beverage. It was delicious and I hummed happily. His eyes lit up and crinkled at the corners. Dayum. Again he lives to his name.

I smiled at him shaking my head in disbelief.

“Well, since you’ve mastered the complicated process of making coffee I wonder what else you may learn?” I teased him jumping off the counter and standing next to him. He was close but did not move.

“I suppose you’ll have to wait and see.”

“Yes. Anyway, I’ll be in the office working. If anybody needs me I’m-”

“No way Miss. You’ll have your breakfast today.” Maya turned from the stove and glared at me. Some days I thought she was my guardian rather than the house-keeper.

“I’m not really hungry Maya-”

“No, you’re not. Of course, you’re not. As always. But I will not listen to this. We have had this conversation many times and you know that you need to eat.”

“But... but...”

“No _but_ Miss Emily. I will see to it that you _have_ the breakfast.” She stated categorically and turned back to the stove.

I suppressed the habit of sticking out my tongue at her.

Solas looked at me apprehensively. His eyes roamed my figure and he said quietly, “I’ll make you breakfast.”

I sulked and jumped back onto the counter. I grabbed the coffee and focused on my phone. I was socialising. Or at least trying to with my grumpy mood.

Tumblr got me distracted for quite some time because suddenly a plate full of golden pancakes covered in maple syrup was moving in front of my face. I looked at the pancakes and then at the long fingers holding the plate. I sighed. Why is he doing _this_ to me? I looked at him finally. Gentle request in his eyes was enough to change my mind. I grabbed the fork from the plate and dove into the fluffy pastry. It was deliciously and sickly sweet. But good. I managed to get a few bites and was chewing on them when I heard Solas chuckle.

My eyes shoot up to his and I can see a broad smile on his face. I think he’s happy. I also think that I want to smack him over his head or maybe smack him with a pancake. Yeah. Smug bastard. He’s still smiling looking like a Cheshire cat.

I swallow and ask, “Have you had any?”

He shakes his head. This will not do. I bet he never had pancakes. Well not of this kind anyway. I fork a piece, swirl it in the syrup and holds it in front of his mouth. He looks at me for a while. His lips slightly part. His hand moves to cover mine and he goes for the pancake. All the while looking into my eyes. I gulp. He’s... oh my... really? He pulls the pancake of the fork and licks his lips catching the syrup drop. He starts chewing while his mouth spreads into a grin. Smug...

I sigh again. Poor Lavellan, there was no escape for her after seeing something like that, right? How could you resist a man who makes eating pancakes so sultry?

We stare at each other. The gentleness from before returns to his eyes which now roam my face as if learning the contours of it. His hand is still covering mine and his thumb is moving along my knuckles.

“I am so glad you have eaten something today Miss.” Maya’s voice wakes me up.

“Well... yes...” I comment intelligently and focusing on the plate I finish the pancakes.

Solas takes the plate from me and returns to Maya’s side. She smiles at him knowingly.

“I’ll be in my office.” I reiterate grabbing my coffee and leaving them to their own devices.

**~**

“I knew you’d be too engrossed in that writing of yours that you’d forget about the rest of the world,” Maya states while placing a cup of hot coffee next to my laptop. I sigh and rub my eyes. It’s been a couple of hours and I was happy that I have almost finished my writing assignments and replied to most of the emails. Which reminded me of the one I would need to talk to the elf about.

“Have you seen Mr. Pancake?” I ask not knowing if he introduced himself by his real name.

“Solas?” I nod. “He was supposed to bring you the coffee but he got distracted by the library. He is reading. I told him you’d not mind. His coffee is also cold..” She shakes her head but smiles.

“You should keep him.” She adds after a moment.

I look at her questioningly.

“Solas. You should keep him.”

“Maya, he’s not a pet to be kept-”

“I don’t think he would mind being kept. Especially not by _you_.” Her smile gets even wider.

“I don’t think you understand how this works Maya. I cannot decide on keeping him... he needs to- well want to want- oh my... I’m out of words for today it seems...” I admit hiding my head in my hands.

“Oh trust me. He wants to...” She repeats after a few heartbeats.

My head snaps at her. She smiles and nods vigorously.  My eyebrow arches in a silent question.

“Judging by the tons of questions he asked about you, the way he looks at you or behave around you I’d say that he really wants to.” Another smug person in my house. Am I to be surrounded by smug all-knowing people?

A long exhale helps me to stay calm. A short roll of my tired shoulders and couple of blinks let me keep my good humour.

“Maya, please explain to me how did you learn all that in the space of a half a day?”

“It’s not even about the sheer number of questions he asked. It’s about _what_ questions he asked. He wanted to know every small detail about you. Not only the big things but also and maybe most of all the smallest things that make you happy. What is your favourite sound, favourite beverage, food, how to make you smile, if you like walking besides jogging... although I think he called it something like _running after something at a sluggish pace_. I also noticed how his eyes lit up the moment you walked into the kitchen. That’s all I needed as a confirmation anyway.”

“Maya... please don’t- I ... well... I don’t know- I think you’re reading too much into it.” I wave her off. She sighed and left me on my own. I needed to finish the article I was writing anyway. Then I could go and check again this invitation from Shaun to his exhibition in London. His first big one. I bet he is so ecstatic about it.

Mais.. revenons à nos moutons..

The stupid article did not want to write itself. I tried to please it, scream at it, bribe it and glare at it. Nothing worked. So finally, I saved what I had and switched back to my email box. I was happily replying to Shaun’s email asking all sort of question about the exhibition when a plate full of freshly baked cookies appeared in front of me. The plate held by slender fingers. _Him_ again. With food.

I smile and arch my eyebrow. “Are these for me?”

Then I look at him. Oh my, what a sight. He nods happily in reply and it makes me burst into laughter. He is covered in flour. The white powder covers his clothes in a fine layer leaving only his hands clean. I bet he did not notice this. How sweet...

Solas’ brows furrow and he looks utterly confused, so I stand up and touch his face with my fingers dragging them along his cheek. Then show them to him.

He chuckles and shakes his head. As if in disbelief.

I take a cookie from the plate and bite into it. It’s good and has chunks of white chocolate in it. My favourite type of chocolate.

“Hmm… _delicious_ …” I cannot resist teasing him.

His eyes snaps to mine and his cheeks turn pink. I think. It’s hard to say for certain under the amount of white layer covering his features. He stares at me as if struck. Then he drags a breath.

I finish the cookie. His gaze turns heated as he continues looking at me. He exhales slowly through his slightly open mouth. Then his eyes travel to my lips which I lick to get rid of crumbs. He’s entranced by the movement of my tongue which in turn makes me swallow hard. I take the plate off of him and put it on the desk then I turn to face him moving closer. His breathing becomes erratic. I place my hand on his cheek and lean in. He meets me half way and kisses me softly on the lips. We part for a moment and then go back with less hesitancy. His tongue moves across my lower lip and I moan into his awaiting mouth.

“Would you like to try the other one?” Solas asks.

I blink. And then blink again.

He stands in front of me with the same plate of cookies. His finger points to the cinnamon’s ones.

W-what the..? How’s this..? I thought we just... I can still feel his lips... and the taste of...

I turn around and lean on the desk. I blink again. It must have been... well, I don’t know. Strange. I turn back to him to try to assuage the discomfort I felt at the slightly awkward situation.

“Let’s take the cookies to the living room. I will make us something to drink while you go and change... and maybe clean yourself... a shower would be good...”

He nods and we leave my office. Well, a room which serves as my office. Full of books and magazines and all the writing things. Also posters and yeah all the inspirational stuff I guess. I call them _distractions_ though.

We separate in the kitchen while he goes upstairs while I flick the kettle on. We should try hot chocolate, I decide. I do everything in my power to focus on preparing the beverage but my thoughts go back to _that_ kiss. Well... a kiss that did not happen. Apparently. Since Solas did not refer to it. Well, he would not be standing so far when he was just...

I rub my eyes. I guess my tired mind projected something I thought about. My hand stills. Wait? I wanted this? Him? Oh my... _no_. That’s _not_ advisable.

My hand drops and my head turns toward the stairs. I can hear running water. He’s taking a shower then. Well... now my thoughts move from a kissing-elf to a naked-under-the-shower-elf.

“Oh, my...” I grunt and close my eyes.


	6. Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens. More Solas and his magic. Also a trip and an unusual outcome.

“Good morning.” I heard the greeting so I turned around only to see Solas standing in the kitchen doorway. A pleasant smile on his lips. His eyes travelling my figure while I sit at the counter. I paused the eating and replied with a grunt. My mouth full of cereals.  He approached me slowly stopping a few inches away. I saw him looking at my glasses which I put on this morning shying away my contacts. I blinked at him seeing his freckles so closely.

“Why are you wearing these..?”

I moved the frame higher on my bridge. A nervous habit I guess.

“I need them to see better.”

“But you did not wear them before.”

“I wore contacts.” His eyebrow arched with a question visible in his eyes. “Small things you put in the eyes so you can see better. And people do not notice them.”

“Ah, I see.” He admitted moving his gaze to my hand holding a spoon full of cereals.

“Would you like some?” I offered. He smiled.

“May I see them first?” He motioned to my glasses. I took them off and passed to him.

 He put them on and squinted for a moment before taking them off and putting on the counter next to me. His eyes were scanning my face. Tentatively, as if he was afraid to ask something. I looked at him and could notice, with my slightly blurred vision, that he was considering something.

“Would you allow me to tend to your eyes?”  Gentle question combined with a gentle touch to my cheek. He probably was seeing the red eyes. They stung since this morning hence the glasses instead of contacts. I sighed and turned to face him. His hands moved to the sides of my face and his fingers splayed against my ears while his thumbs rested on my forehead. A soft whisper of magic pooling from his hands and enveloping my head. I blinked a couple of times as the light was blinding me.

“Close your eyes.” He whispered moving closer to me. His forehead touched mine and I heard him sigh.

“Mhm.” I felt his hands moving lower to my cheeks and then to my jaw.

“Open your eyes, Joy.” He said softly, just a whisper away from my face.

I did as asked and saw him staring at me. I had to squeeze my eyes for a moment as he was too close. Then I dropped my gaze to his chest. A bit better. He kept his forehead against mine for a bit longer before releasing me and taking a step back.

“How do you feel?” He inquired gently.

I looked around. The feeling of stinging and tiredness left my eyes that’s for sure. I fell them being refreshed as I scanned the kitchen. Eventually, I looked at him.

“I’m fine.” I shrugged and then looked through the window as I heard the bird chirping his heart off.  Again. For the love of... shut up you stupid bird! I thought glaring at the bird sitting in a tree some fifty yards away. He’s not stopping... maybe I could throw a rock or... for the love of... really? The bird was insistent.

“Could you do me a favour and turn this bird into stone or something?”  I asked the elf. The surprised expression and then a chuckle coming from him were all I got.

“No. But you can see it, right?”

“Yes. Why would I not..? “ The question died on my lips as the clogs in my early-morning-non-working brain started to turn. I could see a bird in a tree from a distance of fifty yards. Without glasses or contacts. I blinked and looked outside again. The bird continued its singing or chirping. At that particular moment, I did not care. I realised that I cold see perfectly. My eyes went back to Solas, who was smirking now, and then scanned the kitchen. I could see everything in clear details. Clear details.

“Oh, my...” I managed to articulate. Speechlessly, I stared at Solas. He gave me a perfect eye-sight. I could just kiss him, I thought. And that’s why you should not do it, I told myself. I sighed.

“How is that possible?”

“Magic.” He replied smugly waggling his fingers at me.

“Yes, but how..?”

“Have you ever seen anyone in Thedas wearing... those?” He pointed to my glasses on the counter behind me.

I shook my head. “Glasses. No.”

My eyes scanned his face  for a moment longer before I realised the grandeur of his feat. It was something I would always be grateful about.

“Thank you, Solas. This means so much to me.” I said quietly lowering my gaze and taking his hand. His long fingers laced through mine and I thought he shuddered slightly. Maybe I imagined it though because as I looked back up at him his face was unreadable. Only the gentleness in his eyes remained.

His other hand went to caress my cheek.

“You’re welcome Joy.” His eyes shone but then his brow furrowed. “Why Maya calls you Emily?”

I smirked, “Because it’s my name?”

“I thought your name was Joy.” His head tilted to one side.  Our fingers still intertwined. His thumb circling my knuckles.

“Well, my friends call my Joy and it’s also my pen name, so I got used to it I guess. But you cannot imagine my parents calling me ‘joy’, right? Well... they were a bit weird but... oh,  nevermind. My proper name is Emily Cooper if you need to know.”

“Emily.” My name a repeated whisper on his lips while he studies my face. “Yes, that name suits you,” he admits.

“How so?”

His soft smile was my answer. His eyes bore into mine. Stop it Solas, I thought. He is making me... I forced my head to turn and look at my abandoned breakfast.

“Cereals for breakfast then?”

*

“Try this one,” I say handing him a dark long sleeved top. I’m definitely not making him change to see his bare torso. Nope. He stopped turning around from me after the third top, so now I had a pleasant view of his abs and muscles flexing with his movements. Also, a smirk gracing his lips and mischief dancing in his eyes. Oh, he knew of the effect he had on me and he did not try to hide it. Bastard.

The colour suited him, so I nodded happily and turned around to fish a nice sweater from the wardrobe.

We were going on a trip. Like outside. And Solas needed more clothes. So, I was diving into the sea of my friends clothes and especially looking for James’ who had a similar built to Solas’. I managed to find quite a decent set and he was wearing it happily. He looked good. No, scratch that. He looked very good.

A pair of dark almost black low waist jeans and a black woven like turtle neck accentuated his body shape. I passed him a pale orange hiking jacket with a hood. He put it on but was fiddling with the zipper. I leaned in and zipped it for him. His eyes lit. He discovered another new thing!

The hat I found for him completed the outfit. I think. Oops, he needs some shoes. I think that Nick’s the same size. Ten minutes later I found the trekking shoes and socks to go with them. I turned around to look at the model and started laughing. He put the hat on but dropped it around the ears, so they stuck out.

“Nooo, you need to cover them. It’s rather cold or windy where we go...”

The ends got pink a bit and he chuckled embarrassedly.

My hands went to the hat to fix it on his head. I heard his breath caught just as his eyes landed on mine. Oh, I touched his ears. I think they are still sensitive even if they are round now. Well... good to now, right?

I covered his ears and moved my hands lower to check on his jacket. He was still looking at me, so I moved to the next topic. Trekking shoes.

“Put them on. Socks first.”

He does as instructed and now I have a fully clothed Solas in front of me. Smiling Solas.

I nodded happily at him and then told him to take off the clothes and wait for me in the kitchen while I dress.  He agreed and left me on my own.

You need to stop this... this silly infatuation with him. It’s not like you can have future or anything. It cannot be, just let it go, I told myself fishing for clothes. I knew I was right not wanting to pursue him. He seemed willing or... maybe I read the signs incorrectly. No, he was interested. You can always ask him, my brain supplied. Yes, of course, I could go over and ask “Oh, Solas is there any chance that you’re interested in me. You know, romantically interested?” And he would be like “Yes, I am. I was waiting for you to breach this subject as I was hoping..” oh, let it go stupid brain. _What ifs_ are not my thing. I cannot think of him this way. He’s going to leave, I told myself coldly as I put a scarf around my neck and pulled on my hiking jacket. I was ready. Even if my heart was not.

*

“How are we going to get... wherever we’re going to?” Solas asked standing outside my front door. He was looking around curiously.

“We’re taking a car,” I stated absently as I was scrolling through my emails. I was waiting for a reply from a certain professor interested in non-usual things whom I contacted the other day. I hoped that he would meet us, so we could discuss Solas’ situation. I did not know if he was an expert but he wrote a book or two on the supernatural. No reply yet, alas. I sighed and looked at the elf.

“What is a car? Is this one of those strange moving objects I saw on TV?” He enquired moving closer to me.

I nodded and waved to him to follow me. My Ford Ranger was parked at the side of the house. I opened the back door and placed my bag inside. Solas did the same. Once inside I looked to the passenger seat only to see that Solas was standing outside with a frown on his face. Ah, the door. Another mystery to him. I leaned over and open the door.

“Hop in.”

A look of confusion and uncertainty crossed his features. He swallowed and climbed into the seat noticing the way I sat. I smiled.

“Good. First step accomplished. Now, we need to close this door. Just try not to... argh I’ll do it.” I said without thinking and then leaned over again to grab the door handle and pulled the door closed. His eyes were following my movements and his hands went to my back and forearm to support me. Almost like a habit. They lingered there as well as I did for a moment too long.

Stop it, I chided myself, you had thought about it some while back, you should not hope for more.

I pulled away breaking the stare and his hands went back to his lap.

“Your seatbelt as well,” I groaned. There was no way to escape the closeness. Nope. As if you mind that, my brain mocked me.

When I leaned over again his lips curled into a smile. His eyes scanned my face and landed on my lips. I reached out behind him and grabbed the stupid belt to pull it towards me but, me being me, I managed to do it too fast. It locked and I was pulled towards him. His arms were around me in a second and his smile broadened.

“Not even a word,” I hissed.

“I would not dare.” He whispered eyeing me shamelessly.

Stop it. Just calm down and stop thinking about kissing him, I shouted to myself internally which did not help with calming my pounding heart. I locked the seatbelt in place and then did the same with mine. Then I started the engine. The sound made Solas jump. His hands grabbed the seat tightly. When the roaring of the engine turned to the quiet murmur I said, “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.”

His eyes locked with mine for a moment and the slight discomfort turned into a wicked glare. “I’ll hold you to that promise, don’t worry.”

Oh oh. I think I may regret saying that. Anyway, we were ready to go, so we went off.

The trip was not eventful at all. Unless, you count his fidgeting fingers turning every knob on the dashboard. Or pressing every button around him. The window was lowered and closed a dozen times. Each time it made him smile while uttering a quiet _fascinating_ word. He observed my driving and the way I changed the controls and pedals and gear stick. He even bent over and moved lower, so he could see which pedals were pushed. I almost lost control of the steering wheel when I spotted his head so close to me. Luckily, no accident or major disaster occurred. We safely arrived at our destination I could turn the radio off and leave the vehicle to get some air. Being so close to him and with his leaning over me and getting into my personal space was a bit overwhelming. A lot actually.

He got out without a problem. Bastard learns quite quickly. I bet he could drive after the first lesson.

*

“.. however, behind the legend of this place, there are some hard facts. The locals can tell you that this place has been haunted for centuries and you can see the ghosts of the previous residents here on moonless nights. Or that the sobbing of a young maiden, who has taken her own life, can be heard at night if you walk along the south wall. We know for certain that the maiden, in fact, was real. She was a daughter of a local farmer who had little to nothing to survive. She caught the eye of the heir of the land and he was smitten with her wit and beautiful green eyes. The fact is that she lived in the nearby village until her 18th birthday and then she disappeared. The heir left the estate shortly after as he was sent to pursue his education in a nearby city. He came back after two years and asked around about the girl but no one could tell him anything about her whereabouts. Her parents did not know what’s happened.  The search for her lasted some time. She was never found. The heir returned to the city and eventually married a young and capricious girl his father chose for him. It is actually recorded that the son was coming back every year for a few weeks to spend some time wandering the hills and local moors. It was always on the maiden’s birthday month. Every single year..”

The rest of the story was lost to me as I panicked. Solas was not next to me. He was there when we entered the state and this old half-ruined castle. We joined a toured group to listen to their guide and we were following them diligently and now the elf is gone. He walked off! No. Nope. Nope. I’m going to smack him over his bald head if he did it on purpose.

I waited till the group moved to the next room and turned around. I traced our steps and returned to the previous chamber... of sort. This was where I saw him last as he commented on something the guide said. I looked around and saw another doorway and stairs leading down. I think that he went there. Why was he so curious? Silly elf, I mumbled under my breath while walking down the stairs. Down and down. Where do they lead to? And why is there barely any light?

*

Almost like Thedas, Solas thought to himself. He touched the walls and let his magic seep through his fingers to caress the stone and spread along the sides. He could feel a dormant amount of... magic? He was unsure. This world had no magic as he knew it and yet it had a semblance of it. He could cast spells and draw the mana from somewhere. Whether that something was not the Fade but something utterly else he did not know. His aura shimmered as a small fleck of energy got in his vision field. A wisp, a lonely wisp, or so he thought. He beckoned to it and the small ball of light was floating towards him. Then it stopped some distance away as if to test Solas’ intent. He calmed himself and cleared his mind in hope of sending the non-threatening vibes. The wisp started approaching him and transforming into a shape. Of a young boy. He was all light and yellow sparks but Solas could discern his eyes which were observing him. He smiled and the boy smiled back. He was becoming more solid with time. The boy motioned to Solas to follow him. The ever curious elf could not miss this opportunity even if he knew that he should go back. To her. And yet his curiosity won for the moment. Just a few steps, he thought to himself.

He followed the boy further down the empty corridor pouring more magic into the air. The castle walls transformed themselves into a vision of repaired ones with herald emblems hanging on the walls and furniture occupying the empty space. They turned the corner and then stopped in a large chamber and the boy pointed to the fireplace which turned itself into life as Solas gave it a magical nudge. Then as more magic enveloped the room the elf could see more people around some sitting some standing or walking. Most of them were talking and eating the food from the long table filled with plates full of succulent meats, fresh fruits and deliciously looking desserts.

This was amazing and Solas was turning his head around to see how the events will unfold in front of him. He was mesmerised. The boy pointed to the young woman who was gathering empty plates and glasses from the table. She was swift on her feet and graceful in her movements. Her hat, a kind of white bonnet with frills, was covering most of her hair but a few lose strands escaped. Her hair was dark and curly. He could not see her face, though. She was turned away from him and bowing all the time. The guests around the table did not pay much attention to her. Except for one of them. A young man was sitting in the middle of the table and was following the woman’s movement with a heated gaze. He was handsome and definitely rich judging by his clothes.

Solas took a few steps closer to the young man. The woman was turning his way. She moved to take the plate from the young man in question when he, in turn, reached out and let his hand brush her own. She stilled in her movements. Her heaving bosom the only proof that the scene continued. The young man looked the woman in the eyes and smiled. Solas thought that there must be something there. Some significance in this because why else the boy was showing this to him? He had no idea. He decided to watch. The woman was looking at the man for a short moment before dropping her eyes to the table.

The young man opened his mouth as if to say something and..

A short screeching sound came from the entrance. Solas’ heart clenched as he recognised the voice. _Joy_.


	7. Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joy has questions. Solas has answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translation:  
> ma nuvenin - as you wish  
> merde - damn

She was standing in the doorway clutching her head in her hands and shaking violently. Her eyes full of fear. He was at her side instantly using Fade step. His arms enveloped her and she buried her head under his chin.

“Clam down Joy. Please calm down. There’s nothing to fear. It was just-” he wanted to explain but she interrupted him in a shaky voice.

“There are not here. They want to tell you, _they_ are not here.”

“.. a vision.”

She was shaking in his arms when he moved away from her, so he could see her face. His hand cradled her cheek as he lifted her face. Her eyes full of fear. Her lower lip trembling slightly.

“What do you mean?” He prodded gently. She shook her head in silent reply closing her eyes at the same time.

“Can we leave please?”

“ _Ma nuvenin._ ” He embraced her and led towards the exit not before looking over his shoulder to give the scene one last look. It was slowly dissolving into nothing except for the boy standing there looking sadly at the woman in his arms.

A few minutes later they were outside and Joy was inhaling loudly. He was standing closely tracing circles on her back to calm her down. She was clutching to him desperately and he wanted to give her comfort if nothing else. She did not say another word since they left the ruins.

*

“Do you shave your head?” I asked him while cutting the chicken piece on my plate.

We were sitting at the local hotel’s restaurant. More of a pub actually. Having a meal and a drink as if nothing has happened. As if I did not see the ghosts. As if everything was normal.

He was staring at his plate filled with fish and roasted potatoes swirling a fork in the mashed peas.

“I... yes. No, not really. I use a spell,” he admitted.

“You're not sure whether you shave your head or use a spell?”

“It's complicated...” he admitted. “I used to shave some part of my head and left the hair on top. And then I used a spell to keep it that way for as long as possible. With time I was shaving more of it off until I shaved it completely.” He stared at his plate in silence. Contemplating or maybe remembering. His fork stabbed the fish.

“Don't you miss it?”

“A bit maybe but I got used to not having any hair. Now it would have been a nuisance rather than pleasure.” He admitted eyeing my hair.

“It was exactly same colour as yours.”

The chicken piece got forked and stopped mid distance to my mouth.

“You're joking me.”

He shook his head. “Why would I do such a thing?” His mouth stretching into a smirk.

I snorted. The chicken reached its destination. I chewed on it pondering the next question.

“So, elves are known to have no facial hair, right?” He nods. “Does it mean that you don't have hair... like... at all?”

It's his turn to snort. He finishes chewing and takes a sip of his wine. “Oh, you'd like to know? May I ask why you'd like to know this?”

“No particular reason, just curious I guess.”

He licks his lips before stretching them into a devious smile. His eyes crinkle and he answers in almost a whisper. “You may see for yourself if you're _that_ curious...”

I blink and swallow. He's insufferable. His eyes confirm that it is actually a challenge. Will I dare to take him on it? Does he expect me to-  really?

I take a long sip of my own wine while having a staring contest with him.

“I may take you on that offer one day, you know.”

“Then... I will have something to look forward to.”

I blush. Wine doesn't help with the warmth spreading on my face and neck.

“Well then. I have another question if you don't mind.”

“Not at all. I'm actually surprised that you've waited that long to ask them,” he admits. His glass is empty now. He turns it in his hand.

“Ehm... would you mind if I got another one?” He asks sheepishly.

“Not at all. I may get another one as well, in fact. Or maybe we should get a bottle. I don't see myself driving us back home tonight,” I say eyeing the waiter. I order a bottle of the fabulous wine which helps me with dulling my senses to the point where I stop thinking about the scary part of the day.

The bottle arrives and it's served to us. The plates are taken from us.

Solas sits more comfortably and sips his wine.

“I believe you have questions?”

I snigger. No, he did not say _that_. Oh yeah I think he just did. Well, I do have questions.

“So, Skyhold is yours.” He nods. “What was it like coming back there with the Inquisitor?”

“Ah, it was challenging I must admit.” He leans towards me. “It has been some time since I was there, so was unsure of its condition. Also, giving it to Trevelyan was unusual. Convenient but unusual. I would have not wanted for an unknown ally to use it. She was capable of handling it properly at the end, and I was happy about it, or so I thought at the time. I hoped that at least she may restore it.”

“So, you're saying that you were using her for your own goals?”

He shuffled in his seat and had decency to look guilty.

“I guess I was. I hoped to help her, as the Inquisition needed a home base and my castle was suitable enough. And yes, I hoped to have it repaired as well.”

We sit in silence for a few moments eyeing each other. His eyes, calm and thoughtful, are slowly traveling my face.

I shake my head in the end before stating. “You're a complicated man Solas.”

He smiles. “I've never denied it.”

“So... what would you have done if she was not suitable to manage your castle?”

“I guess I would have... found a different solution to the situation-“

“You mean get rid of her,” I interrupt.

“I-I don't know. Luckily, it was unnecessary.” He looks aside.

I sigh and pour us more wine. We're already passed half of the bottle. I'm going to have a hangover tomorrow. For the moment I don't care as it seems to help me with any reservations to ask him more questions.

“Do you think... you're a... monster?”

He stills. His eyes move to the side again for a brief moment. Then he shakes his head.

“No. I don't consider myself a monster. Not yet anyway.” He adds after a while.

We sip the wine.

“Do you think me a monster?” He asks tilting his head.

“No. At least... not yet.” I repeat his earlier phrase.

“Well,” he chuckles, ”good to know.”

We finish the wine. Before I have waved at the waiter to ask for another one Solas grabs my hand and shakes his head. I smile at him, what I think is a sweet smile but he does not buy it.

“I think we had enough for tonight.”

Ok. _I_ may have enough. And it may be time to go to bed anyway.

“Fine, I'll pay the bill and ask for a room.” I agree annoyed with him slightly.

I return to our table after a long moment to find him looking at the menu again.

“You're still hungry?”

He smiles at me. “No. Just wonder what we could have for breakfast.”

Cheeky bastard. His assumptions are correct but it doesn't mean I should let him know. I frown in response and motion him to follow me. We end up on third floor of this small hotel and I fumble with the key for a moment. Once inside I stop in my tracks. Solas stops next to me.

“ _Merde_ , I thought I’ve asked for a double room and not a double bed.”


	8. Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sharing a room for the night is ... well, full of surprises.  
> Also a bit of NSFW.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation:  
> atisha - peace  
> emma lath - my love  
> ma lath - my love  
> isala ma - I need you

“We can manage,” Solas states calmly and enters the room.

He puts our bags on the chair and takes off his jacket.

“I'm taking a shower,” I state as calmly as I can in my current condition. Closing the doors to the bathroom I exhale a long breath. One bed. Damn.

A cool shower helps me to gain some semblance of soberness and I return to the room clothed in my T-shirt and panties. I don't look at him so I miss his eyes roaming my figure and bare legs.

I hide under the cover. And I do the most reliable way of making myself invisible. I close my eyes.

I can hear him moving around and then entering the bathroom. Laying on my side I try to imagine all the possible scenarios of us staying in the same bed. None of them is... well... calming my nerves.

He returns into the room and slips under the cover on the other side of the bed. I can feel him turning around towards me but he's not moving closer. Time is ticking slowly and I find myself lulled into dreaming.

*

“ _Atisha_ you're safe.” I hear his voice whispering in my ear. “Calm down _emma lath._ ”

My breathing is erratic. My head is aching. I try to calm myself down and control my body. I'm floating. I'm running. I fight against the constraints. But there are none. Only the warmth of a body and strong arms holding me close. And yet, I fight.

“ _Emma lath._ Stop it. You're not in danger. I have you. Calm down.” His hot mouth on my ear. “Listen to my voice. Focus on what I'm saying. You're safe _ma lath_. Stop struggling. You're safe.”

I push at him or maybe pull. His arms encircle me to keep me close. I sneak my hands underneath his arms and drag my nails down his bare back. He growls and his body tenses. His nose and mouth move along my cheek, my chin and then towards my throat. I tilt my head to one side to give him an easier access. He shifts on the bed and his thigh lands between my legs. An enjoyable weight of him makes me warm and needy. My body reacts to him of its own accord while I try to fight for control over it.

His hand is no longer poised behind my back but cradle my head so he can continue planting slow kisses along my jaw. His lips make a trail from my ear to the corner of my mouth and back. When his lips reach the tip of my ear and he nibbles it gently I moan shamelessly. His hips rock against me and I can feel his hardness against my thigh. My left hand reaches for his arm and I steady myself before rocking against him. His mouth closes on the skin under my ear. A low needy moan escapes his throat. His hand entangles itself in my hair while he slowly moves his hips.

I moan and he catches the sound with his mouth. He's not shy. His tongue explores my mouth while his hand moves from my hair towards my breast. He palms it through the shirt. If I were not struggling to get my bearings I would have laughed at the tiny appreciative noises he makes.

“ _Ma lath,_ ” he moans into my mouth. “ _Isala ma._ ” A low rumbling growl escapes him. He's hard. Deliciously so.

My leg moves on its own to hitch around his hip. His wandering hand moves from my breast to my outer thigh. He uses the leverage to settle himself comfortably between my legs. He continues rocking his hips and kissing me. Slowly. His long fingers splay on my butt and he squeezes the cheek before bringing it towards him to get more friction.

We both groan at the same time. I possibly whimper as my body arches in pleasure. He stops kissing me as his eyes take me in. Through my half-open eyes, I can see his sinful and swollen lips from all the kissing. The grin on his face is greedy. Hungry for more. Then I look into his eyes which lift up to look into mine.

They are red. Like blood.

I still.

In one swift movement, I push him off of me and scramble away from him. His grin widens. His bloody eyes are still trained on me.

“No!” I shout before my head start pounding again and my vision blurs.

“ _Atisha ma lath!_ ” His voice is so close. I open my eyes to see him looking at me with concern. The familiar blue and grey swirl in them. I exhale slowly although my heart is beating frantically.

“Emily, you're safe. You're safe.” He caresses my forehead with his long fingers then down my cheek.

I notice that his other arm is around me and his right leg between mine. But he keeps his distance.

We stare at each other for a few long moments without saying a word. Then he stops his caresses and leans towards me to plant a chaste kiss on my lips.

It's short and sweet. I swallow and he smiles. His eyes dance with a little mischief. And smugness.

“I-,” I cough and swallow the bile. “What's happened?”

“You were thrashing in your sleep and I tried to calm you down. And-,” he pauses for a moment, “you were moaning my name, so I assume it might not have been a nightmare after all.” His eyes crinkle in the corners.

That bastard.

He's doing this on purpose. I'm sure of it.

I eye him suspiciously while biting the inside of my cheek. His eyes are drawn to my lips again. He leans slowly waiting for my reaction. When I don't push him away or stop him he kisses me. Longer this time. I respond timidly.

He groans suddenly and stops kissing me as he whispers, “ _Emma lath_.”

I freeze.

He moves away noticing my reaction.

“Don't,” I plead.

He sighs. “You know what it means.” More a statement than a question.

“Yes. And I think it may not be wise for us to be... involved.”

He looks at me calmly. His eyes are slow calming tides in the endless ocean. The softness of his touch along my cheek makes me whimper and I struggle to keep it down.

“Emily, if there's any chance for us to be... involved then I'll gladly take it.”

He wants- oh my. He really wants... _this_?

With me. An average girl from another world. Me. With no special talent. Just an odd girl who has issues and does not know herself yet. Who is scared of the outside world as she got broken by her past.

All these thoughts are running through my mind while he keeps caressing my face and giving me the most tender smile.

I know it's not right to do it to him. And myself. I need him to know that.

“I'm sorry, we can't...”

“Why?” His hand stops.

“Because you're going to... _leave_. And it will break my heart if we're... involved.” I reply looking away.

He doesn't say anything for a long moment. I can feel his eyes on me, though. Then a single long finger guides my face to look at him.

“I am willing to accept all the consequences of this decision. I am willing to make every effort to make you happy. I am willing to love you, Emily. And I will not leave you behind unless you decide that's best for you.”

Speechless.

His face and body may not betray his age but at that moment, his eyes are old beyond years. The seriousness of his statement and acceptance are realised in the way he looks at me.

But I can't. I'm a coward and _I_ can't.

“I'm sorry,” I repeat, “I can't.”

He sighs. “Very well. I will not push you.”

I nod before starting disengaging from him. He let me get to the side of the bed before declaring. “I'll wait for you. As long as you need.”

I turn around and see him lying on the bed. Half naked with his arms behind his head. Smirking.

Bastard.

I blush while eyeing his toned stomach and arms. To preserve any last ounce of my dignity I hide in the bathroom. Looking at the mirror I stare at myself. What does he see in me? Why would he be interested in someone like me? Am I special? As I cannot imagine him being with somebody who's not special. All Lavellans were Inquisitors. They were skilled and experienced. He was attracted to them because of the Anchor and then because they loved him. And I'm none of that.

Hiding in the bathroom cannot last forever as we need to leave the hotel. I need to face him at some point. My heart jumps at the sight of him sitting in the chair. His leg is bent at the knee with the ankle lying on the other knee. His chin rests on his right thumb while the rest of the fingers hide the bottom of his face. He's fully dressed and ready to go. The bags are on the bed.

His eyes are tracking my every movement.

“I see you're ready, so let's go,” I declare.

He follows me without a word. We leave the hotel and get back to the car.

During the journey back Solas is quiet. He doesn't play with buttons or the radio. I drive in silence.

I can feel something brewing, though. I can't imagine him being this quiet. I can see him glancing at me from time to time. But he does not talk until we reach the house.

We're greeted by Maya and Steve who talk animatedly outside the house.

“Is everything alright?” I ask getting out of the car.

They look at each other and then Maya says nervously “You have an unexpected guest Miss Emily. I didn't know if it was alright to let her in but... taking into account that she was a guest here before I assumed you would not mind.”

“Who is it, Maya?”

“It's Lisa.”

Ahh, the troublemaker. The worst influence on our group youngest Tom and Yvonne. I sigh. If she's here without announcement then it means she's in trouble.

“It's ok Maya. No harm done. Where is she?”

“I think she is enjoying the swimming pool.”

“She- what?” Oh, my. I just can't with her.

I walk into my house feeling like the last moment of peace is upon me. The hurricane bringing the change has arrived. And I did not mean only Lisa.


	9. Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solas POV. Also NSFW. You have been warned.  
> Happens during the events of Chapter 8.

He groans when he hears the bathroom door clicks shut. She left him on the bed alone. Sprawled and clad only in his underwear.

At that moment, her warmth and touch were what he craved. The tenderness of her lips, the hot breaths on his neck and soft moans in his ear. He groans again.

The sound of running water assures him that she will spend some time in the bathroom. So he allows himself a moment of foolishness since she awoke this kind of desire in him. It has been years if not millennia since he wanted a woman. Needy moans pass through his closed lips as his hand dives in his boxers. He’s hard.

The warmth of his fingers cannot compare to the heat between her legs when he grinded himself against her core.  The sounds she made were tantalizing and he reveled in the thought that he was the source of them.

His fingers caress his length while the thumb touches the head. He moans again thinking about her soft lips and texture of her tongue sneaking into his mouth.  Hot and wet.

Countless women vied for his attention and he took many of them to bed. He gave the pleasure and received it in return. Yet, with time he became less inclined to take any. Never being sure if they wanted him only because of his status among Evanuris. After a while, he took none. He became the Lone Wolf.

Yet, Emily awoke something akin to thirst in him from the moment he passed that mirror. She enticed him to the point where he was ready to reconsider his future. He wanted to finish his mission and to have her. Having them both seemed unachievable.  Almost.

His hips moved upward as he palmed himself rather forcefully. His other hand went to his mouth and he bit down on it to stop the scream of pleasure from leaving his mouth.

She moaned his name without reservation when she was clinging to him desperately. Grinding against him.  Knowing his other name, his past and what he’s done she was still here.

He imagines her under him. Her legs spread to accommodate him and her hands racking his back up and down. His spine aches at the memory.

She was a desire demon incarnated. She ignited a fire he did not want to quench. Her tongue and hot lips trailing along his jaw and his cheek towards his forehead when he bowed his head to devour her neck. The firmness of her breast under his wandering fingers which fits perfectly in his palm. He could remember the hardness of her nipple glaring at him through the thin material. How he wanted to suck on it then.

His teeth bit harder on his hand. The other one is still on his cock going up and down. He is close to completion.

He stops then. He opens his eyes and gets up.

Heaving chest, short breaths and trembling limbs he stands in front of the bathroom door. Leaning on his hands splayed on the doorframe. He wants to push it open and enter. He wants to take her in his arms and kiss her into oblivion until she cries nothing else but his name.  His abandoned cock twitches in his boxers. He’s on the verge. All he needs is a little more of-

No!

He can control himself even if she rends him needy and desperate. He wants more and she does not deserve to be seen only as an object of his sexual desire.

His body disagrees with him at the moment but he reins it in. He calms his racing heart and focus on breathing in and out. Slowly.

Turning away from the door and grabbing the sheets to cover the bed. That is what he focuses on. Also breathing.  In and out.

He ignores the strain in his groin and makes the bed. He kneels on it to reach the other side. A flash of her half-naked body underneath him stops his movements. In a haze he goes to the door again. His forehead meets the cool surface and he swallows the lump in his throat. He wants her. A pleasant shiver runs along his hands braced on the doorframe. As out of his control his left hand goes for the knob. The image of her naked under the shower with droplets of water trailing slowly along the curves of her body does nothing to calm him down. His long fingers grip the knob and start turning it slowly. It would be so easy to get in and-

No!

He unclenches his fingers from the knob and holds them to his mouth to muffle the sound coming out of it. Strangled painful whine. He would be lying to himself if he was to claim that he is in total control of his body and mind at this moment. He might have pretended that he knew what he was doing earlier on although the truth would be more complex. His body was in disagreement with his mind. Against his better judgment he allowed his true feelings to show when he confessed to her. And yet this act freed him a bit of the burden he carried around with him.

With teeth clenched and jaw set almost painfully, he turns toward the bed again. Violently grabs pillows to arrange them on top of the covers. He seethes through his teeth before grabbing a pillow and burying his face in it. A needy whine escapes his mouth but gets muffled by the feathers. His eyes sting with unsheathed tears. He drops the pillow and sits on the bed. Defeated. It is so tempting to submit to his desires. To convince her to stay here. With him.

But to what end? How can he take her without promising all of himself? He admitted he wanted more and he realized it was the truth. He wanted all and everything with her.

He sighs again and stands up ignoring his current state of arousal. Thin layer of frost starts covering his body as he tries to lower his temperature down and concentrate on something else then the woman taking the shower a few feet away from him.

He fishes for his clothes and put them on slowly. His jeans feel uncomfortable to be zipped and he sighs again annoyed at himself. He did not think that through. Another few calming breaths leave his mouth before he bends over to grab their bags from the floor.

In and out.

She's still in the bathroom but the shower stopped running. He looks at himself frantically then puts on the shirt trying to cover himself. The shirt barely ends below his hard-on. She will notice. He puts on the jacket as well. Maybe she will be distracted enough not to notice, he hopes.

Water starts running again and he releases a shaky breath.

He will need to reconsider his plan.

He wants both of the impossible. He does not want to leave her. But he knows he needs to leave.

In and out.

His cock is still half-hard when he finally finishes and sits in the chair. It’s not the most comfortable position but he will manage. He will find the restrain within him.

She is worth it.

The water stops running.

He sighs and glares towards the bathroom door. He rubs his face and head before dropping his chin onto his palm.

In and out. He’s calmed down now. Almost.

The door clicks and she enters the room eyeing the surroundings slowly. Her eyes land on him and she smiles timidly. She looks beautiful and refreshed-

“I see you're ready, so let's go,” she declares resolutely.

He stands up and follows her without a word.  They leave the hotel and she drives them home. The silence in the car is welcomed if not a bit awkward.  The air is bursting with tension. He guesses that she thinks about _them_ too.

He needs time to think tough, so he does not fill the quiet with useless talk.

He needs to find a way. He’ll try. For her.


	10. Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Troubles. Reading. And more trouble on the horizon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translation:  
> emma lath - my love  
> ma lath - my love  
> ir abelas - I'm sorry

“You can’t be serious!” I declare looking at her baffled beyond comprehension.

Lisa looks at me sheepishly. “Well, I didn’t do it on purpose!”

I groan. She’s in trouble. Even more than I thought. She lost her job. The one her brother managed to get for her.

Again.

And this time was supposed to be the last time.

She sits or rather lounges comfortably on my sofa while I sit at my desk scrolling through my emails.

The wheel mouse is making a screeching noise.

“I’ll think of something,” she declares after a while.

The scrolling continues.

“I promise not to be a nuisance,” she adds.

The scrolling stops.

“You can stay here as long as you need Lisa. It’s not a problem,” I reassure her honestly. “I’m only concerned about your future.”

“Well, I always manage to find something. And it’s not like it was my dream job after all...”

“You manage to find something when a friend helps you. _Or_ your brother,” I point out to her.

“I’ll find something, ok?” She pouts.

“Maybe you should reconsider going back to the university?” I muse.

She shots me an incredulous look.

“I've tried that and it didn't work. I can't imagine how you could do it!”

A wash of unpleasant memories comes over me. There was so much linking me to him. Even my education was partially completed thanks to him. I don't want to think about it though as I tend to fall into pieces whenever I do. He still affects me even if we've been divorced for a few years now. I sigh.

“You may not like it but the higher education can open several doors for you. And you may find that you actually going to like something for once.”

“But it's so hard…” Her whining makes me snort.

“Good things in life do not come free. Sometimes you have to fight for them. Make an effort.”

“I know… and that's why I have John. And you!” She replies happily.

I shake my head at her antics. She was a lovely young woman if a little bit too wild for her circumstances. Her brother, John, has been taking care of her for number of years. I guess she was still using her ‘younger sister’ card. When their parents died John became the head of the family at the age of 22 when Lisa was only 14. It was hard for them both to lose the parents like that. I could relate as I lost mine at the age of 18. But I also had help at that time. David. My first boyfriend, my first lover, my first husband. Now, my ex-husband.

The scrolling restarts.

“So, what's the deal between you two?” She asks after a few minutes of silence.

The scrolling continues.

“What do you mean?”

“Well Sam looks at you with such _hunger_ that I am afraid for you,” she purrs.

“Lisa, you read too many trashy romances and not enough proper literature. There’s nothing between me and Sam.” Sam is Solas’ new name. Actually, I came up with Sam Hill. Very creative of me. But he needed a new name, so I picked one for him.

“Yes suuuure, so you wouldn’t mind if I take a go at him?”

Scrolling stops.

“I think you have enough on your plate as it is, don't you?”

She pouts. “It doesn't mean that I cannot have a little bit of fun, right?”

I shake my head slightly distracted as I read through the reply from the professor I contacted regarding Solas. He agreed to a meeting and an interview. So it seems that my little ruse has worked.

I'm reading the email again and don't notice when Solas enters the room. An iPad in his hands. Since he was eager to learn whatever there was about this world and was fascinated by the technology I let him browse the internet on my iPad. Better that than my PC. I had my writing work there and… the Inquisition game. For the understandable reasons I did not want him to put his hands on any of that.

“So, would you mind?” I heard Lisa saying.

My head snap and I reply a bit annoyed at myself as my heart clenches at the thought of him with another. “You could try, doubt you will succeed though…”

A chuckle from the entrance makes me look at the intruder. He stands tall with the smug expression on his face. He looks briefly at Lisa and then approaches me slowly.

“I apologise but it asks for a password.”

I take the iPad from his hands and look at the screen. It clearly asks for my password to be entered. It only happens when I want to buy something though. I frown.

“What are trying to-  oh, really?” I look at him amused. His cheeks and ears start colouring. He clears his throat.

“Well, I hoped I could continue reading them, as they  are… well…”

I cannot resist teasing him.

“So, you want another Harry Potter, “High Heels and Cocktails” and,” I read a short summary, “The Lady and Her Dragon?”

My eyes met his and he's embarrassed. His cheeks are reddish and he bites his lower lip.

“They have an interesting view on… magic.”

“Yes, of course,” I nod.

“Especially, “High Heels and Cocktails!” Lisa interjects while laughing. “I read it. It's quite saucy and sassy if you know what I mean!”

“Yeah, that would be the kind of literature you'd be interested in…” I shake my head at her.

Solas shuffles uncomfortably on his feet.

“Would you…?”

I sigh. “I'll pay for them. They're not that expensive.” I type my password in and tap the download button. Then I pass the iPad to him.

“If that's a lot I will-“ he starts saying only to be interrupted by Lisa.

“She can afford it, don't worry.”

“It's okay,” I assure him and he relaxes, “you can still show your gratitude by doing something for me though.”

He smirks and tilts his head. Maybe I imagine it but his pupils dilate slightly. What is he thinking about?

“What would you have in mind?”

Lisa barks a short laugh. “I bet it's something naughty.”

I shake my head, ”I would love pancakes for breakfast.”

“That's only fair,” he admits. “Any dressing in particular?”

“A lot of whipped cream for me!” Lisa shouts before frowning at her buzzing phone.

“Sorry, I have to take this…” She leaves the room rather quickly.

“And for you _emma lath_?”

“Solas!” I frown and shake my head. “Don't-!”

He tilts his own and grins at me.

I stand up and whisper to him.

“Just don't. Anyway.. I have arranged a meeting with a scientist from one of the universities in London. He agreed to meet with us to talk about the.. well… travelling between dimensions and all that. He agreed to see us on Monday afternoon. So we could go to see him just after Shaun’s exhibition over the weekend. And we'll have enough time to sober up…”

His eyes gleam with joy. His lips stretch to a full smile and my heart flips.

“Thank you _emma lath_.”

“Solas!” I scold him before he plants a quick kiss on my lips.

I want to smack him. Over his head.

“You should know that Lisa may try to… have a go at you,” I say playfully.

“She's already tried. But she’s not the one I’m interested in,” he replies smugly.

“What? When- this morning? When you went on a ride with her?”

“She's very insistent to show me how to drive and was making obvious remarks. I tried to ignore her but,” he shrugs, “she can be blunt I guess.”

“Oh, well. She's a good girl only if a little- wait, she showed you how to drive?”

He nods happily. I look at him in horror.

“Tell me you did not drive on a public road. Please tell me you did not drive at all.”

His smile falters and even before he answers I know I'm going to throttle Lisa.

“It was a short distance and the road was quiet… “ he stops seeing me closing my eyes and balling my fists.

I count to ten to get my ire under control. And then I count to twenty for good measure.

“I know that she can be a bit reckless but you? I didn’t expect that from you, Solas.” He blinks. “If you were caught driving without a driving licence or any kind of ID then what do you think would have happened? There’s no way I would have been able to sort this out. No way to convince others that you are just a travelling photographer we agreed you’d be playing. And if the police would found out-“ I stop myself.

Cool fingers brush my cheek and then tilt my chin to look at him.

“You worry about me _ma lath_. I appreciate th-“

“You don’t understand the situation!” I raise my voice slightly above whisper. “If someone was to find out about you then they would have taken you away and locked you up. Then they would question me and the rest of town. They would have taken the mirror and any other ways for you to go back. And there would have been nothing for you to do about it! Because if it went further up the chain of power even you could not match them!”

He pales at my words. The frown settles between his eyebrows and his eyes reflect the remorse and realisation of the act.

“You’re right. _Ir abelas_. I didn’t think-“

“No, you didn’t,” I agree sourly. “Why do you think I’m cautious about all this? Why do you think I do not go public to help you? Why do- “

I’m interrupted by Lisa storming into the room with her cellphone in her outstretched hand.

“ _You_ talk to him!”

I grab the phone shoved into my hand as she rounds my desk at leans on it in silence. I look at the screen and see the caller’s name.

“Hi John. How are you?”

“Oh, hi Joy. I guess she passed you the phone as she cannot bear to hear the truth?

“You shouted at her, I guess?” I smirk.

“I simply expressed my displeasure at her new circumstances, that’s all.”

“Ah, so you’ve heard.”

“ _Of course_ , I have. How could I not? It was _me_ who got her the job. And it was _me_ who vouched for her on this. And she ... oh well, I shouldn’t be surprised after all.” He replies defeated.

“She’s tried John, don’t be too harsh on her,” I plead seeing Lisa biting her nails nervously.

I hear him sigh and mumble under his breath. “Let her stay with you until you come here on Friday, alright? And… tell her that we’ll figure something out. You’re still coming on Friday right?”

“Yes, we are. And yes she can stay here,” Lisa beams at me now sensing the storm has passed. “And I’ll make sure she’s there for the weekend. So you two can have a chat,“ I add happily and Lisa sticks out her tongue at me.

“Great! Bring this new friend of yours as well, “ John never misses a bit.

“How- nevermind. I will. I bet Shaun cannot wait?”

“He’s getting on my nerves with how much he’s excited and terrified. You need to talk to him when you have a chance.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” I promise before saying final goodbye.

And then I put the phone down on my desk and stare at two troublesome people in the room.


	11. Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You change… everything.” 

Hands. All over me. Slick and cold. Shudders ran through me like freezing lashes. I try to move and find that I’m stuck in a freezing water. Encased in clothes constricting my movements. So I try to peel off the layers of clothes. Grasping at the edges of coarse material only to find that there is no end to them as I pull one layer to the side. I cannot see but I can feel. Them. Encircling me from all sides. Waiting for me to falter and allow them to do as they please. Wrapping the chains of their demands and desires around my ankles and wrists. To bind me to them. To slow me down. To claim me as theirs. 

I shiver again and try to break the deafening silence. When I open my mouth water pours out of it. I cannot raise my voice above the stream of freezing water drowning me. It pulls me into the depths of the dark waters. 

The ghost-boy from the castle beckons to me to follow and I do. He moves so quickly that I can only see flickers of his form from time to time. The shadows try to slow me down. I push at them and surge forward. He leads me to an arena filled with spectators where I stop, suddenly aware of the crowd. Cheering at me. I cannot understand why. I can feel all of them. Their eyes on me and their outstretched hands caressing my form. I scream. I’m terrified but they don’t hurt me. They greet me. The boy walks around me as if assessing and then he laughs. A stream of childish giggles escapes his mouth and the crowd follow his example. They laugh with joy. I cover my ears at the cacophony of their laughter and close my eyes until I hear a powerful wave of a rumbling growl at my back. I turn around. The scenery is gone and I’m alone. Well, not quite. 

A wolf with six glowing eyes like blood. Throttling the people who still stand in his path claiming their lives. He’s followed by mist of dark shapes. Setting sun over the horizon does not end the day. The world is burning. The orange of the fire crackles all around. The sizzling of fat dripping from the meat above the fireplace permeates the air. 

Strong hands around my midriff and hot lips on my neck. Soft murmurs in my ear cause the heat to pool in my belly. _Mine._  

Clink of glasses and the red wine overflows the brims. It does not stop. It drips onto the floor turning into a river of blood. The green mist covers the ground and rises slowly to the sky. Everything is enveloped in it. It colours the air. I cannot breath. That’s the end. The hands are back and they are clawing at me. Dragging me down. I scream. 

A tunnel of light. A whirlpool of blinks and flashes surrounds me. I follow the flow as I’m too weak to fight against it. The shadows follow my every move. I can feel them clinging to me, attaching themselves to my arms and legs, pulling me back towards them. But even they cannot withstand the light. I let it envelop me and then I am blinded by it. I can feel myself expand and stretch and grow. So much that it hurts. But I can manage. I swallow hard as my breathing rate increases. The hands grip my ankles pulling me back and yet the light is relentless and I can feel my body shaking off the chains and their long fingers. The claws mark my body before sliding away. The long ridges of wounds seep with blood; small droplets of them staining my vision. I blink and they are gone. An immense presence pushes against me and I feel warmth envelops me slowly creeping through my cold limbs towards my heart. I panic for a second before a feeling of utter calm and joy claims my heart basking me in the warmth and happiness lulling me to surrender. And I _do_ surrender. I feel peaceful and complete. 

The claws have been left behind, the wounds are sealing slowly and I feel renewed. Whole. I am fine. Yes. 

A hot breath on my neck and warm hands on my back provide comfort. I lean back only to hear a quick breath in my ear and a reverberating growl passing his lips. _Mine._ He looks at me with hunger and desire when I meet his eyes. They are red like blood but I do not recoil. A welcome smile stretches my lips. His reply is blinding as I see his sharp canines appearing from behind his open lips. _Mine_ , he growls again. Then he nuzzles my neck and inhales my scent. Then he bites. Hard. 

I whimper and… 

… wake up. 

A pair of warm hands holds me close. I struggle to free myself and the hands leave me. I move back only to hit the wall behind my bed. When my head hits the wall I wince but my vision clears. A frantic look around finds both of their faces full of worry. Solas and Lisa are on my bed. He’s leaning over me and she’s sitting at the end of the bed worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. The panic dances in her eyes as I look at her questioningly. When she does not reply I glance at Solas who regards me with furrowed brows and thin lips. 

“W-what happened?” I barely can recognise my own voice. 

Solas moves slowly towards me on all four. Only now I notice that he’s wearing the bottom of his PJ. Nothing else. I can see his muscles at work as he moves towards me and kneels at arms-length from me. The light reflects off the vial hanging on a chain around his neck. His abdominal muscles expand when he takes a long breath in. Then out. 

“You were screaming in your sleep _ma lath_. Lisa found you as you were thrashing on the bed, so she went to wake me up. We’ve been trying to calm you down.” 

I glance at her and she’s still worrying her lip. She must be terrified. I find his eyes again. 

“Was I saying anything?” 

He turns his head towards Lisa; a small, almost unnoticeable, movement.  I sigh. He cannot talk about _it_ around her. Well… it means I talked a lot about something I… shouldn’t have? 

“Lot of gibberish, I assume?” I supply hopefully. His eyes crinkle in the corners.  

“Yeah, sure. Nothing _we_ could understand!” She admits quietly. “I know you speak languages but this?” She shakes her head. “This was something completely weird.” 

The silence stretches. 

“Are you’re alright?” She asks. I nod. 

“I think I need a drink. A strong one,“ she declares before getting up and moving towards the door. “You may want one as well, so I’m going to chill the wine,” she adds after a moment before disappearing from sight. 

A warm hand touches my cheek and then guides me to look at him. 

“ _Ma lath_ , do you remember what you saw?” 

I wish I could say no but that would be a lie. I remember every detail and the feeling of utter disgust and helplessness against the creatures. Also the feeling of warmth and happiness and the light. I sigh. Will I tell him? Should I tell him? I’m unsure. 

So I study him silently as he looks at me with quietness I witnessed so many times before. He’s pondering something all the while assessing me with his stormy-blue eyes. His thumb caresses my chin and lower lip. I can feel gentle pulses of magic from his fingers seeping into the places he touches. It's calming me. I sigh again but this time because of the feeling of him being so close. I am trying to resist him suspecting that it may be a lost battle. 

“Anything?” He prompts. 

“I remember, Solas. It’s just… I may not be inclined to discuss it at the moment,” I admit and he looks to the side. 

“You spoke… Elvhen, Emily. The _old_ kind. My language. Like the people in Alrathan. Not Dalish kind. You were describing the city as it once was as if you were there. Talking about some events even I did not witness,“ he shakes his head in disbelief. My eyes go wide.  

“Then you were recounting the battles I watched in the Fade. All in perfect Elven,” he adds in wonder meeting my eyes finally. I can see they glisten with tears. He sighs and drops his hand to his side. 

“I was- speaking Elven?” I ask barely above a whisper. 

He nods. 

I shudder. How is that even possible? Now, I definitely need a drink. 

“Was I really shouting?” 

“Yes, in between the recounting of places and people. You were trying to get away from something or someone. You pleaded to be released and left alone. You were fighting me as I was trying to calm you down,” he shows me the reddish marks on his arms and forearms. It seems I used my fingernails on him. A lot. I look at them in disbelief. 

I was fighting Solas again. It’s not the first nightmare I had since he came through that mirror. Coincidence? Did he have to do anything with them? I saw him with glowing red eyes. Twice now. I sigh again. 

He sits down next to me. His legs bent at knees and hands on bed at the  sides. Our arms touch lightly. 

“I thought I have seen it all. That there was little that could have surprised me to the extent of losing my understanding. Until I have met you, Emily. You are a wonder, a constant source of surprise to me. Whenever something strange happens to you I cannot explain it.” He shakes his head eyeing me from the side. 

I continue admiring his profile. 

“You have challenged me in ways I have not anticipated. The things you do, say and – ahh… the way you make me feel are beyond my comfort.”  

We are silent for a few heart beats, and then he continues. 

“I love that about you though. Every little thing. You entice me in ways I cannot comprehend and I want more. All of it.” 

“I thought with age I’d be more experienced in these matters. I would know what to do and how to behave. But I guess that… _loving someone_ is different. There is no clever explanation to it, no reasoning, no fanfare. It comes to you slowly, creeping up you back in slow and steady pace and before you realise you are drown in it...” 

“Is that how you feel about me?” I ask after a heart-beat. 

“Yes. You change… _everything._ ” 

My breath hitches and my heart pounds loudly in my chest. I’m sure he can hear it too. 

“All the wisdom I have gained throughout the years has never shielded me from making mistakes. The small ones and the more … disastrous ones. But you.. I will never regret loving you _ma lath_. Ever.” 

“Why are you telling me this?” 

“Because I have realised that for all the things you know about me, I have not told you how I feel about you. How you changed me. The way you change my perception of the world. And I want you to trust me, to know me, to understand me, and to accept me.” 

I am speechless again. He has a way with words. Bastard. 

“I am not a person who trusts easily, Solas.” I start hesitantly. I may not want to discuss the nightmare yet but I may want to explain myself to him a bit more. He’s willing to listen, so I gather the courage to talk to him. 

“My past is… troublesome,” I start after a short break. He eyes me curiously. “When I was younger I trusted some people implicitly only to be hurt and betrayed by them. To the point where there was no one I could turn to. I was alone and I thought I would never get up again. But then I met some new people who taught me how to trust people again. Slowly, just by taking small steps. John is one of them. He allowed me to distrust him for a long time before I realised that he meant what he said the first time we met. He wanted to be my friend because I needed to have at least one in my life. Everybody needs a friend, someone they can trust. Now, I don’t know where I would be without them.” 

I cover his hand with mine and he intertwines our fingers. I notice the corner of his mouth lifts slightly. 

“I trust you, Solas. I may not know you as well as I think but I still trust you,” I admit quietly. He brings my hand to his lips and places small kisses along my knuckles. The action alone makes me smile but it intensifies when I catch a light dancing in his eyes. I can feel his magic pouring onto my hand and climbing up to my arm where it slowly spreads onto the rest of my body. It feels so good. 

“My life was dictated by the expectations of other people. They steered me towards the goals they wanted me to achieve. First my parents then David then my so-called friends. I thought I could be happy by fulfilling their dreams for me. I was wrong. I couldn’t be happy as their dreams were not mine. I realised it when it was almost too late.  And then John happened, when I was down and did not know where to turn to. He helped me to get up, sort out my problems and get through the shitty chapter of my life. He’s the best friend I have...” I focused on our hands and the slow motions of his thumb along my knuckles.  

“I’ve been curious, if you don’t mind me asking, how did you end up living here? I know you inherited the house from your aunt but-?” he left the question hanging. 

“She was my mother’s sister. The elder one. I did not see much of her as my mum did not agree with her on many things. But she allowed me to spend my summer holiday here. I was staying for several weeks here and playing with the neighbours. They were the best summers I had. Then I grew up and after my parents passed away and me going into university and having my own life I guess I did not visited my aunt much. She came to see me in London. Once. And I did not see her at all after that. Only to be informed by her solicitors of her passing away. “ 

“So, you have no inclination of how she acquired the mirror?” 

I shake my head. “No, no idea.” 

“Ahh.” 

He looks at me then. No more side glances but a full frontal view. I cannot decipher what goes through his mind when he studies me so quietly. But I let him.  

“Who’s David?” He asks suddenly. 

I bite the inside of my cheek. Well, he will learn about _him_ someday maybe it is better that he hears about it from me. 

“He’s my ex-husband,” I reply with a sigh. He’s taken aback. His thumb stops caressing my hand. He’s afraid? Surprised? Repulsed?  

“Ahh,” his thumb restarts the caresses and I let a shaky breath out. Was I anxious to know of his reaction? Probably. He’s still looking at me. 

“You said ex-husband, meaning, you’re no longer married to him?” 

“We are divorced for quite a few years now. Actually that’s how I met John. He helped to find a good lawyer and get a divorce. He’s been supporting me the whole time. And that’s how I met his sister, Lisa.” I inclined my head towards the kitchen where I suspected the charming girl was drinking my wine. Unsupervised. 

“Ahh,” he said again. 

“That’s all you have to say? Ahh?” I ask sarcastically. 

He smirked but said nothing. 

“No questions then?” I nudged him a bit. 

“No,” he shook his head. “When you’re ready you’ll tell me yourself. I trust you, remember?” He eyes me for a moment before moving closer and planting a kiss on my lips. 

“Solas!” I exclaim annoyed at his little games. A bit. A very tiny bit. 

“Yes, _ma lath_?” laughter dancing in his eyes. 

I grunt. “Let’s check on Lisa. I suspect she has drowned herself in wine by now,” I declare pulling him with me out of bed and towards the door.  

“Of course, a glass of wine would be appreciated. Just let me… put some more clothes on.” He starts for his room. 

“Oh, I don’t know. I really don’t mind ogling you for a bit longer,” I admit teasingly. 

His eyes darken and he let his smirk reappear on his lips. “Is that so? Then maybe I should… “ he pauses for a moment eyeing my shorts and a t-shirt with monkeys, “discard the pants as well?” 

I gulp as I feel the heat spreading on my cheeks. He laughs seeing it and goes to his room. I stand in the hallway and count to ten to collect myself. 

 _What’s wrong with me? One minute I tell him to stop and the next I tease him?_ I grunt again. 

When he reappears wearing also the top part of the PJ we go to the kitchen only to find Lisa on the second bottle of rosé. 

“Well... _that_ took you long enough!” she greets us up smiling widely.


	12. Twelve.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In another world...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translations:
> 
> ma lath - my love  
> emma lath - my love  
> vhenan - (my) heart

“Maybe you should go for someone... _less_ problematic?” she purrs. 

“What makes you think I prefer less problematic?” he asks in return. 

“Well,” she pauses, “you never know until you’ve tried the _less_ problematic, right?” 

I can hear the clicks of her heels moving around. 

_She stops in front of him. Too close. Way too close for his liking. Yet he lets her._ _He does not stop her when she turns her head to the side and drags her slightly parted lips against his own. Her hot breaths against his mouth entice him and he growls under his breath. She takes it as an invitation and closes the distance between their bodies. Her lips part and he plunges his tongue in her mouth._  

“I must decline, I’m afraid. As flattered as I may be, I only desire one woman in this house,” his voice is strong and carries through the mist in my mind.  

W-what just happened? I breathe hard as I try to collect myself. Did they-? 

“Alright,” she pauses, “I had to test my theory. Just be careful with her and don’t expect too much.”  

“What do you mean?” he asks intrigued. 

I am leaning on the kitchen doorframe listening to their conversation through the closed door. I’m not eavesdropping. Not at all. 

“Well, you know, after David and all… she’s been through enough, so I wouldn’t expect her to jump right into your arms…” 

“Ahh.” 

“You know about David, right?” She asks. I cannot hear his reply. Or maybe he doesn't reply at all. 

“Did you know him?” Another of her questions. 

I push the door open and walk in to see Solas standing against the counter with his arms crossed on his chest. Lisa munches on the grapes standing on the opposite side of the island. 

“Then maybe you should ask her…” she suggests with a slight smile and winking at me she leaves for the living room. 

Solas is eyeing me silently. I move around and put the kettle on. I need some tea. A calming one. I don’t know what I saw but it was not- real? But I could swear I saw them kissing! I grunt frustrated. 

“Is everything alright, _emma_ _lath_?” His voice shakes me to the core. 

How could he? After all he said- ? But she was not even next to him, so how could they- ? And her lipstick was perfect and he is- ? Argh! I grunt again. 

When I feel a warm touch on my shoulder blade I snap. I turn around and bark at him. 

“Don’t touch me!” 

He raises his hands in surrender and hurt shows in his eyes. 

I focus on him intently. How could he do that? After declaring that he cared for me? How could they- ? I stare at him and he remains quiet. 

_I move forward and launch myself at him. Grabbing his shirt I pull him towards me and kiss him desperately. His resistance only last a moment before his arms encircle me and he deepens the kiss. I am not gentle_ _and neither is he_ _. Ou_ _r_ _tongue_ _s_ _meet_ _and the_ _k_ _iss if full of teeth_ _and heavy pants. His hands move_ _to_ _my hips and drag me flush against him. He moans at the contact._  

The kettle chimes. I blink and look at Solas.  

He’s still standing a few paces from me. His hands raised in front of him defensively. 

I blink again. I’m losing it. Oh my god, I’m losing my mind. 

I did not kiss him a moment ago and yet I can feel the taste of his tongue in my mouth. 

I turn away from him and hang my head. Tears are pooling in my eyes and I will them to stop from dropping on the counter. I’m losing this fight as well. 

Warm arms encircle me tenderly. His breath is on my neck when he asks quietly, “What’s wrong, _m_ _a_ _lath_?” 

The tame breaks and I don’t hold back. I'm a mess. I sob and he keeps holding me whispering soft nothings into my ear. At some point he turns me around and tucks my head under his chin. I sob into his shirt and he let me. 

Tears falling down on his shirt soak it through but I can't stop myself. Do I know why I'm crying? I guess that all the pent up emotions are finally breaking down my walls. My restrain is filled up to the brim and the thought of losing myself to the darkness again cuts through it. And I can't stop. I'm not strong enough to pretend I'm not affected by the recent events. The visions, the ghostly appearances, the nightmares and the memories they bring are hard to ignore. Even Solas brings more of the bad; trusting someone, being used and betrayed, then left alone with nowhere to go. Lost and lonely. I try my best to not compare him to David but in the back of my mind I can hear the warning bells. Somehow I need to find an anchor to keep me at bay; something to help me to take a breath and look at myself from a new perspective. 

His left hand travels down my back and stops at my waist. I can feel him pouring his magic into me through his splayed fingers. His right hand holds my head to him and the tips of his fingers massage my scalp. The slow and steady beats of his heart calm me down eventually and after a long while my tears stop flowing.  

I turn my head to look at him and my chin meets his collarbone. Here's to the height difference! He observes me quietly while his eyes trail paths on my face. 

_This is ridiculous. They did not kiss. I don't know what_ _I thought_ _I saw but it was not real._ His hands travel to my face around my eyes and cheeks. I can feel the puffiness and redness washing away with his touch. 

“Thank you, Solas. I needed  this.” 

He smiles gently before kissing my lips. The kiss is slow and tender. His mouth nips at my upper lip and then his tongue licks the bottom one asking for entrance. I moan into the kiss and he uses the opportunity to sneak his tongue into my mouth. His groan reverberates through him and I feel warmth spreading down to my core. His left hand, moves from my back to the lower regions and he presses it more firmly to my body. He groans again before pulling away to look at me through half-lidded eyes. 

“ _Ma lath,_ ” he whispers breathlessly, “anytime.” 

I smile at him and he kisses me again. Slowly. Deliberate slow movements of his skilful tongue make me moan again. He smiles into the kiss. 

“You like kissing me, don't you?” I ask against his mouth. 

He chuckles. “Very much so. And I will use every opportunity to do it, if you let me.” 

“And if I don't?” 

He drags his nose and mouth along my jaw and cheek towards my ear. “Then I will find a way to convince you to let me.” He nibs my ear playfully. 

“Solas,” I moan and arch against him. It feels so good and I want to give in. To him. To us. 

His hands at my back go even lower and he squeezes my bottom. A slow appreciating rumble leaves his mouth trailing kisses along my jaw. 

“You're horrible,” I inform him, “first magic and now this.” 

“Hmm?” He stops his kisses to look at me questioningly. 

“You've been using your magic on me,” I repeat to him moving my hands to his back, “it's hardly fair but you don't hear me complaining.” 

His brows furrow. 

“You shouldn't be able to feel it though…” he declares. “Without you being magically inclined you shouldn't-“ he stops himself and his eyes widen. He regards me with curiosity and intensity I've not seen on him yet. 

“Well, there's only one way to find out,” he declares after a moment then proceeds to release me from his arms. 

“Sit,” he points to the bar stool. His hands hovering at my sides emanate tendrils of magic which pours slowly from him chilling me slightly. I shiver. 

“Solas,” I whine. “It's making me cold.” To which he smiles. Then I feel the pleasant warmth spreading around my body and I smile humming appreciatively. 

He nods. Then nothing. 

“I cannot feel anything now,” my pouting makes him chuckle. 

“It's because I'm not doing anything now,” he announces happily. 

For a few next moments I cannot feel anything. His head tilts to one side and his eyes observe me intently. And then I can feel a very light brush of his magic against my skin. It brings a pleasant shiver trailing from my neck down my spine. I hum and his eyes widen. 

“Impossible,” he whispers. His hands drop to his sides and he stares at me in silence. 

“What?” I look at him smiling happily. 

“You surprise me again… It was the most subtle spell I used and yet you… felt it,” he gasps. “You shouldn't be able to feel it at all.” 

He shakes his head and then steps between my knees and embraces me whispering in my hair. 

“ _Emma lath_ , what are you?” 

“Just an odd girl in a strange world,” I mumble into his chest. 

Being held by him while his hands caress my back is pleasant. He's warm and solid. I can feel subtle vibrations of his voice while he whispers into my hair. I don't know what he's saying and I don't mind. I let him ponder the mystery of “me” as I eye the iPad on the kitchen island. 

“Have you read all the books yet?” 

“Mhm? No, not yet. I'm almost at the end of them though,” he admits. 

“Have you finished ‘High Heels’ though?” I ask teasingly. 

“Yes, I have.” 

“Why would you read a book of this kind?” 

“Well… to learn or rather remind myself of-  ahh… things…” He fumbles for words. 

“Remind yourself of what exact- oh, I see,” I snort. “You think you've forgotten how to do _it_?” 

He sighs and furrows his brows in disapproval. “I have not forgotten. It's just I want to learn how it's done… here.” 

“Here? You're planning on- “ Recognition dawns on me and my cheeks start turning red. A knowing smirk appears on his face. 

“Surprised, _ma lath_?” 

“Well,” I clear my throat suddenly dry, “I would have expected you to go for something more... sophisticated than a trashy romance, that's all.” 

“I've read whatever I could find in your library. These 'trashy romances', as you call them, seemed like a… an interesting alternative to the more sophisticated books on the subject.” 

“Solas, do you _really_ need to read them?” 

“I want to learn how to court you, love.” 

I look at him surprised. He's serious. Like really _really_ serious. 

“You want to court me? Why?” 

“To know you better. To learn what you like and dislike; what makes you smile and laugh. How else am I supposed to learn about you if not by spending my time with you? And I want to show you affection and be good at it. I want to convince you that I do care about you.” 

“But… you've already declared that you… well-“ I bite my lip. 

“So? Shall I stop showing you that I care after I’ve declared it?” He shakes his head. “No. I'm planning on courting you till the end of time. As long as we have, _ma lath_.” 

“Then maybe… Danielle Steel is a better choice,” I grunt into his shirt all hot and flustered. 

“Ah yes. I have read some of hers as well,” he replies smugly. “The variety of literature gives me more ideas of what to do. After all, I'm planning on being nothing but thorough. You'll see,” he smiles when he bends down and kisses me gently. I sigh into the kiss. He hums. 

“Well, since we established the reason for your reading of sassy books maybe you'd like to speed up on the magic ones?” I ask innocently. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Maybe you'd prefer to watch the films? I mean the Harry Potter ones?” 

“They made films of the books?” 

“Yes. Very successful ones. We could watch the first one if you'd like,” I look at him while he observes me with a strange expression on his face. I cannot decide whether it's surprise or disbelief. He hums approvingly after a few moments of silence which I take as a 'yes' and proceed to the living room.  

Lisa is nowhere in sight. What she's up to I have no idea but hopefully she'll behave tonight. I wish she’d grow up and become less of a burden to John. One day, hopefully.  

I find 'Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone' film on Netflix and sit down comfortably with Solas at my side. His arm is around me and he plants a quick kiss to my temple before the film starts. I smile. 

During the show he makes a few comments. Mostly about the way the magic is explained or shown. Also, he compares it to the book. He read it. Oh yes. I except his remarks with a hum or a touch to his hand. He lifts my hand briefly to his lips to plant a small kiss to my knuckles from time to time. I can see that he enjoys the show. He smiles and leans forward during the match scenes. Also when Voldemort is mentioned. I've seen him watching films before and I realise that this time he enjoys it a lot. I think he may be fascinated by the possibilities of incorporating magic and technology. I would not want to give him more ideas though. 

The film is fascinating and all but as I've watched it before I know what comes next. So, instead, I study him. He smirks a couple of times catching my gaze following the planes of his face and figure. I think he enjoys the fact that I find him attractive. At least he doesn't mind it at all.  

At some point he drags me to him at kiss me soundly. Then he chuckles and returns to paying attention to the screen. I guess I asked for this kiss by staring at him too much. We're at the end of the show and I wait for the credits to roll before speaking to him again though. 

“Solas, you can't just casually kiss me like that!” 

“Why not? It's not like you really have something against it. You wouldn't be encouraging me if you did.” He replies, eyeing me with laughter on his lips. His hand sneaks behind my ear towards my neck. “You may complain loudly and on occasion but I think you truly enjoy this as much as I do,” he states before his lips touch mine again. The kiss is slow and exploring. He has the upper hand again and he knows it. I don't stop him when he moves forward, hovering over me, so I have no other choice but to lay down on the sofa and let him kiss me. His hands are moving from my face to my arms as  he trails slow kisses along my neck. He also hums appreciatively whenever my breath hitches. I can feel him moving up and his thigh ends up between my legs; he's close, barely any space between our bodies. 

“Solas,” I moan his name, which only encourages him to pay more attention to the juncture between my neck and shoulder. Bastard. 

I want him to stop and to continue at the same time. I know it's not easy for either of us to stop now; it seems that we passed the point of pretending we can stay away from each other. When I arch against him I can feel that he finds his current occupation very arousing. He's hard. Oh, I remember how it ended the last time we were in a similar situation. It almost undid both of us. Am I willing to get to the end? Or do I want to tease ourselves and be frustrated for the night? 

“Solas?” My tone makes him stop. His pupils are dilated and his breathing short when he answers me. 

“Yes, _ma lath_?” 

“We need-“ I stop unsure of what exactly I want to say. 

He smiles encouragingly, his eyes scanning my face with such tenderness that I want to cry. I swallow the bile and try again. 

“Maybe we should- slow down or something?” 

“Is that what you want?” His question becomes ambiguous with the roll of his hips. We both moan, his mouth catches the sound. And the next; as he is, it seems, inclined to continue torturing me with pleasure. The next few minutes is full of soft moans and languish kisses. He position himself more comfortably between my legs and continues rocking against me. The clothes only add to the frictions. 

“You're delicious,” he whispers into my ear. “ I cannot have enough of you,” another sigh against my cheek. “I want to taste every inch of your body.” His tongue sneaks into my mouth and he growls, his hips press harder against my core. I rock back and feel his hand sneak behind my back to squeeze my bottom. More rocking and moaning. This is seriously getting hotter every moment we continue but I can't find any strength to stop myself. Or him. 

His kisses move to the breach between my collar bones and his tongue dances in small circles. Then he goes lower to end up between my breasts as far as my T-shirt allows. He's humming against my skin which combined with his constant rocking does little to douse the flames. I want him. I'm panting. Probably dishevelled and red faced and breathless but I want him. He's not in a better state when he stops for a moment to take a look at me. The blue of his eyes is almost covered by the dark. He's panting as well. 

“You're like a dream come true, Emily. A vision, the deepest fantasy of a lonely and foolish man.” 

“Hmm.. you think I'm a dream?” He smiles in reply. 

I gulp. No, this is not- 

_… in another world…_  

_.._ _vhenan_ _.._  

“You don't think this is real,” I state more than ask. The realisation catches me unprepared and I'm speechless for a few long moments when we eye each other in silence. 

“You don't think I'm real. That's all I am to you. A dream?” I whisper. 

“You are- well… it's hard to explain,” he admits still panting. 

_… in another world…_ This _is_ another world to him. It's not his own. He's free of any obligations and duties and as long as stays here he can pretend- 

“No, it's not. Either you believe I'm real or you don't!” 

“It's more complicated-“ 

“Do you think this world is _real_ , Solas?” 

“I… am… unsure,” he admits moving his gaze to the side. He's still hovering over me, our hips connected and the heat still pools between our bodies. But something has changed. And I can't- 

When I push on his shoulders he allows to be pushed away, he catches my arms and try to coerce me to stay but I won't. Not like _this_ , not when he doesn't consider _this_ being _real_. I stand up eventually and stop before him, eyes full of tears threatening to roll down my cheeks. 

“You're unsure and yet you continue?” I hiss.  

He swallows. 

“I don't want to be anybody's fantasy. I want to be their reality. But it seems I'm definitely not yours, Solas!” 

With that I leave.


	13. Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mirror mirror on the wall.

“Emily, I'm sorry but you need to see this,” he whispers to me while kissing my cheek to wake me up.

“W-what is it?” I stir after a restless night. Or half a night as it's still dark outside.

“The mirror… it's activated and I'm sure you’d like to see that for yourself,” he admits caressing my face.

I slowly drag myself out of bed and he guides me to his room. Hand in hand we cross the threshold and I stare blank at the humming mirror. He closes the door.

The fascinating object is making watery noises; slow sloshing of water-like liquid pulsates in tiny waves. It illuminates the room with multitude of colours; the lights dance across the furniture and walls bathing the surroundings and us in eerie shades of blue, green and pink.

“I have tested it with my magic but nothing works,” he admits. He's still holding my hand and I let him. My first thought is about losing him. I could lose him this very moment if that damn mirror would work and I would not see him again. Ever. The truth hits me hard; I stand and stare and try to not freak out at my own thoughts. What do I want then? For him to stay or to leave? For us to be together or not? He's an elf, a very powerful mage on top of that, from another world, which should not exist and I want-  what exactly do I want?

I drop his hand unwillingly and approach the humming object. It pulsates in small intervals. The effect is kind of magical, pardon the pun, but the mirror is filled with magic, he confirmed that. I touch the glass and the tendrils of light envelope my hand up to my arm. The warmth flows from the fingers to my arm in slow pace and I can see tiny flickers of energy moving up my arm.

“What do you feel?” Solas asks breathlessly, standing just behind me; I can feel his body heat. He observes my interaction probably baffled by the response.

Before I have a chance to answer I feel a stronger jolt of energy jumping from the mirror to my arm and I pull my hand away.

“Ouch!” I hiss as my arm aches now. His hands are momentarily on it to examine my limb closely.

“What was that?” I ask, eyeing the mirror suspiciously.

“A bit of magic, I assume,” he declares. “Are you alright?”

I nod still tingling from the jolt.

“I suspect that someone found a way to activate an _eluvian_ connected to this one but cannot get it to work properly without the correct password,” he explains calmly while his magic tests my arm.

“You mean the new one or you're still using _Fen’Harel enansal_?”

The look of utter surprise on his face is worth a million pounds. He stares at me totally speechless and I can't help myself but to laugh.

“How- I mean what- does _everybody_ know?” He manages to ask eventually.

“Oh, I don't know the _exact_ numbers but I believe the majority of people who played the game would know that,” he cringes at the word ‘game’.

“Then I believe it's imperative I change it,” he declares.

“To what?”

He answers in Elven. My brow hitches and he repeats it. Slower.

“What does it mean?” I scoff.

He chuckles and shakes his head.

“I bet it's something completely inappropriate.”

“I believe you'd be correct in your assumption,” his eyes crinkle in the corners at the admission.

I pout and look back to the happily humming mirror. It's still emanating the energy or magic or whatever.

“Can you communicate with whoever or whatever is on the other side?”

“No,” he shakes his head. “It seems that we can see the mirror partially working but there is no real connection between here and there. I don't know what else I can do,” he explains, sadness colours his voice.

“Will your new password work on this one though?”

“I have not changed it yet and... I've already tried,” he admits sheepishly. “I have run every possible test I know to establish the connection or at least augment the energy needed to fully active it. Still, nothing works.” He sighs. “I think I’m missing something here… a key of some kind,” his eyes move to the mirror and he looks at it pondering.

The sloshing sound diminishes and the light starts to subside. He sighs again. After a few more pulses the mirror goes dark. So does the room. I look at the elf and am taken aback by the glow of his eyes. Damn, elven eyes really do glow in the dark.

“I did not intent on frightening you,” he whispers and a soft light appears above his open palm. I look at it fascinated and, of course, reach out to touch it. I do not notice his lips stretching into a smile. My hand moves around and through the light and it tingles me slightly. I smile before meeting his eyes. We both grin. This is silly.

I clear my throat and step away from him; my arm slips from his gentle grasp. His smile falls a bit. He reaches out to me.

“Stay, please.”

“It’s-…” I sigh, “better if I go.”

His eyes drop as well as his smile and his hands. The light is still hovering in the air and I follow it with my eyes. I feel the back of his hand on my cheek.

“Stay with me,” he breathes. The need in his eyes is evident and yet… I can’t.

I shake my head and quietly leave the room.

After umpteenth attempt to convince myself to fall asleep, I give up. The cover lands on the floor and I make a trip to the kitchen planning on making myself a nice cup of tea.

I spot him sitting at the counter the moment I cross the threshold and my step falters. I did not expect him to be here.

His head is buried in the iPad. He’s looking at something intently and yet my soft steps make him raise his head. Sorrow and pain fill his eyes; his jaw is tense and lips hardened into a line.

I blink and then cross the floor towards the kettle. Flick it on.

“Did you know?” his soft question breaks the silence.

I turn around. “Did I know what exactly?”

“About…” his eyes return to the iPad.  The silence stretches for a few minutes. The kettle chimes. Since he does not continue I proceed with my tea. Whatever goes through his mind troubles him but I’m sure he will share it once he’s ready to do it.

I play with the tea bag when he restarts.

“Lately, I have been thinking a lot about the future. If I need to be there for it to happen. The world continued when I was … asleep and it will continue even without me. People always will live, die, and fight; they will struggle and make progress. But… do I need to be there to push them? To help them? To force the change?”

I turn around and observe him in silence. He looks at the walls following a pattern known to himself.

“I could be happy here. I could try to-  well, try is a good word as any, to make it my life. Without war and constant struggling; having some decent future, having something to look forward to. Not having to worry about tomorrow; about hiding or trying to preserve what I can of the past.”

He looks at me then.

“I could convince you that I truly love you; build a life with you. Forget about the past and live here, happily.”

I gulp and swallow a big chunk in my throat. I repeat several times as the meaning of his words unfolds in my mind.

“You c-can’t…” I rasp.

“Why not?” He shrugs. “I have done my part to the Elven people. The ones who stayed are not… well, do they even _need_ my guidance? It seems that I am not the best example to follow. It seems I make terrible decisions even if they are made with their best interests at heart. I can’t – “ he sighs and lowers his head. “Maybe _I_ am in need of guidance instead. Maybe _I_ am who needs to be steered towards a better future. Maybe _I_ need to be selfish for once.”

“Duty and people were my priorities in the past. I thought that as long as I was true to them I would make a difference, I would guide the Elven people towards better future. And look what happened. I destroyed them instead. I destroyed their homes and their lives and their futures. They are nothing but shadows of what they could have been. They are nothing but memories of what Elven could be and I –“ he chokes on his words.

It seems he was ready to talk now of whatever plagued his mind. Wow. I did not expect that though. What shall I say to him? That he was right; that he was wrong? I am unsure, so I stay rooted in my safe-kettle-harbour corner and let him vent.

“How did _this_ even happen? Why did they forget who help them? _Who_ made them forget and twist the history? Why do they think I am the big bad wolf while others are glorified deities? Why my name was twisted so many times it is barely recognisable?” He moves his hand over his scalp and face. He looks defeated.

“I do not think I have a place among them anymore; I am like a relic of the past. Unchanging and struggling to accept the changes around me. Maybe I should be locked away like the others.”

“But… should you not bring the Veil down to restore the magic?” I ask quietly.

“The Veil is going down on its own. It’s just a matter of time.”

“What?”

He turns in his seat and looks at me for a few long moments. Then he sighs.

“A matter of time. And time is running out for the Veil. It has been weakened by constant fighting and deaths. Those Elven artifacts the Inquisitor was kind enough to activate are anchors. Once I have enough of them activated they will serve as controlling points to bring down the Veil once and for all. I will be able to manipulate it and control it. If I am not there it will break down in different places creating rifts and holes which guarantee more spirits turned demons to cross. The magic will pour into Thedas like a heat-wave; with nobody to control it. But the Veil will go down, that is the fact.”

I gasp. It cannot be. If I knew I would have not activated those damn artifacts! Oh, wait, it wasn’t me. Or even better; it was only a _game_ , not a frickingly real world and future of thousands- . I gasp again at my own thoughts.

Solas studies my face in silence.

“You have to be there then. You have to go back.” I say decisively.

“Why? I may be completely incorrect in my assumptions of the future. It happened in the past.”

“Don’t joke about it! There are thousands who need to be spared such future. If you could do it in a more controlled way why wouldn’t you?”

“Do you consider Thedas a real world then?”

“I –“ I blink. He raises his brow and tilts his head. “Well –“ I sigh.

“Then maybe you better understand why I have trouble to accept _your world_ to be real.”

I frown. Touché. He’s right. I expected him to accept everything here as real but I did not consider his world, Thedas, to be real. Merde. I guess Earth is as much a fantasy to him as Thedas is to me.

But if his fantasy can be the reality and my reality a fantasy then – well.

“So, did you know?” He returns to his earlier question.

“What?” I try to school my face into something normal.

“About… a possibility of me… falling for … an elf Inquisitor.” He looks straight into my eyes. No blinking. It’s unnerving.

“Ah,” I look to the side.

“Ah,” he mimics; his fingers tap the counter. Then silence. I can feel his gaze on me.

“So, you knew. Evidently. Is this what stops you from trusting me?”

My head snaps. “What? No!”

He tilts his head contemplating his next words. “You are afraid I am going to leave you behind,” his voice is calm when he says it and yet I can feel he struggles to maintain the calm. “You are afraid I will take your heart and break it by leaving,” he stands up and walks to me in slow measured steps.

My heart pounds loudly. My breath hitches and I swallow again. He’s right. I’m afraid exactly of that. Him leaving me. It hits me with double force; as recognition and acceptance.

“I have told you I would leave you only if you decided it was the best for you. I have yet to hear your reasoning,” he stands just a few inches from me. His eyes are stormy and his eyebrows hang low over his eyes. He looks threatening at this moment.

“You loved her and yet you left her,” I can hear myself saying to him. Why did I say that?

“How do you know I did not come back for her after a week, a month or a year?” He asks hissing.

“Well, the game doesn’t confirm it but…”

“Well, the _game_ is not _me_. And the _game_ made you think _I_ would leave _my own heart_ behind,” there’s anger in his eyes. “Why would I do that?”

“Well, you did!”

“I did not!” His lips inch towards mine. “Because I did not meet her; because I did not fall in love with her; because I did not break her heart!  You based your assumptions about my behaviour on the actions I did not take!”

I can feel his breath fanning my face, his eyes scanning my features and his nose wrinkling as he tries to calm down.

“Thus, you will need to find a better reason for me to consider leaving you behind, _vhenan_ ,” he declares inching away from me. “This reasoning is not valid for me,” his fingers grab my chin in hard embrace. “You need to try harder.”

 He drops his hand and then turns away to leave.

“Solas,” I choke when he’s almost at the door.

He looks over his shoulder at me. “Goodnight, _vhenan_.” He ends the conversation, leaving me on my own.

My tea is cold. Just like my bare feet. But my heart is blooming.


	14. Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patience is a virtue. Apparently.

“I think you're right,” John agrees with Shaun eyeing Solas.

“I'm always right,” Shaun sniggers, pride in his voice.

Solas is standing before a set of huge mirrors trying on another suit. It is far from his usual attire but he guesses it passes for something more sophisticated in this world. So, he tries to adjust. John and Shaun, Joy’s friends, took him shopping. He could not understand a certain gleam in John’s eyes when they met or his whispered ‘my treat’ to Joy. He hopes he did not cause her any trouble.

He sighs looking at his own reflection. He has already caused her trouble. Their last conversation late at night was strenuous for both of them; he had to force himself to stay in his room afterwards while raging from the things he said to her. He knew he was right but being right and feeling right were not the same things. Not always.

They did not talk after that. Only things about his ‘assumed character’— a travelling photographer —, the places they passed and music on the radio. Nothing about the things they said. She was pensive and did not break the weighting silence in the car. They arrived at John’s place late last night and this morning the guys took him shopping. He needed to look presentable for the exhibition. The artist was sitting on the couch eyeing Solas’ body shamelessly. Also humming to himself.

Joy happily let the guys take him away and advise on the wardrobe. She was taken for a tour of London by the mane of blond hair. Solas gritted his teeth at the thought. The blond hair was attached to a tall and muscled body of a handsome human. A human named Charles. With big blue eyes and a deep voice.

He touched the tie around his neck. It wasn't constricting but he wanted to do something to distract himself from the visions of Joy and Charles together. Smiling, holding hands, kissing maybe. He sighs. No, not kissing.

“The suit looks far better than I expected. It doesn't need any adjustments. Lucky you,” Shaun stands behind him looking him over. Solas smiles back. At least this will be over soon.

“Shall we go over some casual clothes? We cannot let you wander around with,” he waves Solas up and down, “whatever you have.”

It's not going be over soon then. Solas sighs again. Fine. Let's do it once and be over with.

He disrobes and put his previous clothes on. They proceed through several stores where the other two make him try clothes on. He's patient thinking about Joy; wanting to apologise to her; promising himself to apologise to her the moment he sees her next.

He ends up with hands full of bags. John also carries a few. Shaun is acting as their guide while he talks about his work. Solas is yet to see his works. He hopes that the art is passable, at least.

“So, how did you meet?” The question is aimed at him and he sighs before replying. It's going to be tricky. But they practised; he should be fine. He’s lied before after all.

“A decade ago. We dropped off when she moved to London. I did not see her until recently,” John observes him in the rear mirror while driving slowly in London’s traffic.

“You knew her before David then?” Solas nods. “What was she like?”

Now, that's something he would like to know himself. She did not tell him any particulars, so he can only guess her story. He would need to rely on his observations.

“Funny, open to people, drunk on coffee every morning. Oh, and books. She was always carrying a book with her and could talk about what she read for hours.”

“Yeah, that has not changed. Would you imagine that she read the majority of the books in her home library? And in four languages! I am able to communicate quite effectively in English but I dropped the idea of learning another one a long time ago.” John muttered under his breath.

“Because you did not have time to do it properly, my friend.” Shaun commented from his seat. “Also, you did not have a mother who was French and father who was Scottish. I think they were mostly responsible for encouraging her to study…”

“Plus she's talented,” John interjects.

“I would be the last person to contradict that,” Shaun declares before turning in his seat to look at Solas.

“I think we can make a decent looking guy out of you, Sam. Even if you lack hair, well there's nothing we can do about it, we can at least dress you properly. I can also take you to my spa for some rejuvenation treatment if you wish.” He quirks his perfectly groomed eyebrow.

“Ah no, thank you. New attire is quite sufficient, I assure you.”

“Well, if you wish to compete with the muscles and his charm you may need more than new clothes, my friend.” Shaun shares a knowing smirk with John.

Solas looks between them and then sighs heavily. So, it is not a secret that Charles—

“Every time is the same thing. She comes here and he takes her for a tour of London; as if she did not live here before. Nothing unusual,” John says casually.

“And he tries to win her heart, you forgot to say,” Shaun remarks while playing with radio’s controls.

A strike of anger crosses his features as he thinks about Charles. How dare he? How dare he? Then he reminds himself that she went with him willingly. And if it's usual for them then—. A heavy sigh.

“So what about that spa?” The question gets him Shaun's laughter and John’s grunt.

~

“No, Charlie. I think we should do something different than the fair,” she says decisively, fighting with her loose hair in the windy weather.

Her companion regards her in silence suppressing a sigh. He had it all planned but it seems that she doesn't want predictable anymore. It used to make her feel safe, she said. What’s changed? He wonders eyeing her curiously. She changed her attire and actually wore a summer dress; a nice pale salmon with big blue flowers. It flattered her figure and accentuated her tanned skin. His eyes were attracted to all the places hidden and revealed by the dress. He was sure that her skin was as soft as it looked and—. He stops this train of thoughts unless he makes a fool of himself. He had a plan to convince her to stay in London longer than till next Wednesday. He asked for a few days off at work as he wanted to spend them with her.

“Very well, what do you have in mind?”

“I would love to go to that restaurant on top of the Shard tower. I think it’s called Aqua Shard.”

He nods as she motions to him to follow her; and he does. They end up walking the narrow alleys where she distracts herself looking at small bubbles and figurines through the windows. She does not come in though. She doesn't buy anything; just look. They chat about their childhood memories evoked by the objects they admire. She smiles a lot and seeing her like this makes his heart clenching as he wants to see her wearing it all the time.

They take the lift to get to the upper floor of the Shard with the panoramic view and they walk around the floor pointing at different buildings populating the area below. She likes the modern and tall and made of glass ones while he finds some hidden admiration for the older and made of bricks and with balconies.

They have to wait for a table for a few moments, so they order tall glasses of orange juice and enjoy the sights. London spreads below them. They look at the city in wonder. It's still windy outside and her hair is still slightly tangled; he wants to touch it badly. To smooth it down, to put it behind her ear. Then run his hand along her arm to her waist and bring her closer to him. To look into her eyes and get even closer to be able to tilt his head and touch her lips and—. Stop, he chides himself looking into her shining eyes and lips stretched into a relaxed smile.

“I used to fantasise about coming here,” she confesses still looking outside.

“Why didn’t you?”

“Because living on a budget is a challenge. You have to choose between things you need and things you want,” she admits taking a sip from the glass. “I promised myself that one day I will visit all the top buildings of London to enjoy the sights.”

“And are you?”

She looks at the view and then at him. “I think I am.” His hearts skips; is it possible that she—? Maybe her change of their routine is not coincidental? Maybe she wants to ask him and—. He is confused and hopeful at the same time.

They are finally seated at a table and served their breakfast.

“Are you planning on staying longer this time? I mean, after Wednesday?”

“Why?”

“I would love to take you outside the city. Maybe we could take a trip to—“

“I’m sorry Charlie but the guys are coming over to mine next weekend. You know to watch the Euro finals.”

“If we leave on Wednesday we could get back for Saturday and—“

She sighs. “Charlie, I can’t.”

“What about just going away for a day?”

“You’re persistent, aren’t you?” She jokes and her eyes crinkle in corners.

“I really want to take you away, Joy,” he leans over to be closer to her. He notices how her eyes trail from his eyes to his lips where they rest for a moment before lifting back again.

“I’m… you are not a single-lady kind of guy, Charles.”

“I could be.” He smiles looking at her with heated gaze.

“I highly doubt it,” she shakes her head. “You like the chase but you’re not ready to settle down, to commit yourself. And that’s good as long as it suits you.”

His hand moves on its own across the table and covers hers. She looks surprised but does not shake it off.

“I would be willing to change for you. You are the one who could make an honest man out of me.”

“Charlie, I…” she trails off taking her hand away. She leans back in her chair. “There’s someone else.” Quiet words on her lips make his heart clench.

“It’s not a ‘ _no_ ’ to me,” he admits.

Light blue eyes meet his and she snorts. “You’re an eternal optimist.”

He shrugs and takes a sip of his latte. “What can I say? I guess I am or, especially in my line of work, I have to be.”

“And, talking about work, how is it? Still problems with your boss?”

“Well, she can be bitchy but she’s right, you know. She’s also recommended me for her second-in-command in the district. Another reason to give her a chance.”

“Wow, that’s marvellous! That’s what you’ve wanted, right?”

“Yeah, well,” he shuffles in his seat, “it means more hours and more travelling. And more paperwork.”

“Just admit that you love it,” her tone is teasing. He smiles.

“Uhm, yes, I guess I do. I’ve never thought that I would follow a boy’s dream and actually become a fire-fighter but hey, here I am.” They share a smile.

“I was thinking about buying a house outside London. In a nice and quiet area; with a driveway and a garden. To... settle down maybe…” He sighs. She notices a slight blush to his cheeks. He swallows before looking at her again.

She understands what he means; she used to have the same dream about her and David. They saved enough money to get the deposit paid for that beautiful yet cosy apartment in the city. It was like a dream come true when she thought about it at that time. She was ecstatic with joy and counted days till their move. It never did happen; she never put my foot in that dream flat after her world crushed down. Her dream wasn’t his it seemed. She blinks to get away from painful memories and look at the blond man. He is a handful but also good-hearted. Yet, she doesn‘t feel the way he does.

“If that’s what you want then maybe you should go for it,” her encouraging words make him smile. He smiles a lot today. He always smiles a lot when she’s around, he realises.

And what does she want? She doesn’t need to dream about a house as she has one now. She doesn’t need to settle down as she is not looking for a guy. Well.. there’s Solas but… what does he want? Can she hope to have a future with him? And even if… what it may be like? What it may be like to live with him? He is a man with strong opinions on many things; he’s stubborn and proud and … needed elsewhere. She sighs. If she believes him being real than his world is real as well and the matter of elves and the Veil are real…  What does she really know about him?

_… you based your assumptions about my behaviour on the actions I did not take…_

She looks towards the bar were a  group of well dressed men has gathered. They chat animatedly and yet not too loudly. She imagines that Solas could mingle with them wearing one of these elegant suits. She sees him standing tall with a tumbler in his hand sporting an elegant grey suit and he looks just so…

She blinks. Her mind is buzzing now. The thoughts rush through it as a tornado in a desert. He’s a mage, with power beyond comparison; an elf, one of the first few of his kind with a long lifespan; he can be kind and cheeky and definitely persuasive; if to believe that he’s one of the Evanuris then he was one of the generals which makes him a strategist accustomed to scheming and planning and winning; he’s intelligent and curious — learning things too quickly— for his own good; a bit odd but charming in a quirky way and he has a way with words; he definitely locked the other gods, he definitely created the Veil and definitely made a mistake by giving his orb to Corypheus; he doesn’t know everything and is prone to make mistakes which change the world—. She shakes her head now at the absurdity of her thoughts.

“What are you thinking about?” a deep voice brings her back to her current situation. They still sit at the table; still in this beautiful place with breath-taking sights and yet she longs for something else.

~

“All I'm saying is that she may not be ready.”

“I think she is ready. And,” a perfectly manicured finger in the air, “she'll be more than ecstatic to do it,” Shaun concludes grinning at John.

They are in the dining room setting up the table for a lunch together before they all prepare for tonight. Shaun is in good mood, hoping it all goes well, even if he's afraid it may not go well. His friends can easily see the cracks in his façade and try their best to support him. He appreciates that. A lot.

The table is finally set and the others arrive to fill in the seats. The soft drinks go around but they still wait with the food for Joy and Charles to return. John observes Sam as he looks discretely at the entrance.

“Maybe you could ring them again?” Yvonne, the youngest and latest member of the group, suggests. “I'm sure they're fine and just stuck in traffic or something.”

“They might be stuck or something. Or maybe something is stuck.” Victor’s comment and waggling eyebrows make Solas cringe internally.

“I'm sure they are just late,” John states calmly.

“Shall we start then?” Tom asks hopefully. He skipped his breakfast this morning and his stomach is rumbling quietly. He's wistfully eyeing the egg salad before him.

“Oh let's start without them. I need to have time to digest the meal if I want to be ready for tonight,” Shaun states.

“I could get you ready in no time,” Victor suggests leaning closer to him.

Shaun grins before catching himself and straightening his back. “Maybe later. For now I'm hungry for food.”

“Let's start then!” Lisa decides raising a glass to her lips.

“It seems that you've already started,” John mutters under his breath.

Victor, sitting to his left, looks at the woman at the other side of the table. Lisa has definitely started a glass or two ago. So she'd probably be dropping at the end of the night. Well, as long as Shaun is happy he'd be happy. He needs to be strong and relaxed for both of them. He moves his gaze to his left where the perfectly groomed eyebrows are lifted and a set of hands passes him a potato salad. He smiles at his lover.

“So how was shopping, Sam? Successful?” Lisa’s eyes twinkle.

Solas helps himself to some tomatoes; they slide from the bowl and splash on his plate. Luckily they don't colour his shirt. Before he has a chance to reply Shaun pipes in.

“He had a wonderful time with us, I assure you. And we managed to get him a full wardrobe. “

“You mean … you're buying him underwear as well?” Lisa’s voice is teasing.

“Of course, a gentleman needs to have some decent underwear...”

“So, are you a boxer or brief kind of guy, Sam?”

He nearly choked on a tomato. Really—? They're going to discuss his choice of unmentionables at the table? While eating? This world is strange.

He munches on the tomato in silence.

Victor eyes him for a moment. “Boxers. He's definitely a boxer guy.” He winks at Solas and then shares a full grin with Lisa.

“Do we have black olives? I would like some?” Tom asks in quiet voice to his right and Solas is happy to pass a bowl of dark black round — olives — he guesses handed him by John.

“So… what colour is your attire for tonight?” The question is aimed at him again. He fights with himself to not roll his eyes. How childish of her.

“I believe it's grey.”

“W-what?” Shaun pretends to be shocked. “It's silver-grey with a hues of dark blue. Combined with a dark blue shirt and a burgundy-woven-with-threads-of-gold tie. Please be precise when describing your outfit. We've spent _ages_ to find it.”

“I think you may be exaggerating a bit,” John shakes his head.

Solas does not stop himself from sighing loudly.

At that moment a noise can be heard from the entrance and the missing couple arrives. They're flushed and slightly dishevelled. Joy’s eyes dance with laughter and her teeth bite her lower lip. She looks breath-taking. Solas swallows.

“Well, that's very fashionable of you to be late. Or disrespectful. I can't remember which,” Shaun states with a straight face.

“Oh, stop it,” John chides, “just wash your hands and join us.”

“Yes, dad!” Joy grunts and goes to the kitchen with Charles close behind. After a few moments they come back and take their seats.

“Did you enjoy yourselves?” Shaun asks passing water to Joy.

“You meant whether they behaved,” Victor grunts between bites.

Solas’ gaze meet Joy’s and his heart skips a bit at a tiny smile at the corner of her mouth.

“We had a great time.” She admits.

“Indeed, we had. I wouldn't mind to repeat it.” Charles agrees while eyeing her with greedy eyes. Solas doesn't like it. At all.

“Did you take her to the fair again?” Lisa asks.

“He tried but I managed to change his mind.” Joy shares a wicked grin with Lisa.

“You don't like fairs anymore?” Tom asks between bites. “I thought they were your favourite?”

She shakes her head. “It's not that I stopped liking them it's just… doing the same thing over and over again can be —well — boring.”

“Oh, I don't know. I guess it depends on the type of activity one does over and over again we're talking about.” Lisa sniggers.

“We do know what activities _you_ have in mind now,” Victor admits sharing a look with her.

“Don't start again,” Yvonne comments with exasperation in her voice. “There's much to do and…”

“You're no fun!” Tipping her glass she grunts at her friend.

“I can be fun when I want to!” Yvonne exclaims.

“Well…” Shaun starts to say but is interrupted by Lisa’s teasing whisper.

“I'm not the one who had some fun-time-on-a-sofa lately.”

He stills. She is not referring to—? He hopes she isn't. She wasn't even there…

His eyes catch Joy’s and his nostrils flares. She caught up on the same thing and probably is pondering the possibility of them being caught. While they were…

He glares at Lisa and see her smiling crookedly at him. Also casting glances at Joy. Oh, yes. She's definitely talking about them. He's going to—

“Watching and doing aren't the same things though. I would be more for doing it.” Victor comments happily which earns him a scoff and a slap on his bicep from Shaun. “Ouch, what was that for?”

“Behave, that's all I ask.”

“Guys, come on. Just eat the food and let's go. The clock keeps ticking,” John reminds the others politely. “I'll be going with Shaun and Yvonne ahead to see if everything is ready. Victor, please take care of my silly sister and the rest of them.”

“Oh, you're leaving me in charge? I think I like that!”

“Victor, it's just to make sure they arrive before the show starts and not after. Also you’ll need a second driver,” he looks around the table.  “Any volunteers?”

Charles manages to say, “I can dri—“ before Lisa interrupts him.

“Women need more time than you all combined together. We can manage with Joy, can't we?” She looks pointedly at her. Joy shifts in her chair. Solas notices her nervousness and slight blush to her cheeks. She swallows her food before nodding. “You see? We're good!”

“I could stay and wait for you,” the blond man declares looking at Joy through half-lidded eyes and with a smirk on his lips.

Solas coughs. Once.

To which Lisa laughs and Charles throws an annoyed glance at him.

“We'll be fine Charlie. And you may be needed there,” she smiles at him trying to keep a neutral expression on her flushed face.

“Great, since it's all decided and you've finished eating then let's go!” Johns props them standing up.

The others start moving the chairs, only Tom lingers stuffing his face with black olives. After a few munches he leaves the table seeing an annoyed look on Victor's face.

Sam is joined by Shaun who drags him towards his room.

"Sam, do you have a moment?” Joy stops them in the hallway.

“Oh, just be quick. We need to get ready!” Shaun starts fidgeting.

“It will take just a minute Shaun.”

“Very well. Proceed.” The artist agrees waving his hands up in the air.

They are left alone for the moment. Yet they keep their voices low.

“Is everything alright?” She asks.

Solas tilts his head and looks at her for a few long heartbeats before replying.

“Yes, _ma vhenan_. Everything is fine.”

“Are you sure?” She takes a step closer. He inhales her scent and his pupils dilate slightly.

“Yes,” he nods reassuringly. “How was your day?”

“Oh, the usual. It was nice,” she looks to the side then squints her eyes and asks whispering, “Are you jealous?”

“No, _ma lath_. I'm not.”

“Not even a little?” He can hear her teasing.

He takes her chin between his fingers and tilts her head up. She looks at him through half-lidded eyes. He remembers she wore the same look while she was under him writhing in pleasure.

“Love is about trust, _vhenan_. And I do trust you,” he pronounces every word with conviction. “Yet, if he tries anything then—“ He sighs before continuing, “I will fight for what is mine.”

“Yours?” She breathes.

In response he leans towards her planting a trail of barely-there kisses along her cheek to her ear. Then he growls his reply. “ _Mine_.”

A few moments of silence stretch into a full minute when they look at each other. He wants so badly to kiss her lips, to taste the vinegar off her tongue. But he needs to apologise first.

“I need to ask for your—“

A few shuffling and rustling noises and John appears at their side. “Really sorry but Shaunnie will have my hide if I don't let him dress you. I think it's more important than his expo tonight.” He opens his hands in surrender. “I'm sure you'll have more private time later on.”

Sam sighs. As much as he wants to talk to her he understands the need to rush a bit. It would be rude to unnerve Shaun who is already on the edge.  Besides, John asked him for support. He can do it if only because they are _her_ friends.


	15. Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shenanigans at the expo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I left the elven phrase untranslated. You can decide what it means. Yes, it's naughty. It's Solas, so do you expect any different?

A tingling and slightly sweet taste of his drink caresses his tongue. It's a pleasant distraction from the current situation. He stands tall, next to Shaun who explains in great details his art. And the process of creation. Had he not been an artist himself he might have found it annoying but trying to understand how Shaun's mind works may get him an insight into his character. The beverage distracts him enough to avoid being pulled into a fevered discussion about pros and cons of using certain kinds of paints, brushes, pencils, and techniques. He also distracts himself by scanning the crowd. And it is something to see. The sea of silver and gold, flashy and toned, sparkles and monochromatic, barely or totally covered fills his vision. He longs to see _her_ though.

She hasn't arrived yet.

Or, he missed her.

Impossible. He would have noticed her every single time.

His quiet contemplation is interrupted as they are approached by a couple of patrons who talk to Shaun and praise his art. They veil their praises behind small hints of amusements and evoking names, which he does not recognise, and comparison to the best parts of a human body; which might have been the just case was it not for the fact that most of Shaun’s works focus on human faces. He does portraits. A bit hazy and blurry. As if one was looking through a magnifying glass. Focusing on a mouth, or a corner of the eye, or a shoulder. Solas finds that he likes the last one best. A slightly turned head, over the shoulder swipe of long auburn hair disclosing a slightly freckled shoulder of a young woman. The small visible corner of her lips is lifted as if smirking and her eyes are cast down. Her long eyelashes cast shadows on her freckled cheek. The light focuses on her shoulder though, showing the attractive curve of it and an appealing juncture leading to her neck. It reminds him of Emily and the way she arched against him when he kissed and nibbled at this particular spot. He sighs quietly to himself.

He lost it; or maybe found it. In her. With her. He sighs again and looks around.

The couple is still chatting Shaun up. The woman, an attractive one, he has to admit, glances at Solas a couple of times; her gaze gliding over his form up and down; if he was a lesser man he might have cringed or blushed under her scrutiny and heated gaze but alas… he was not.

“Excuse me,” he said eventually and left to meander the crowd. Many paid him attention; many glanced with an interest. He guessed they found him interesting in his own quirky way. He wasn't vain anymore, not as he used to be, and the only attention his heart desired was of the woman invading his thoughts most of the time. _Emma lath_ , where are you?

He spotted Yvonne standing at a corner with some colourful pieces of paper in her hands. She was animatedly chatting up a group of people who then politely accepted the given pieces of paper. As he neared her he noticed her blushing under her makeup; her dilated pupils and slight stiffness of her back.

“Shall I venture into guessing that this is a success for Shaun?” He asked smiling.

She turned around and grinned, “Oh, I think it is very much so! I'm thrilled he asked me to help him tonight. He's talented, isn't he? I've been admiring his work for years now; ever since he started showing his paintings at the art school.”

“Oh? I would not take you for an admirer,” he admitted.

“I am, of course. He's such a great inspiration and helps me to improve my own art!” She explained happily. “He's doing a lot for the local community as well. Sometimes even paints with kids from the local primary school. It's really amazing how he can find time and energy to do all that.”

Solas hums in agreement, finding a new respect for the artist. They talk a few moments longer until she's approached by one of her friend. Solas leaves them and venture a bit further into the crowd.

Tom is standing in front of a sculpture presented by another rising artist. Solas stops to his side and they both look at the intertwined parts of a metal-wood composition. It doesn't resemble anything Solas is familiar with. The title ‘Running’ doesn't help with deciphering the meaning of the piece.

“Maybe it should be moving?” Tom tilts his head as if pondering the same thing as him. Solas looks at the young man for a longer moment. He's sucking on a black olive dipping it in his drink from time to time.

“You really like olives, don't you?”

“Yes. I asked for the black one because they taste nicer than the green ones. Although,” he looks sheepishly at his glass, “this drink should be accompanied with a green one. Apparently.”

“I'm sure nobody minds that you want it with a black one, Tom. After all, it's your drink.” He assures him decisively which puts a smile on the other’s man face. He returns his gaze to the sculpture when Solas leaves him.

Somehow he ends up next to John and Charles. Both wearing dark sharp suits with flashy yet elegant ties. He joins in the conversation trying his best to appear friendly. Also, he observes the blond man attentively if not discretely. Thus, he doesn't miss the sudden change in his behaviour; a sharp intake of air and bobbing of his Adam’s apple. Also, the quiet ‘Oh my sweet Lord’ uttered with such reverence that Solas frowns. Intrigued, he follows his gaze and feels the air leaves his lungs.

“I swear, if she was not like a sister to me…” John’s quiet words make double-strike.

There she was. Standing some distance away. Clothed in a long rich burgundy dress; her shoulder bare; a long opening to the side showing her leg up to the mid-thigh; glass raised to her lips exposing her neck as she tilts her head back. A small golden bracelet around her wrist catches the light and it reflects it around her. Long cascade of her hazelnut hair swiped to one side and held by a long and pointy golden pin. His eyes travels her figure up and down and he feels himself breathing for air. Also swelling in his throat and between his thighs. _Fenedhis_. Can she be more beautiful than this?

The curve of her back is accentuated by the dress, clinging to her closely, embracing her with every small movement. His nostrils flare as he tries to catch her scent. Alas, she's too far for that. He needs to rectify it. Also, he wants to run his hands along her curves. Badly. The thought of fulfilling his desires makes him shudder slightly.

She doesn't give him a chance to surprise her as she turns around and locks her gaze on him. Mischief in her eyes and smirk on her lips. Minx. His breath hitches.

~

“He's definitely looking at you now and judging by his jaw he forgot to breathe.” Lisa smiles, hiding behind her drink. I smile at her before turning around. My eyes fall on Solas and I shiver. He looks so- damn. Another pleasant shiver runs down my back when I realise that he might, indeed, forgot to breathe. I smirk and start walking towards him.

I can see his Adam’s apple bobbles; his eyes scan my figure up and down lingering on my hips and then my breasts for a few seconds too long that is decent. I smirk upon reaching the group; Lisa snorts at my side. Her eyes go between two men who stare at me. I think I may need to thank her later. My attire was her idea; she helped me dress to ‘impress Sam to the point he forgets his tongue’ as she called it. Judging by his reaction and slight blush to his cheeks, she managed to achieve the goal.

“It's good you've joined us eventually,” John breaks the tension. My eyes go to him and he winks at me. “It's definitely more crowded that we've anticipated.”

“I bet Shaun is beaming and blooming right now.”

“You'd think so. But he's stressed more than anything. It would be good for him to have your support.” I nod in understanding.

“So boys, what do you say about Joy?” Lisa moves her hand up and down in the air as if showing me off.

Charles breaks from his trance first. “Well, I think you couldn't look more beautiful than you do now.”

“I think she could,” lilting voice observes. My eyes meet his own.

“Wearing what?” Charles fires up at him.

Solas let the corner of his lips curve into a smirk. “Nothing.”

“What do you mean?”

Lisa and John snort and the latter try to hide his grin behind his fist. Charles looks at them confused for a few moments before his eyes go wide and he chuckles. “Oh, well… You're right, I guess.”

Solas eyes get darker as they bore into mine. His nostrils flare as he pivots his body slowly to stand closer to my right. After a few moments he turns his gaze away. It's my turn to look at him; dressed in an elegant dark grey suit matched with a dark shirt which accentuates the blue of his eyes; he looks attractive. A pleasant shiver runs down my spine. Well, it's going to be a long evening.

I notice that Charles observes us and he frowns slightly. I don't think he is accustomed to not being the centre of a girl’s attention.

“Did you have a chance to talk to Shaun yet? Or see his pieces?” John asks.

“Dear brother, we just got here. I'm sure there will be enough time to take a few rounds and admire the wonderful art pieces,” Lisa, even being more than slightly intoxicated, still manages to behave. For now. Only her -a bit too wide- smile betrays her condition.

I feel a brush of warm air on my forearm. I glance and see nothing. And yet, the feeling of someone’s touch is lingering; and it moves up my arm very slowly caressing my skin. It's pleasant and familiar—

My eyes go wide for a second. Bastard.

“So—,” I remind myself, “Sam, I see you spent a very fruitful afternoon. I hope you've enjoyed yourself?” The light touch is now trailing along my naked arm towards my neck. I fight to suppress a shiver. But I cannot suppress the goosebumps.

He turns his head towards me and his eyes slowly take me in. The smirk reappears as his gaze lands on my arm.

“Very much so. Yet, I wouldn't mind to have spent it in a… mixed company. Indeed, it may have been more entertaining.”

“Oh Sam, you wound me,” John puts a pretend-hurt in his voice. “I thought you’d be more appreciative for all the efforts and commitment we showed you. Especially…” he stops for a more dramatic effect, “in the spa, where _you_ found yourself in a mixed company.”

Lisa chuckles and then starts laughing. “This one I need to hear.”

“Everyone can get themselves into a…” Solas starts but is totally hushed by John.

“He walked out of the room wearing nothing but a towel all glistening from the oil and he took a wrong turn. He walked on a pair of, well, people changing their clothes. They started screaming and there was more shouting and our dear friend here took another wrong turn and found himself in a company of a naked woman waiting for her massage. More shouting and all! You should see his face though; calm, stoic, not even breaking a sweat! And Shaun was running around apologising to everyone. Poor guy had to explain to the manager that his friend was not doing this on purpose but rather it all was an accident.”

Solas takes a long sip from his drink. “Well, at least she had nice curves,” he says and then his eyes meet mine. His gaze is mischievous. And dark.

“Are you trying to tell me you did it on purpose?” Exasperation can be heard in John’s voice. Also disbelief.

“I did not say that.” He replies. Then he winks.

The soft caress moves towards my back and stops at the very bottom of my spine. Brushing the curve of my ass. I hiss.

“Ass.” I mumble disapprovingly.

The touch lingers at the brim for a second longer then slowly glides down. I shot him an annoyed look. He stands straight, just slightly shifted on his left foot; his right hand holds an empty glass now. Nothing betrays his inappropriate behaviour though. I want to smack him on his head. Maybe I should, as he enjoys it too much. I'm not the one to tell him that I'd enjoyed it more if we're not in a public place.

“Would you ladies like another round?” Charles asks politely. I only nod, trying hard to suppress a moan. There's some talking about drinks and who's getting them. I glance at Solas. His eyes are on me and his face has a wolfish grin. Oh yes, he knows exactly what he's doing to me. Bastard.

“Arrête!” I hiss at him. His grin doesn't fall but I can feel his caress moving from my ass to the side opening of my dress. It trails down my thigh and lingers there for a few heart-beats before disappearing completely.

I can breathe again. My heart is racing and I try to collect myself with slow measured breaths. I can see his eyes moving to my chest. I will throttle him tonight. I will get back to him. Oh yes, he will not get off so easily.

“I'll go with you,” he announces to Charles and they leave.

“Oh my, what was that about?” Lisa asks, her cheeks are glowing with laughter.

“What do you mean?” I try to keep my calm.

The siblings exchange the look. “It is like an electric current runs between you two. This sex tension is really rubbing on me now.”

“Lisa, you read too many-“

“Just stop denying it Joy. I've spent over a week with you two and I know what I'm talking about. He's always around, hovering protectively at the edges, just waiting for a chance to get closer. And the way he looks at you is so, so so well, I can't find the word…”

“Adoring?” John supplies.

“Yes! That's right. He looks at you with such adoration and longing.”

I shake my head. My gaze moves to the bar where I can see him next to Charles, ordering drinks. The sight of him, tall with broad shoulders, slightly leaning on the counter and smiling at the bartender makes my heart skip a beat. I still try to deny the attraction, even to myself, but my friends can see for themselves.

“Oh well. Fine. There's something between us. And it's… complicated.” I state sheepishly. Lisa claps her hands and smiles widely. John looks at me with a soft smile.

“Does it trouble you that he loves you?”

I shot him an incredible look. How in the world would he guess—?

“There you go. A glass of rosé, slightly chilled, right?” Slender fingers hold a wine glass in front of me and I accept the drink. He does not move away, remaining close to me. I lift my eyes to his and I can see the gentleness in them. He's going to be my doom. But, should I complain when he looks at me like that?

“I need to check on Shaun and other artists, so if you excuse me I'll catch up with you later,” John announces before giving me the look and leaving us.

“It means that we also need to mingle,” I sigh. “Shall we take a stroll around?” The question is aimed at Solas who nods in reply.

We leave others and go round the gallery. They managed to get five rising artists and show their work in one place. Each of them has enough room to present their best pieces, although Shaun claimed that seven was not enough, and organise their own catering on top of the one provided by the hosts. John was one of the patrons and made sure that none of the artists were treated differently. No favourites, no special treatment. His name alone attracted additional visitors. But even that exceeded their expectations. It was crowded and I hoped that Shaun fares well tonight. I love his style and pieces. Especially the one I posed for.

I glance at my companion and see him scanning the crowd in silence as we stop near one of the Shaun's portraits. He breathes quietly. I get my chance now and I move my left hand to his tie. I pretend to adjust it a bit. His eyes bore into mine and then they lower to my lips which I wet with my tongue. Slowly. I notice that his free hand flinches towards me. He resists though.

My hand continues its travel down south as I trace the buttons. Then it moves to the side of his pants. Luckily for him, his back is turned away from the crowd and I stand slightly aside so none is the wiser when I sneak my hand under the bottom of his jacket. His breath accelerates and his eyes turn to slits. He's watching me intently while not stopping me. Maybe trying to decide if I dare. Oh, I do dare tonight.

My fingers touch his left thigh and I drag them up and down, approaching the centre with each pass. His eyes are locked on mine. I smirk at him being sure that victory is close. First pass against his cock makes him hiss but instead of stopping me he takes a step closer. My hand is now in between his thighs; my fingers sliding up his hardening length. His nostrils flare for a short moment and then he steps away.

The burning in his gaze tells me he doesn't want to stop. He's just trying to get himself under control. We're in public. He shakes his head after a few moments and his jaw relaxes.

“ _Dre’ghan valer no’main_ ,” he comments.

“Oh, is that another of elven names for me?” I bat my eyelashes at him, playing innocent. To which he shakes his head again before looking around and scanning the crowd again.

“Do you miss it?” A raised eyebrow. “Arlathan?”

A hitch in his breath means he is surprised by my question. “Hmm, I did not expect you'd ask about that. Yes, I do. It was my home once; I miss the good things; the things that were before it all escalated; before we lost our path.”

“Our? You as well then?”

“Do you really think I'm innocent in all that happened to my people? “

“I definitely know that you're not the most… responsible to blame. And if you were not there, more horrible things would have happened to your people.”

“I should have not given them immortality, that's for sure.” He admits more to himself than me.

I look at him pondering. Should I press for more details or wait with my questions? He knows I'm curious and always is happy to answer me and yet I see that some of the questions pain him. So, I let them rest for the time being.

“Ah, there you are. Good!” Victor shows up at my side with Yvonne, Becky, and Tom in tow. They all have drinks in hand and happy grins.

“What's new?” I raise my eyebrow at him.

“I need your help with Shaun. You're the only one who can calm him down now.” He looks pleadingly at me. I sigh, suspecting that Shaun was giving him a hard time. I can feel Solas’ hand on my lower back. His _real_ hand. I feel the warmth spreading through his fingers. It feels nice.

“Very well, where is he?” Victor nods towards the back room and I leave them to their own devices. I hope that Solas survives their company.

~

His eyes follow her retreating form. He can still feel her skin underneath his fingers. And the ghost of her fingers against his length. He wants more of her. To continue. Alas, she was needed elsewhere.

“You're the new guy, yeah? I'm sure you're not gonna stand out too much!” The new girl, Becky, commented while eyeing him up and down. “You're not a bad looking bloke, even without hair. Do you shave it off or is it natural for you?”

He should feel offended or at least annoyed. Yet, he is not. She wears a light salmon colour suit with flowery details along the lapels. Somehow, it suits her. The strands of short ginger hair added more colours to her persona.

“It's natural,” he admits passively.

“Works for you then. So, are you staying or going?” She tilted her head and fished a chunk of pineapple from Tom’s martini glass.

“What do you mean?” Light crease of his eyebrows.

“Are you committed to her or just fooling around? That's what she means.” Victor explains happily.

“We cannot decide whether to kick your butt right now or give you a chance?” Becky snort fishing another chunk of Tom’s pineapple. He doesn't mind. He even moves his glass closer to her. So, it must be a ritual for them. Solas sighs.

“Come on, spit it out,” the big guy claps him on a shoulder. For a personal fitness trainer he's definitely strong, so the clap makes Solas swivel. “We're taking bets.” He sighs again. How childish.

“Really? You would be—“

“He's joking,” Yvonne shakes her head full of curls. “We're not taking bets.”

“Yet.” Both Becky and Victor grin at their timed reply. They gape at him expectantly.

“He loves her. He will stay till the end.” A quiet voice announces. They all look at Tom who's chasing the last bit of pineapple in his glass. Their eyes meet once he's munching on it. “What? Do I have something on my face?” He touches his lips nervously. Solas shakes his head and the young man relaxes. Then he smiles.

“Well, OK. So you and Joy. Hmm..” Victor eyes him apprehensively as if he saw him for the first time. Solas knows how her friends are important to her, so he tries to keep his calm about being scrutinised. “That puts a big ‘no’ for the Prince Charming then.”

“I told you it would never never happen,” Becky grins again. “He should take his eyes to that commander of his.”

“She's not a commander Bex. Just his supervisor. And it's discouraged to get involved with—“ Yvonne sighs with exasperation but is interrupted by an empty glass put in front of her face.

“I say he should. Now, let's get some drinks and then we can go back to look at Sam’s tight ass some more!” She declares before taking the other woman by her shoulder and dragging her towards the bar. He can hear Yvonne’s frantic ’I would never’ mumbling.

Both men laugh. Solas feels himself blushing slightly. He knows it's only a friendly banter and it makes him feel a part of a group. A family of sort. He forgot for a while how good it felt. His thoughts linger for a few moments on Daeva. He missed her company as well as others in the Inquisition.

~

It takes a long time for Joy to return. Whatever she was doing she's definitely more inebriated. He sighs but says nothing as her lazy smile catches his eyes. She's relaxed and happily accepts his arm to lean on.

John is with him when she finds them. He gives her once over and nods at Solas before leaving, “You better take her home.” To which Solas nods apprehensively. Her eyes find his and he's entranced by the light golden flecks swirling in the sea of blue. He could dive into them and never re-emerge. A slow grin appears on his face. He wants something. Badly.

“I'll follow his advice.” She hums happily against his arm at his words. His hand sneaks behind her head and he leans closer. “I'll take you home under one condition though.” He pauses gauging her reaction. The light blue flickers to his face and an eyebrow arches.

“What condition?” Her voice is just a whisper.

He leans closer and his mouth brushes against her earlobe. “You'll allow me to pleasure you tonight.”

A sudden gasp and muffled moan are her answer. He encircles her waist and they leave for the parking lot.

~

He shuts off the water and leaves the bathroom. In his bed there's her. Her long hair in disarray on the pillow and a long leg on top of covers. His long fingers brush against her limb, climbing up to her waist. She stirs but does not wake. He sighs. Happily. She's in his bed after all. His left hand sneaks under her neck when he sinks into the mattress next to her. A soft grunts and incoherent mumbling leave her mouth when she lays her leg on top of him and he brings her closer. Another happy sigh. He wanted to make her gasp and writhe tonight but this is also good.

He wants so many things with her; but he needs time. And he feels that time is running out. A change is coming. He can only hope that it's a positive one. The thought of losing her chills him to the bone. A strange clutching of his wanting and enamoured heart. If he has his say, she will be safe. If he has his say, she'll be his. If he has his say, she—

When her face finds the side of his neck and her breath caresses his jaw, he hums in contentment. He may fear many things but she gives him hope. She trusts him and it's both exciting and terrifying to have such power over someone. She is all he needs right now. He will want more comes the morning but for now this is all he needs. The quiet of the night and the sound of her regular breathing against his skin. And he wouldn't want it any other way.


	16. Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \--> Everything changes.

She laughs at something Shaun says. They're in a car, on their way to Brighton, Victor behind the steering wheel. Their fingers are intertwined and Solas’ thumb caresses her knuckles. He catches her glances and sees her cheeks colouring. That reminds him of the look she wore this morning when he exercised the promise from last night.

“You agreed to this _vhenan_. We had a deal. Just relax and enjoy it,” he was whispering in her ear while his right hand cupped and caressed her breast. Her breath hitched and then she released a long moan. Encouraged, he continued his ministrations. By the time his fingers dove into her pants and grazed her folds she was keening and her hips were rocking slowly against his thigh. His own breath was ragged; his own pleasure threatening to overwhelm him seeing her like this. Ready, wet, and responding. But he wanted to see her undone before him. See her face when she came. So, he steeled his resolve and focused on her face, trying to catch every single change in her expression; raising and falling of her eyebrows; teeth biting her lips; fluttering of her eyelashes; soft sounds forming between her open mouth.

She did not stop him when his fingers dove in her heat. Wet. Hot. Tight. Two fingers slid deep inside her. She bucked her hips and made a long moan clinging to him at the same time. He caught her eyes as she looked at him with hunger. The gold rings covered by black. Her eyes darker that he ever saw them. He was sure his own were the same. With the way she unravelled before him, he couldn't fight his own desire. His cock glided against her thigh and the friction was enough to make him groan. He found himself rocking against her, burying his head in the junction between her neck and shoulder for a moment. He nipped it hard. Not to say he almost bit her. She still has the mark.

He knew she was close when she started panting. Braced on his left arm he continued the well-timed rocking of his hips and dives of his fingers. She chanted his name in broken and raspy voice, alternating it with ‘yes’ and ‘faster’. He complied happily, drinking from the sight of her. Dishevelled, flushed, wet, and raspy. Beautiful. He moaned then. His thumb flicked the bundle of her nerves bringing her to completion. She gripped his arm and rode her heights for a few more moments before stopping completely and slouching down.

Her eyes trailed paths on his face and her lips stretched into a lazy smile.

“Gosh, that was…thank you, Solas. I needed this.”

He hummed, grinning at her. Content if still aroused. He completed the act by bringing his wet fingers to his mouth. Licked them slowly, watching her eyes following the movements of his tongue. She moaned again letting him know that she enjoyed the show as well. He wanted to see her like that and she did not disappoint him at all. He hoped it wasn't the only time for them. He wanted more. Definitely more.

Victor grunted as he took a wrong turn.

“Why would you believe the silly gps and not what you see in front of you?” Shaun's voice was slightly tired after yesterday's celebrations.

“It works fine. It's just a new road. And we're taking a slight detour so we can stop and rest for a while. I'm sure others are already waiting for us.”

“Not my fault you drive slowly-“

“I don't drive slowly. Only carefully. After all, I have a valued cargo in there,” Victor sends a cheeky grin at his boyfriend. Shaun's huffs and looks away. Joy giggles on the backseat and her fingers tighten around his. He smiles, he's happy. They make him feel like that.

They joined the others at a stop and they walk around to stretch their legs. Their fingers are still intertwined. He uses a bit of magic to dry the wetness built between their hands. Joy smiles at him squinting her eyes. Then she leans on her toes and plants a chase kiss on his lips. He wants to kiss her properly but he refrains. A pleasant shiver runs down his back. He wants her. Later, he reminds himself and chuckles lightly.

Lisa and John talks about swapping seats as he complains about her ‘crazy’ driving. Yvonne tries not to laugh and talks to Becky pointing to her phone and Tom who is walking back and forth looking intently at his phone.

Joy gets curious and joins the boy looking over his shoulder. He shows the device to her and they talk quietly aside.

Charles joins him in long strides. He wears a hat with a cap today so his eyes are obscured. They look at Solas slowly as if sizing him up. There's no smile on the blonde man’s lips.

“So, you and Joy?”

“I'm afraid you'd need to be more specific,” Solas points out.

“You're the guy she mentioned before. Complicated as she described you, if I remember correctly.”

“Yes, well.. And your point?”

“My point is that I don't want to see her hurt. And you look like the type of guy who would do anything to reach his goals. I just don't want her to get involved with you if you're not certain or have your own agenda.”

He should not be surprised if Charles’ reaction. After all, her friends were asking him about his intentions at the party. In Charles’ case it was also jealousy which made him ask. But he believed that he cared about her, that much was evident, and even without expecting anything in return he cared for her wellbeing. Solas could appreciate that.

“I care about her, so you know. And I don't have any intention to hurt her.” He replies calmly, looking the man straight in the eyes. Charlie sighs and looks away.

“You better,” he whispers before walking away towards his car. Solas sighs. He had no intention to hurt Joy but he cannot guarantee that no harm will come to her in the future. If she was willing to— No, he stopped this train of thought. Better not to think about it. Not yet.

The others joke and laugh and bicker a bit; yet Solas finds it oddly pleasant. He realises that he likes her friends. They're like a family. He feels like he could be a part of it if only—.

If only he stayed.

Here.

With her.

Joy comes back at his side and leans on him tugging on his arm with her right hand. Instinctively, his left hand goes around her waist and he drags her towards him. Soft smile on his lips. Mischief in his eyes as he sees her giggling into his shirt. He hums into her hair realising that she's no longer hiding her feelings for him. She admits them publicly if only in front of her friends. It's a progress anyway. At least, she stopped denying them.

His eyes scan the others and he notices small crease on Charles’ face. The blond man looks at Joy’s back and a sigh leaves his mouth. After a few moments he declares end of the break and gets behind the wheel of his 4x4.

They return on the road and he sits at the back again. With her. Their fingers intertwined. He raises their hands and kisses her knuckles while looking into her eyes. Her look is hungry again. The kind of hunger he longed to see since the beginning.

~

“Sweet, look at them.” Lisa’s voice is just above a whisper. We sit on a beach under some enormous parasols, shading us from the scorching sun. She points with her chin towards the sea. When I look, my breath hitches and I have to fight for the next one. Four gorgeous and almost naked men are emerging from the sea. Well, OK. They are just standing there having some kind of conversation. It's difficult to decide whether it's a polite one or a dispute with all of them gesticulating around. They're all tall and broad shoulders and muscles. I've seen Solas in shorts before but seeing him next to others makes my heart beating loudly. He's slimmer than others but as tall and broad shouldered. I sigh happily thinking about this morning and his chiselled abs above me. Also his strong arms and muscles moving with the-

“Hmm…” it's all can say as a reply at the moment. I can feel my cheeks taking on a shade of red.

“You're thinking about naughty things and Sam, aren't you?”

“No, I'm not.”

“That hickey on your neck ain't his then?”

I grunt and turn my head away. “It's.. well, it's not the only thing I'm thinking about-“

“Sure you are. I definitely am thinking about him and sex. He's a very handsome guy and his body is so wonderfully shaped. Ahh, you're lucky to have him for yourself,” she admits wistfully. “If he ever wanted to share though…” she let the sentence hanging.

“I don't think he's a guy who likes sharing Lisa.” I shake my head in laughter.

“Oh, I don't know,” she smiles at the approaching men. Solas sits behind me and I can feel his wet arms encircling me, small drops of water falling on my neck from his face as he rubs it against me. I shiver, and it has little to do with the drops.

“Are you the kind of guy who likes to share, Sam?” She actually asks _that_ question. I feel him humming against my neck before lifting his face to answer her.

“If you ask about sharing as an idea, then I don't mind. If you ask about me sharing my beloved woman, then yes, I do mind.” I blush seeing all eyes on me. Lisa laughs and lays down on her towel; her whole frame shaking with laughter. Shaun and Victor share a knowing look and then hum appreciatively exchanging smart remarks. I bend my head hoping my hair will cover it and I'm spared the embarrassment. Not a chance. Solas’ hand reaches out and puts the hair behind my ear, as he whispers into it. “I love this colour on you, love.”

That bastard. He's done it on purpose.

“Let's take a walk,” I say grabbing his arm and dragging him up. He grabs his white shirt and puts it on, trying to catch up with me as we walk towards the sea.

“I think you're in trouble now lover boy!” Shaun's laughter follows us as well as Lisa’s, “You show him girl!”

I walk quite a distance before his hand grabs mine and his lilting voice announces, “Was it too much, _vhenan_? I thought you wouldn't mind letting them know about us.”

I stop and turn around bumping slightly into him. His other hand stops behind my back.

“I don't mind. And they’ve already guessed,” I sigh. “It's just… I was always single to them and.. this is new… and I might be a bit, well, overwhelmed… And, I…”

“My heart, I'm here. Whatever you need, I'm here.” His lips plant small kisses along my jaw ending up with a small peck on mine. I lean against him, letting my body relax and take comfort he offers.

“I'm overwhelmed and thrilled as much as you are. Maybe more.” He draws back a bit to look into my eyes. “It's definitely been longer for me. And this is different and new to me, it's far from courting someone in my time. I don't have to spend a decade to be allowed to kiss you or to hold you. As long as you're willing and reciprocal, I think I'm allowed to pursue you and treat you as mine. Stating it out loud in front of your family or friends proves that I'm not ashamed or untrue in my feelings. I want you and I want everyone to know that.”

All the feelings are clearly displayed on his face and in his eyes. All I need to do is surrender to him and let him love me. I don't need let him surrender to me as he's already done so by trusting me. I sigh and then draw myself on my toes to kiss him. He let me control the kiss just bends slightly, so I don't have to stretch my toes for too long. I clearly prefer kissing him while sitting or lying down. Seems that almost a head difference in height, especially when barefoot, can be a nuisance.

“You're so…” I look for a word while his eyebrow raises, “unbelievably impossible.” He smiles.

“A guy from another world who came to sweep you off your feet? Is that the saying? Is it not what every girl in this world dreams of? At least as far as the books go… And it seems I'm that guy. Well… if we are talking about sweeping…” His eyes roam my figure for a moment and I can see a mischievous glance in them.

“No no no! Don't you dare!” I'm backing away from him getting a few feet into the sea. I can feel the waves at my ankles. His smile broads dangerously and before I have a chance to run he grabs me bride style and starts walking further into the sea.

“Solas, stop it.“ I cling to him.

“I haven't seen you yet in that lovely suit you're hiding beneath that- whatever that is-. I think it needs to be rectified immediately.” My arms go around his neck and I hold on to him even more, I can feel the water on my ass and groan annoyed. If he wanted to see me taking off the pareo he needed only to ask and not—.

My thoughts are interrupted as he unceremoniously throws me into the waves. Damn it! I yell but I'm under water so I jump on my feet and my head emerges above the water level. My rage is being diminished by the greeting sight of his soaked shirt clinging to his abdomen. The small amulet he always wears shines in the sun. ‘A promise’, that's what he calls it. Sweet Lord, have mercy. The waves are lapping at my back and I try to remain dignified as his hungry gaze trails down my neck to my chest. My wet chest.

Because of his heated gaze I became self-conscious. I bit my lip and tried to peel off the thin material clinging to my skin. His hands stopped mine; he moved them to his sides slowly backing up towards the beach.

“You're perfect, _ma lath_. Absolutely perfect.”

I've not been self-conscious before. I was running and exercising on a regular basis. Also I did tend to lose weight easily which, with my addiction to rosé, was a blessing. And I did not try to gain approval from any man after David. Right then I realised that Solas is the only other guy who I may allow to be close to me. Physically close. I don't count numerous hugs and occasional pecks from friends. I don't try to please them in the way I would want to make Solas happy. Looking at him now when he slowly takes off my pareo, somehow he figured it out how to undo it, I feel my heart racing and my cheeks burning. He opens the front but does not remove it entirely. His hand goes to my stomach and his long fingers trail a path to my belly button and then across my waist.

He stops and looks at me with awe in his eyes. “Perfect.” He steps forward and kisses me passionately. His hands roam my skin and I let him.

A sudden cough brings our attention back to the present. Solas very reluctantly stops kissing me and looks to the side. A slightly flushed Tom is shifting on his feet and looks everywhere but us.

“We're getting something to eat. They ask if you want anything?”

“Or if you be eating each other,” Becky pipes in sneaking behind Tom. He jumps surprised. She laughs. Oh my, she's going to gossip. A lot.

We're at some distance from the group as we walked for some time before stopping and yet I'm sure I'll get some interesting comments from them. Especially Lisa. Argh. I grunt internally.

Solas looks at me, letting me decide.

“I'll have some salad and cheese. The usual. And..?” I look at him raising an eyebrow. He nods. I shrug. “The same for him then.”

Tom nods and turns to walk away. We are slowly getting out of the water which runs down my legs and makes my clothes clinging to them preventing me from walking comfortably.

“Take it off _vhenan_. I will try my best to behave appropriately,” he murmurs into my ear, so Becky, who glances at us, and walks alongside, doesn't hear.

I sigh and take off the offensive pareo. I'm trying my best to not look at him to avoid being pulled into blushing and flustering. Becky is talking about her latest yoga classes and how it helps to improve her balance. Then she shows us a very dignified stance. I can't help myself being cheeky and joke at her. To which she replies with a snarky comment about me and Sam and being wet. I blush, unfortunately.

A dry hand sneaks around my waist and hoists me to him. I can feel a laughter running across his skin and see the smile reaching his eyes. He's more handsome than ever. How could I ever think about resisting a man like him, full of odd charm and knowledge. Maybe I'm mad for wanting to jump right in; maybe I should have resisted him harder from the beginning; instead I let him slowly conquer my heart and convince me that what we have...

_is real_.

We reach others as they are almost packed and ready to leave. We put some spare clothes and follow them to the nearby place where we usually eat. We walk slowly, hand in hand, a happy couple, exchanging looks and smiles. I want to feel this joyous moment for as long as possible.

~

“Oh, come on Solas, it wasn't that bad. We made a contact and although I'm inappropriately full at least we have some idea on how to approach the issue.”

His smile is strenuous.

“I'm sorry that professor Whitley could not have been more helpful. I'm sure that given time he may come up with more advanced ideas.”

“It's not your fault _vhenan_. You did your best. And yes,” he sighs, “I'm sure that we will find a solution. His ideas are not perfect but he mentioned a couple of things I would like to consider. The idea of recreating the same circumstances as in the first instance is viable albeit seems impossible. Yet, it may be that we are missing something here. I'm unsure...”

We go back to John's place. I drag him towards a metro station which I'm sure is in the area. It's eerie quiet and the streets are almost empty safe for some stragglers. It seems that our visit was prolonged beyond the initial two hours. Professor Whitley turned out to be an older gentleman with a penchant for fantasy and physics. Once my ruse to meet him was discovered he asked for the real reasons for approaching him. Solas took upon himself to convince him that we are genuine in our interests. And once he relented, he turned out to be a well of knowledge. So, both passionate people discussed the possibility of time and space travels for hours. Professor invited us for lunch and late dinner. I did not deny myself some wine. A bottle, actually. That's why I wanted to walk a bit and then fall asleep in Solas’ arms. He agreed happily if not a little distracted by the earlier discussion. Yet his arm was around me and we talked about an idea or other.

I have sudden feeling that I know the answer. It's like at the end on my tongue but its volatile and I cannot quite determine which thread to pull to get to the centre of it. I walk around its edges, trying to peek inside but I can't get the clear view. It's frustrating to feel like you should know the answer and still you don't. Same circumstances as before? How is that even possible? Was there a specific pattern he would need to go through—? Or a special sequence of events need to happen?

I focus on the dilemma feeling I'm getting closer to figure out the solution. I imagine the mirror activated and the swirling light enveloping his Elven form clad in his wolf’s armour.

I think we took a wrong turn. I think we might have been distracted by a mixture of things. Each of us had their own reasons to be deep in thoughts at that moment. Also, we were looking forward to fall asleep in each other's arms.

It happened so fast. A demanding and abrupt word from one of the strangers in the alley. A glimpse towards my figure. A determined set of Solas’ jaw. A pleading words on my lips. A moment of hesitation in his eyes. A shot fired by a young shaky hand. A move putting me in the line of fire pushing Solas aside. A piercing-heart shout coming from his mouth. A whooshing and crackling of air around me.

I fall to my knees. Then slide to the ground. I can feel myself falling and floating. Things become blurry and then crystal clear in splits of seconds. His face before my eyes; worry in his gaze; soundless mouth forming words and then his repeated chanting of ‘no’ and ‘please _vhenan’_. His hands all over me.

A new voice appears at the edge of my hearing saying angrily “I got here too late. I thought I had more time.” It's getting darker, and I'm cold. My vision blurred. He's begging now; I hear panic in his voice. I'm lifted and carried away.

He holds me tight. “Please, _vhenan_. I'm sorry. Don't leave me.” His frantic whisper is the last thing I hear before darkness claims me.


	17. Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \--> Secrets and lies.

A low key buzzing sound reaches my ears and I stir. My mouth feels like cotton and swallowing bile in my mouth is hard, yet I try. After a few attempts I manage to form a soft moan between my lips. I feel a body at my side; pressed closely to me, heating me in a pleasant if not a bit overwhelming way. I try to open my eyes but it hurts, so I drop the idea.

My body absorbs some kind of energy; a steady and constant flow of it runs through every single cell making my body tingling all over. I like the feeling, so I stay low and decide to enjoy it for a bit longer.

Ah yes. I need to go to a bathroom. Like very shortly. I sigh. I can't have a moment of respite, can I?

My hand reaches out and is met with an arm encircling me. Holding me tight. I win the battle with my eyes to see a muscled arm just across my chest. It moves up and down with my breathing. The arm is attached to a body which I recognise as Solas. He's hot. Or I am. And someone is using magic, as I recognise the sensation, on me. Oh well, that would be him. My hand moves across his arm to his face, hidden in the crook of my neck. I have to turn to see his profile pressed so tightly against me.

“I would let him rest for a bit.” I hear soft spoken words from the opposite direction. I move my head as fast as I can to assess the situation and I see a young woman sitting at a table with cards in her hands. She stops her shuffling and looks at me and then at Solas. “He’s been asleep for an hour or two so far. And after the entire ordinance it was a challenge to convince him to have some rest.”

I observe her and notice the surroundings. I'm in an unfamiliar place; I've never been here before. My eyes take everything around as far as I can see. 

“W-who are you?” I manage to ask after some time.

“My name’s Monica, if you need to know. And you're Emily, as far as I remember from his pleading and wailing.” She nods her head towards the sleeping elf.

“How did I get here? I assume it's your place?”

“You're correct. I brought you here to… Do you remember what happened last night?” Her eyebrow arches.

I swallow and shake my head slightly. “No, not really.”

Her eyes go to the sleeping beauty and then come back to me. “’Tis better if he tells you then. I'm unsure of your relationship but it's obvious that he cares about you. It's for him to tell you.”

Her eyes get on a serious expression which somehow makes a cold shiver runs through me. It brings me back to my current state of need. Bathroom. Ah, I need to wake him up.

Monica stands up. “I'll put some clothes and a towel for you in the bathroom. I'm sure you'd like to clean up a bit.”

I'm left alone with him. Planting a small kiss to his cheek before running my hand along his arm I try to wake him up. My fingers run over the muscles on his forearm and I feel his grip only tighten. I sigh. This is going to be a challenge. I turn my body towards his and he mumbles incoherently while his leg, lying across me as well, pins me to him even more. I shake him then, saying his name. His eyes flutter for a moment but do not open. I pinch him and it wakes him up.

“ _Vhenan_.” The way he says it makes me smile. The sleep is still clinging to him but he fights it off. A happy smile appears on his lips before his eyes take me in and his brows furrow. He scans my face as if looking for something.

“How do you feel?” There's a certain edge to his voice. Anger? Curiosity? I cannot tell.

“I'm fine, Solas. I just need to go to the bathroom.” I inform him tugging on his forearm. He doesn't move. Shall I spell it for him then? Very well.

“Let me get up. I need to pee.”

Understanding finally hits him and he disentangles himself from me. I stand up slowly from the couch, testing my limbs as they seem to be a bit over sensitive. His hand supports my back; he keeps pouring his magic onto me.

“You can stop doing this now. I'm fine. And your magic makes me tingle all over.”

He peers into my face and takes a once over before retreating his hand. His magic leaves as well and I feel I can breathe freely. I can still feel it at the edges but it doesn't press at me anymore. A few initial steps and my body falls into the routine of walking. A lingering sensation of discomfort is unnerving and yet I get to the bathroom without further interruption. Once I manage to relieve myself a wall mirror catches my eye. I freeze. What the heck happened last night?

I can barely recognise myself. My face is covered in dirt and red smears. My dress is to be thrown away; not possible to salvage it. I look at my legs which are covered in slight bruises and dirt as well. A tiny whimper escapes me; I cover my mouth with my hand. Why don't I remember how this happened last night? I remember walking with Solas, his arm around me. We were going back to John's. How did we end up in here though? I run the water and use a cloth to clean myself a bit. The sink gets smudged with dirt and blood. I recoil. What happened? I feel myself panicking and brace against the sink. My breath hitches and I start panting as the level of unease goes up. I look at my reflection and notice my eyes seem slightly bluer than before. Or maybe it's a trick of the lighting. Concentrating on them I try to recollect the events from last night. I remember walking with Solas, hand in hand; us talking about him going back through the mirror; his arm squeezing my waist playfully; his body so close to me; then—

_… a barrel of a gun and a deafening sound…_

I scream.

“ _Vhenan_ , I'm here. It's ok. I'm here.” A pair of strong arms embraces me while I sink to the floor. He's talking in slow and measured words to calm me down. I squeeze my eyes and hide against his chest. I feel the regular beating of his heart and breathing. I hear a shuffling behind him and quiet words, “Do you need anything else?”

“Just give us a moment. Maybe if she could have some tea, a herbal one to relax her please.”

“Sure, will do.” With that she leaves if shuffling feet are any indication.

His hand on my back, caressing it in small circles. He stopped talking for the time being. I disengage myself from him eventually to look into his eyes. “What's happened?”

A sigh and look to one side. He doesn't want to lie neither tell the truth to not scare her off. Yet, she needs to know. Sooner or later she needs to know. It's hard to tell her something like that; something he did without her consent, well with only her half-aware consent. He had no choice, he repeats in his head. He could not lose her like that, not to his stupidity or a moment of hesitation. She may understand if he explains it properly though.

“It’s my fault. I should have not let this happen to you…” He starts hesitantly.

I look at him calmly although my heart picks up the speed.

“We were walking back to John's and we were stopped by some… strangers. They wanted to hurt you… and things got out of control. You got hurt and...fell unconscious. The young woman helped me to bring you here and tend to you.”

I blink once. Twice.

“Tell me the whole truth, Solas. Why am I covered in blood? Whose blood is it? I can't see any open wounds on me, so unless you healed me…?”

I can see him struggling with himself. Panic and fear flicks in his eyes. Then he sags on his haunches.

“I'm sorry _vhenan_ , I should have—

“The truth, not excuses!”

His lips a thin line. His hand scratches his head.

“The truth.” I bark. He flinches.

~

Loud screams and further arguing can be heard from the bathroom. Then a thud. Monica refrains from interfering knowing that they need to sort it out. She continues making a calming tea for Emily. Maybe she should make one for him as well?

~

I sit at the table playing with my tea cup. My finger goes around the brim and the handle to distract myself. Solas sits to my left, his body leaning slightly towards me. It's for my own protection, he said; I can become unpredictable if things get out of control. That's what he thinks. I refrain from judging. For now.

The young woman, Monica, sits at the other end of the table shuffling the cards. Then she starts laying them on the table.

“He needs you.” Her quiet voice makes me stop playing with the cup. “You'll be fine without him, you're strong enough to manage on your own. But he needs you more than he lets on.” She shakes her head before I get a chance to voice my question. “No, his need goes beyond that. He wants all of it.” Her eyes bore into mine as if she's trying to make me understand the hidden meaning.

“I will not deny that she's important to me. More than you may realise in fact.” He says, looking at Monica with furrowed brows. “It should be obvious to someone as… perceptive as you seem to be.”

I look at him then. He must feel my eyes on him as he turns to look at me. His gaze softens then. “Care to elaborate?” I ask but he only shakes his head.

Monica shuffles in her chair. “It seems that we have more in common that you think. More than the mere fact of being women that is. But,” she tilts her head to one side, looking at me apprehensively, “I don't think you're aware of that yet.”

“Can the two of you stop talking in riddles? I think I have enough on my plate as it is,” I declare frustrated. “And also a horrible headache.” I mumble.

Solas’ hand is immediately on my back. “Would you like me to take care of that?”

“No! Fuss’sake! I don't!” I yelled at him. “Don't you think you've done enough?”

His eyes show hurt before he turns his gaze away. I feel guilty for shouting at him, seeing that it hurts him that much. But I feel unease by the recent turn of events. And there's no way back. No way to undo what's been done to me. And I'm the only one who has to deal with it. And he's the one who made this decision. I'm trying to get my head around it as well as to understand his reasoning for doing so. Well I know his reasons for saving me; it's just frustrating that I had barely any say in that aspect. I know he did his best though...

My hand goes to him and caresses his forearm. He immediately turns to me.

“I'm sorry,” I whisper apologetically.

“Do you think I took pleasure in doing what I did? I had no choice as losing you cannot be a choice for me. And if I had to do it again, I would. I've never wanted to hurt you or to submit you to anything…of this kind. Please, try to— at least understand, if you cannot forgive me.” His voice is strenuous and laced with pain.

“I understand why you did it,” I admit moving my hand to lace with his. Our fingers entwine and he squeezes them gently, responding to my smile by giving a brilliant one; the one reaching his eyes, they crinkle in the corners. Encouraged by my action, he moves closer and touches my forehead with his.

“This is sweet. I can see that you want him as much as he wants you. And there's a possibility for you to be—“ Monica’s eyes widen for a few moments. Then she looks at the cards in front of her. Then back to Solas who is now regarding her curiously. His lips grazing the side of my forehead. “It has to be _her_ choice though, she shouldn’t be forced or manipulated into it. Remember your principles old man. She loves you enough to fight for what's right; for what she wants.”

He sighs against my forehead and then meets my questioning gaze.

“I want us to last forever, my heart.” He whispers.

My breath hitches as my chest tighten. For the love of everything out there… am I really to bond to the Dread Wolf? Like really? For as long as—?

I need some fresh air or I suffocate. I think I'm having a panic attack. To be bonded to another person, especially him, means to be, well, like married, right? And I swore myself that I would never do it again. Not after what's happened with David. Never! And yet, looking at Solas now and seeing the way he's looking at me, with such tenderness and adoration I can't help myself but imagine what it may be like?

“I've ordered you a taxi. It should arrive in 10 minutes.” Monica announces calmly. “I'm sure it's wiser to get one instead of walking even in the daylight. You never know what may happen…” She looks at me. Pointedly. She motions to the small table. My things from my handbag are there. I walk over and grab my phone. Seven missed calls and twelve texts. Scrolling through them I see that John was worried. And Lisa. And Charles. And Shaun. I sigh. How am I going to explain this to them?

A warm hand on my back. His thumb making small circles to calm me down.

“Is everything alright?” I turn to him to give a sarcastic reply but refrain from doing so. He looks tired and worried. Whatever happened cannot be undone, so the only viable way is to deal with it. No need to get my frustration out on him. Well, maybe later.

I shake my head. “Several missed calls and texts. They're worried. It's better if we go back.”

Monica walks us to the door. “We'll meet again. No need to thank me. It was,” she gives us a once over, “a refreshing experience after all. There's so much we don't know about this world.” She's lost in her thoughts for a moment. Then she shakes her head before continuing, “My advice for you is to find a focus. This will help in the other time and also with what you need to do. Also, don't pity him; the old man can handle more than you imagine.” She remarks with a smirk. Solas’ eyebrow rises at the comment but he remains silent.

I look back at her. “Thank you even so. And I look forward to meeting you again.”

On our way back I text John to let him know we're fine. He texts back straight away relieved that we were alive. If only he knew.

His housekeeper let us in and as we try to sneak upstairs to our respective rooms we are stopped by the man himself.

“I'm glad you're back and—“ he takes our dishevelled appearance in. He sighs. “We're in the back garden having barbecue. Join us once you're... ahh... presentable.”

Warm water running through my incredibly tired muscles is a blessing. I enjoy the feel of rivulets going down my back. And since I closed my eyes I don't see the water taking on a dark and murky colour. My hands full of soap travel the plain of my body as I clean myself; I'm still scarred to look at my body so I try to look with my hands alone. I feel slight muscles under my fingers which were not there before. My stomach has lost its small hill of wine and it's flat and hard. Since I've opened my eyes I can see my muscles on my thighs and calves. I feel sturdier and stronger.

I brace my hands flat on the wall while the water runs down my hair and back. I start sobbing. I still cannot remember what happened and the explanation Solas gave me it's not fully satisfying. I have holes in my memories and I feel I miss some vital information. My sobs turn into wailing as I'm scarred of barely recognising myself anymore; and with so many unanswered questions I feel lost.

I hoped that the water would cover my crying but I forgot about Elven hearing. His arms are around me in a heartbeat and I feel him pressing tight against my back. He's standing under the water with me while I shake with tears. After a very long while I finally get myself under control and stop sobbing. Then I realise that I feel fabric and not skin at my back. Curious, I look behind my shoulder to see him fully dressed. Well, his clothes are soaked now. I giggle and turn around in his arms pushing us away from the streaming water.

“You're supposed to take off your clothes before walking into a shower, Solas. I thought you'd have figured it out by now.”

He smiles at me tenderly. “I did not want to waste my time on that. You needed me more.”

“Hmm... so thoughtful. How shall I reward you?”

His gaze goes down my body as far as he can see as we're still inches away. “I think you can find a way or two to reward me for my assistance.”

“This is ridiculous. Take them off!” I shake my head laughing softly.

“Are you're certain you want me to do that?” His wandering hands caress my back. He leans towards my ear and nips it playfully, then his lips trail down to my chin stopping finally a breath from my mouth. He leans back, waiting for an answer. I nod and he steps away lowering his gaze down my front. His eyes darken and there's a mischievous glint in them. I swallow the lump in my throat as he slowly takes off his shirt and then trousers and his boxers in one go, throwing them in the corner. Looking at me intently. He's naked.

And I'm…

Flushed and wet.

My hungry eyes take him in. All of him. All the ripped muscles accentuated by the water. Oh my..

When our eyes meet I see the same hunger in his. They are dark as they greedily travel between my body parts and my eyes. He's not hiding that he's aroused if his laboured breathing and set jaw are any indications. Also his cock is fully erected, proudly pointing up.

We're standing at the other ends of the shower cabin and as spacious as it may seem it's still small, so we're at an arm’s reach. I can see him fighting for control, waiting to see who will give up first. I do the same. So it's a standstill. A very hard... situation.

_He's touching me now. His hand sneaks under my ass cheek and he lifts my leg to wrap it around his waist as he sinks his length deeper inside me. My hand caresses his bald head and he groans whenever I use my nails on his scalp. I moan and tilt my head back giving him more access to my neck. He continues lavishing it thoroughly while slowly rocking above me. I cling with my other hand to the cool sheet trying to ground me so the friction is more precise. It feels so good to finally having him inside me; hearing him moaning my name as the waves of pleasure wash over us. He shivers and pants and talks dirty in Elven and I…_

..blink and look in front of me. My imagination got better of me, I see. Solas is braced on the cabin glass but I can see cracks in his resolve. He wets his lips and pushes himself off the wall. The distance is closed with only two small steps. He's close and his chest even closer. His rigid cock brushing my belly button. His eyes meet mine in silent question. Letting me decide.

My breath is still ragged as I put my hand on his chest and... push him away.

“You better clean yourself, Solas. Others are waiting for us.” I give him once over and leave the shower cabin. A soft thud of his head against the glass and a groan of frustration make me smile. I won.

Looking through a window in my room I see Shaun and Victor talking animatedly with John. It seems they're arguing. John shakes his head before walking away. Yvonne approaches them handling a tray with drinks. I see that she plays the housekeeper role again. She loves helping even in a small way. Tom passes her staring at his phone. Ah, he plays the game again. I smile.

“I'll be right back, _ma lath_.” I hear his voice in my ear while his arms encircle me for a moment. “Just going to put some clothes on.” His arms retreats and I turn around just in time to look at the muscles of his back and calves. He's wearing only a towel. Yummy.

~

“You gave us a fright, my dear. At least you should have told us you'd be skipping breakfast so we don't go frantically looking after two of you...”

“Shaun, just let it go. They're here now—“ John tries to placate him.

“It needs to be said. We were worried about them. You were worried and saying what you'd do once they're back. And now you act as if it was ok to disappear on us for God knows where to and ignoring our calls and texts! Don't tell me it's alright.”

John sighs and keeps his gaze on his drink. We sit around the picnic table being subjected to their questioning; which is understandable considering that we disappeared yesterday afternoon and reappeared after twenty four hours. With the looks John gives me, he’s really been worried. He glances at Solas with questions in his eyes.

“It's my fault actually.” Solas says with a sigh. “I insisted on seeing some of my friends and got too inebriated to come back, so we stayed over and simply overslept. I apologise for worrying you and not letting you know.”

I regard him with thinned lips. Really? That's the best he can think of? Well... it's plausible at least. And they do not know his friends so… He notices my glare and lightly squeezes my fingers. It's alright, let them blame me, his expression says.

“It's irresponsible of you to drag Joy into this,” Charles comments, sitting across from me, worry written all over his face.

“She's not five though! She can take care of herself, so stop it,” Becky mumbles while serving herself another piece of grilled mushroom.

“I agree. Just let them be,” John nods in agreement and stands up to pour us more drinks. “Unless you have aversion to drinking after last night?” A smart glint in his eyes tells me he did not buy Solas’ story.

“I'll stick to the Shandy, if I may.” I reply having a battle of glares with him. He moves to Solas. “And you?”

He swallows and glances at me briefly. “I'll have some Scotch, please.”

~

The afternoon passes quickly and everyone gets full of food and drink. Charles stops his scowling at Solas and talks to Shaun about a trip to the mountains next month. Victor joins in and they start making plans.

Becky and Yvonne are nowhere to be seen at the moment. I'm sure that Bex is trying to get the other girl into trouble.

Lisa sits quietly at the moment, chuckling at whatever she's been reading on her phone. If I didn't know better I would have suspected something involving a guy. Probably a naked one.

Solas walks next to Tom, both staring at the young’s man phone. He's talking quietly to Solas who nods and smiles in return. I bet he explains him the game. And I bet Solas is fascinated by seeing a world on top of the real one.

I stand by the makeshift bar, pouring myself some orange juice. I feel full and happy at the moment. Whatever ill —or —side effects I felt after waking up are gone. Seeing my friends all together, laughing and talking, makes me warm at heart. I might have not been here after all, so I tend to appreciate the chance to see them and being-

“So, care to tell me what _really_ happened to you two last night?” John leans over the bar and gives me a hard look.

I sigh.


	18. Eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \--> Late night talks between sheets.
> 
> aka. a lot of fluff and hugging.

A soft knock on my door while I am changing to my PJ. It's a warm night so I wear only a top and shorts for bed. This better be important and not inconvenient. As much as I love my friends they became a bit too sensitive when it came to my well-being. And Solas. Blaming him, as if I were not as guilty. I sigh and walk over to the door.

He leans against the doorframe and a smirk appears on his face at seeing my outfit. His eyes are bemused and hold my questioning gaze for a few moments before he inhales and pushes himself off the doorframe.

“Is there something I can do for you?” A quirked eyebrow. A tentative step towards me and I open the door wider to let him in. He helps me to close it faster. His hand next to mine on the door at which he looks contemplating something before moving his gaze onto me. His hand follows and grabs my chin, tilting my head up to meet his needy lips. The caress of his tongue along my lower lip makes me moan and he smiles into the kiss. His tongue retreats as well as his mouth.

“I've missed you,” he sighs leaning his forehead against mine.

“You saw me barely an hour ago,” I muse.

“Seems like eternity _ma lath_.” Soft eyes caress my face. Warm hands encircle my waist bringing me flush against him when he kisses me tenderly. I submit to his will as I know he likes being in control. Our tongues dance together and the pleasant heat spreads throughout my body, making me want to get closer to him. He seems interested in continuing where we left off under the shower, if the way he wraps his body around me is any indication. And I can feel his length gliding against my thigh, getting harder with each passing minute. I hum appreciatively into his mouth. It makes him lean back to look at my face.

“What are you planning on, Sweet Kisser?”

He smiles, “I want to fall asleep holding you in my arms _vhenan_.”

“Is that _all_ you want?” Teasing in my voice makes him chuckle.

“No. But it will do for tonight.” He admits stepping away and guiding me to bed.

He lays down and opens his arms for me. I take the invitation and nestle myself comfortably against him. I hear him sighing happily once I've wrapped my arm around his waist and my leg landed between his muscled thighs. He wastes no time and kisses me again, controlling the kiss with one hand in my hair and other very low on my back. I retaliate by moving my knee up and down; his cock stirs and he groans into my mouth.

“ _Emma lath_ , that's hardly fair.”

“What made you think I'd be playing fair?” My hand joins my knee and he jerks before hissing and grabbing my hand in his. Suddenly, I'm under him; pinned to the mattress with his body. He pants heavily and looks with fury into my eyes.

“Don't toy with me _ma lath_. I have great self-control but you can rend me to lose it so easily. And I wouldn't want to hurt you…”

“You would never hurt me, Solas. I know you wouldn't,” I tell him vehemently to which he furrows his eyebrows.

“You don't know what I'm capable of, love. You should— I should— I…” His eyes get a bit glazed.

“Solas, whatever's happened it's done. And I know you'd no choice, so stop pitying yourself. And...” I look at him pointedly, “maybe I'd like to be…manhandled a bit.”

His Adam’s apple bobs a couple of times as he swallows hard. His eyes are wide and look at me with disbelief. I smirk, certain of having an upper hand again.

He shoves himself between my thighs and I can feel his length at my core. His hands grab mine and he puts them at the sides of my head. His lips hoover above mine while his heated gaze trails my face. Then he rocks slowly against me. Still looking at me intently.

“Be careful what you wish for _vhenan_. I may be willing to give you exactly what you desire.”

My moaning only encourages him to continue. But then… he stops suddenly. He sighs and closes his eyes. His nostrils still flare when he grunts, “I wanted to fall asleep with you and not fuck you, love. Let's get ourselves under control and… return to the original plan.”

“You… don't want to fuck me?” I ask a bit out of breath.

“Of course I do! But not like that. I want us to have time; whole day if possible,” he explains while disengaging himself and arranging us in previous positions. “Do you really think I'll be satisfied taking you once or twice?”

I look at him all flushed and needy. What is he talking about? Is he a machine or his stamina is—?

“You're bluffing. You may manage three times but that's it.” I say smiling sweetly at him.

His eyes roam my faces before he settles his head on a pillow with his lips on my forehead. Then he chuckles.

“You'll see for yourself, I can promise you that.”

I swallow loudly and he chuckles again.

“How many times?” I ask after a moment of quiet.

He chuckles. “As many times as I can _ma lath_.”

“Three then. Maybe four.” I declare.

He chuckles again. “You'll see. But more than four.” He muses against my forehead. His lips plant small kisses along my brows and he tilts my head with his hand to slowly kiss my lips. “And I'm not going to declare how many times you're going to come, love. I think I'll make you _beg_ me to stop lavishing you,” he murmurs in my ear.

I gasp and giggle hiding in the crook of his arm which tighten around me.

“Sleep _vhenan_. You need to rest.”

Sleep is elusive for a long while. I observe our intertwined hands moving up and down with his measured breathing. His fingers are long and easily envelop my small hand. The quiet of the night helps me to relax and finally I succumb to the dreaming world.

~

I wake up with a gasp in the middle of the night. The clock on the nightstand shows it's barely after three in the morning. I sit and rub my temples, feeling disquiet. Looking to my left I see Solas stirring, his hand extends towards me.

“Can't sleep?” His voice is hoarse.

“No, it's just—“ I shake my head.

“Tell me, _ma vhenan,_ what is troubling you.” He murmurs, moving to sit next to me. His arm around me.

“I don't actually remember. Or maybe I don't want to. All I know is that it makes me feel...uneasy. As if I were somewhere I should not be...or... I don't really know.” I shake my head again.

We sit in silence for a moment. I can feel his gaze on me and I'm not surprised to see worry in it.

“Do you think it may be a… side-effect of last night?”

He sighs. “Quite possible. Your body needs time to adjust and you may experience some…unusual occurrences of behaviour. That's why it's best if I stay nearby just in case you need some assistance.”

I tilt my head as a curious question pops in my mind. I look at him for a very long while and he looks back at me. Soft smile on his lips.

“You can always ask me, love.” He prompts.

“Do you feel it? A bit maybe?”

“I can recognise it as something familiar,” he admits slowly, “but I don't have full insight into it. Similarly, I can feel your emotions if you don't guard yourself but I cannot influence them.”

“So…”

“You're still you, Emily. _That_ did not change.”

I sight and look aside. Am I really just me or someone else now? I feel different, stronger, quicker. What will be the final outcome of this, whatever this is. Craziness, if I understand correctly. Will he still want me afterwards? Will I want him? I need some reassurance, something to ground me so I can see the basics. I feel too volatile and energetic even to sleep. In fact I don't want to sleep...

“Can I ask you a question, Solas?” I touch his cheek and he leans towards my hand, nodding.

“I've always wondered if you…recruited Abelas after Daeva drank from the Well.”

Upon hearing the sentinel’s name he stills. Ah, I surprised him then. He eyes me for a moment and then relaxes, pondering his reply for a while.

“Yes, I have. He's been helping me for the last two years in fact. I suspect he's waiting for me in the camp near the eluvian in Arbor Wilds. That's where I asked him to be.”

I'm surprised that he shares that much information with me. And apparently is waiting for more questions. I press my luck.

“How long will he wait?”

“As long as it's needed, I presume.” He shrugs.

“Really? What if…you don't go back?”

“Then it would no longer matter whether he still awaits me.”

I blink. He didn't say that.

“You don't care anymore?”

“I do care, _vhenan_. It's just... Sometimes things need a shove and sometimes they just happen and we do not have any control over them.” He looks at me with sadness. “We deal with them as they come, doing our best and hoping it would be enough.” A quick kiss to my temple.

“I assume that other sentinels also joined you. And you have been gathering other elves… Have you told them the truth? About the Veil and…the rest?”

“I have,” he nods then turns his gaze away from me. “Most of them know what is to come. They understand the risks and what may possibly happen...”

“The end of the world as they know it,” I whisper and meet his sad eyes. He nods.

“What is it like? To live as long as you have…”

A sad smile lingers on his face. “Lonely,” he declares eventually. “But...” his hand caresses my cheek, “no more. I don't feel that way anymore. I have you, my heart.”

“But if you…go back…and I—“ I can't say it. I see understanding in his eyes. And something else. Expectation. His gaze is calm and full of-

I gasp. “You want me to go with you...” The realisation comes as a whisper at night. It was always there; I just couldn't see it. I stand up and start walking around the room. Then stop and stare at him with blank expression.

“Yes, _ma vhenan_. I want you to come with me.” He confirms my suspicions.

It's so absurd that I start laughing hard. My laughter feels like chocking; waves of panic wash over me; I laugh and cry at the same time. “I can't! It's ridiculous! Even putting aside the fact that I would have not survived a day in Thedas I couldn't- And you with a human? The Dread Wolf falling for a _shemlen_? That would be something… No, it's ridiculous. No. It's— no.” I stop again and look at him trying to get my bearings. He lets me calm down and gets up to walk over to me once I've got control over myself.

“Does it bother you that I'm…an elf?” He asks eyeing me curiously. I shake my head. He sighs relieved.

“So why should it bother me that you're human?”

I shake my head again. “In the sea of elves surrounding you I'd be like a single thorn. And I will stand out of the crowd. That alone can cause problems and I…wouldn't want to get between…things,” I whisper more to myself than to him.

“My love, they will accept you the way you are,” he reassures me.

“You cannot be that naïve to really think that. And they will judge you because of it as well.”

He sighs and rubs his head. “They judge me no matter what I do, _vhenan_. If anything, life taught me to leave people to their own convictions and beliefs and continue on my path. There will always be those unsatisfied no matter what I do. And I won't let them dictate and decide about my personal affairs,” his gaze is heated and eyebrows furrowed. He leans closer, “They will learn to accept you and respect you, my heart. I will not allow it any other way.”

His hands brush away the strands of hair from my face putting it behind my ears. They fall down again, he smiles and tries again. I giggle.

“My ears are too small to keep my hair at bay. You can try all you might, they will not listen.”

“Hmm, I find your ears perfect _ma lath_. Just like the rest of you.” His comment makes me blush and him to kiss my flushed cheek. “And I could spend a whole day to play with them.”

“They're not as sensitive as elven ones I presume.” I tease, worrying my lower lip. His gaze moves to my mouth.

“Hmm, I mean to find out one day…among other things.” His pupils dilate and a smirk graces his lips. I flush even more. How can he do such things to me? And he knows the effect he has on me, oh yes.

“ _Dre’ghan valer no’main,”_ he whispers against my lips.

I giggle at the words. “Is that the truth?”

“Yes. No other woman was ever able to make me lose control so easily.”

“I bet you have met many women…”

“Ah. Will you hold that against me?” There's worry in his eyes. I shake my head. Why would I? He lived long enough to have met many women throughout the years. His hand caresses my cheek and then his mouth trails along my chin and jaw ending its journey at my lips.

“ _Vhenan_ , let's go to bed. You still need to rest.” He employs while guiding me back to lay next to him.

I'm caressing his chest, trying my best to fall asleep. A sudden thought occurs to me.

“Do you think I'll be able to meet Fenris?”

“Who's Fe— ah, Varric’s friend. If our paths ever cross…but why would you want to meet him?”

“Oh, I don't know. Maybe because I have a penchant for broody and dangerous elves?” I mumble against his shirt.

“I am not broody, love.”

“Well, at least you admit that you're dangerous,” I squeeze him. He sighs.

“I've never claimed that I wasn't. And now even more.”

“Because of…Mythal’s power and the Anchor?” I brace myself on my forearm to look into his eyes. He scans my face slowly.

“Because I have something more personal to fight for and protect. And if anyone tries to harm you I will not hesitate this time.”

I hold his heavy gaze for a long moment. I know what he's referring to.

“I'm sorry to have stopped you back then—“

“No love, don't apologise. You were trying to protect me and my secret. You thought it would not end up the way it did. It was their choice to be there that night; their choice of wanting to harm you; their choice to have weapons. And they deserved their end.” His eyes are understanding and yet there's coldness in them. I realise that it wasn't first time he killed someone; and probably not the last one.

“What's happened to them, Solas? You said they would hurt nobody else but… what did you do exactly?”

“They are no more. You know… what I can do. You saw the way I fight now. They were… I terrified them and then… removed the evidence, as per Monica’s advice. I think that was a sound advice in retrospective.”

Somehow the thought of him killing another person does not terrify me, I know it should but it doesn't. Am I still considering him being part of my imagination? Yet, laying next to him and feeling his muscled body and being enveloped in its warmth does make him more real. Or maybe…I have accepted all of it and it doesn't scare me. I know it should but… Maybe my moral compass got screwed up the other night; maybe that's another side effect of being brought back from the brink of death with magic. I sigh before looking back at him. He observes me with quietness so like him. Once I hold his gaze he reaches out and trace my chin and my cheek with his fingers. Then his thumb caresses my lips just with feather-like touch. It makes me shiver and I smile.

“ _Ar lath ma_ ,” he says quietly, stealing my breath away.

Just like that. He said it. Just now.

I look at him and cannot comprehend what he sees in me. Physical attraction may be explainable but the fact that he loves me is… well… I don't know how to explain it.

There's a bit of worry in his eyes when he asks, “ _Vhenan_ , do you know what I said?”

I nod still unable to trust my voice. He smiles then reaches out and weaves his hand in my hair to bring me to him. The kiss is tender and sweet, making me tremble all over; he senses it and stops to look at me with worry in his eyes.

“N-no, it's not…that. I'm fine.” I shake my head. “It's just you said that you lo— ahh…” My teeth catch my lower lip and I look away.

He rolls us over and then hovers above me trying to peek into my face.

“ _Vhenan_ , it's not like it was the first time I said it,” he hums against my cheek.

“Yes, it was,” I say resolutely which makes him stop and regard me for a few moments.

“What about all those time I called you _my heart_. Or _my love_. Is it not the same?” His eyes are serious.

“We tend to use ‘love’ and ‘dear’ on a regular basis even to people we barely know. It doesn't carry the same meaning but…” I sigh and try to look away again. He catches my chin between his fingers and guides me to look at him.

“ _Ma vhenan_ , I would not called you that without really meaning it. You are the one to command my heart. I offer it to you if you accept it. You are the one to occupy my thoughts and dreams and my heart beats for you. Forever, if you're willing.” His stormy eyes scan my face. “I love you, Emily. Don't ever doubt that.”

And here I am again. Fighting for another breath. Looking into his eyes which gaze at me with adoration and tenderness; and trying to understand the gravity of his statement makes me want to—  What? Run away? Burst with joy and laugh? I'm not sure. So… I just continue looking at him; taking him all in, trying to memorise every single detail. Dayum…he's beautiful.

My sigh makes him chuckle.

“What are you thinking of, _ma vhenan’ara_?”

“I'm thinking about going back home tomorrow.” He quirks his eyebrow at the change of subject.

“Ah, I see. Does it mean…it's going to be just the two of us?” His gaze is hopeful and mischievous.

I nod. Then realise what he means when a wolfy grin appears on his face.

“Well then… I hope to keep my word about the subject we breached earlier tonight. This I recommend to get more sleep.”

“I have some work to check for next Monday, Solas. Don't expect me to babysit you…”

“I'm sure I can take care of myself quite well,” he admits smugly. “Besides I plan on making myself occupied with finding out on how to…” he drags me towards him so we end up in the original positions, “satisfy you, little minx.”

I giggle into his arm which tightens around me.

“Sleep _emma lath_ … we both need this.”


	19. Nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \--> Full of surprises life is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation: “La vie peut être vraiment chienne. Les accolades aux fous de l’amour.”  
> Life can really be shitty. Homage to the idiots in love. (loose translation)  
> The sentences written in italic and marked with double quotation marks are to be said in Elven.

I can't comprehend what I’m hearing. I stare at Steve and try to remain calm. He's explaining what happened to Maya last night but I keep staring at him resisting the understanding of the news.

She has been in a car accident and taken to hospital. Somehow her daughter was involved in all this. Steve does not want to say a bad word about the daughter so he evades direct questions. I learn the name of the hospital and am currently changing from my travel clothes before setting off to see her. Solas is making us coffee.

“There you go.” He hands me the cup, lightly kissing my temples. “I thought you may need a stronger one to keep you awake.”

I hum at his thoughtfulness. He doesn't complain, just takes a quick shower, changes his clothes, and gets ready for the trip. We barely spent thirty minutes at home before we set off again. The drive is quiet and we arrive at the hospital within an hour. After some hassle we are permitted to the ward where Maya lays. She is not allowed any visitors yet but I spot her daughter, Ana, outside her room.

“How is she?” I ask walking over. The girl, barely over eighteen, jumps at the sight of me and bursts into tears. I spend the next half an hour on calming her down. Solas comes back with more coffees and juice from the canteen.

“I should have not done it. She was so unhappy with me and I just panicked and left her—“ she is frantic.

“Ana, tell me what's happened. From the beginning.”

“I'm sorry, it's my fault. She caught me using the guest house again and I broke the Indian vase you have there…I'm sorry. She was very angry with me and I got scared that she would found out that…there was a boy with me. So I shouted at her and they left in a hurry. She dropped everything to rush out after me. She asked me to stop and talk to her. But I just started running and got into my friend’s car and he drove off. I guess she took her own and was trying to catch me. Maybe she drove too fast or.. I don’t know. I heard sirens after we stopped and I got a bad feeling and went to see. The ambulance was taking her to hospital at that point. She was covered in blood and her hand was broken… I should have...” She starts sobbing again and I hold her close.

“It’s ok. You will explain that to her once she's woken up. It’s gonna be fine Ana, you'll see.”

“It's my fault.”

“We all make mistakes. Nobody's perfect. It's just what makes us human. And if you want to do better then you need to own it. Take responsibility for your actions and remedy the situation.”

She looks at me with tired eyes. “She's going to be so furious about Danny.”

“Who's Danny? Is that the boy you been with?”

She nods. “He's a bit older than me… and I'm afraid that mum will not accept that.”

“The age doesn't matter usually… although in your case,” I sigh, “how old is he?”

She worries her lip and looks at Solas who sits next to us. His face is calm and his eyes show understanding. He's smiling. Our knees touch slightly, so I know that he's there.

She returns his smile timidly and then replies, “He's twenty five.”

I groan.

“Oh my, she's going to be furious.”

“You just said that age doesn't matter!”

“Later on, it doesn't. When you're older and more experienced. But you are so young and seven years of age difference is a lot...”

“Why? Because he's too old? You can't fault me for liking him as you... also like older guys.” She looks pointedly at Solas. He continues smiling softly. Oh, if only she knew the truth.

“It's more about his goals rather than him being older. I guess that he finished his education?”

“Well... yes. He's a newly appointed teaching assistant at Michigan University. He came over to write his thesis so he's not stupid or anything. He knows so much... you would like him… he can talk for hours about his work and plans and everything...” Her eyes get dreamy. Ah, she's in love.

“Wait, is he from America?” She nods. I groan again.

“So he won't be staying here long? What, six months I assume?” She nods again. I refrain from groaning.

“La vie peut être vraiment chienne. Les accolades aux fous de l’amour.”

Solas chuckles while Ana furrows her brows.

“I know a tiny bit of French but I didn't get it.”

“Good.” I nod. “Let's talk about you both in my guest house then.”

She shies away and bits her lip. “I'm sorry. Mum said you'd be furious if you knew. I never thought it would end up like that. And I'm sorry about the vase.”

“Ok. First thing first. I'm not furious that you used the house. You've done it before so I don't mind. What I _do_ mind is you inviting a guy, you barely know, into _my_ house. I understand your friends and stay-in overnight as it is always fun. But a guy alone with you, no. It only means what I think it does.” I look at her pointedly.

She sighs. “Yes, it does. But don't tell my mum... she would freak out.”

I look briefly at Solas. He grins. I roll my eyes at him. Men.

“You're eighteen. You allowed having sex. It's just… I don't feel comfortable him being there while there's nobody else around. I know your girlfriends but not him. _That_ makes a difference to me.”

She looks sheepishly now. I don't want to lecture her but I am not happy that a stranger was in my house. It's a remote location, far from other settlements, and thinking about her alone with this Danny plays a variety of scenarios in my head. What if he did something to her, there wouldn't be anyone else around to help her and she could end up—

A warm hand lands on my knee, squeezing it gently. I look up and see worry in his eyes. Ah, he can sense my distress. I take a few calming breaths. It helps to feel him pouring a bit of magic onto me. I turn back to Ana. 

“That's nice.” She smiles, looking between us.

“Yeah,” I admit looking at Solas again. “He's very thoughtful in everything he does.” He squeezes my knee again and I cover his hand with mine.

“But Ana… what do you think Danny wants from you? Is it temporary or he hopes for more?”

“He's talking about buying a house and settling down. It's not like he wants to do it straight away... he's considering his options.”

“I assume that he wants that house to be in Michigan and not here?”

She nods. I pat her knee. “Alright, we'll see how it goes… Did he contact you after yesterday?”

“Yeah, but I told him to stay away for a while. He wanted to be here but I… don't know. I was scared and didn't want my mum to see him yet. I'm…”

“Right, OK. When is aunt Maggie coming then?”

“She should be here tomorrow morning if-“

The doctor approached us at this moment. “Excuse me... Ana, your mother just woke up and is asking after you. I thought it would be good for her to see you now.”

The girl jumps to her feet and runs to Maya’s room. The doctor turns to us and we stand up.

“How is she?” I ask.

“She's fine. She really was lucky to have only a rib and her arm broken. After a few weeks she should be healed. Now she needs to rest.”

I nod exhaling a relieved breath. “Thank you, doctor.”

We are left alone. I look at Solas who observes me with kind eyes.

“You care about her.” He states, taking my hand and weaving our fingers together.

“Sometimes, I think she's like a guardian of mine, trying to protect me from the outside world. Other times she's like my best friend with all her warmth and selflessness. She's a good person; I would not want to lose her.”

He's thoughtful for a moment. “Shall I help?” He tilts his head.

It takes me a few seconds to realise what he means. My eyes widen and I smile. “If you can do it inconspicuously and without too much flare than yes, by all means. Just don't perform a miracle as doctors would be too surprised to believe it occurred naturally. But,” I lower my voice even more and close the distance between us, “if you can accelerate her healing a bit… I would be grateful.”

His hands encircle my waist and he leans towards my ear. “I didn't offer it because I want a gratification. But if you offer something… ehmm… pleasant in return,” he leans back to show me the grin on his face, “I won't stop you, _vhenan_.”

“Ass,” I whisper. He chuckles. Eyes dancing with mischief.

We stare at each other grinning madly. It last for a few moments before I sigh and break the eye contact.

“I'm sorry. I know you wanted today to be just us and not—“

“No, _vhenan_. This is important. And right for you to do it. You care about your friends and family. It's good to see. I love that about you. You leave your own needs behind and do what's right. That's admirable. Maybe because I would do the same thing.”

“My own needs?” I ask playfully.

“Well, am I to be mistaken by thinking you don't want me to spend a whole night on pleasuring you?” His voice a whisper thrumming with a teasing vibe makes me shiver all over. Down to the core. How is it that he can rend me speechless and trembling with only his voice? Also the mental images I have now of two of us together make me more flushed with every passing minute. I probably whimper at some point as he leans over me with laboured breath.

“I'll make good on my word _ma lath_. You'll beg me to stop… and I will… but only so you can rest before we restart.”

I definitely whimper this time, sighing his name into his mouth between kisses. He doesn't mind showing his affection in public, it seems. His broad shoulders hover around me protectively and he leans over me to cover me from any onlookers. I can't have enough of his kisses. Slow and tender and passionate. Yet so controlled. He's smiling into the kiss before pulling away and touching my forehead with his.

“ _Ar lath ma,”_ he breathes while I try to get my bearings. The time stops and I count the freckles across his face; I get to twenty eight before we are interrupted.

“Ehm… Joy? Mum would like to see you.” Ana appears a few feet away, looking curiously at us.

“Yes, of course. Lead the way,” I nod to her and we follow.

~

“Have you spoken to him again?” I look at the girl while she arranges the cushions on the couch in my guest house.

We returned from hospital and took Ana with us, promising Maya to take care of her until her aunt arrives tomorrow. Solas also volunteered to make some pancakes as the hospital food was not much to Maya’s liking. I helped the girl to clean up the guest house which also gave me a chance to talk to her in private. Solas was currently cooking dinner as we were planning on having a movie night.

“Yes. He's worried but I told him to wait a couple of days before seeing me. I need to tend to my mum now.”

“Since she didn't mention anything I assume you didn't tell her.”

She shakes her head in reply. I sigh. This is not going to be easy. Maya is going to—

“The way he's looking at you… it's so intense.” She smiles mischievously. “I've seen lust but he—he seems to love you.” She hugs a cushion tightly.

“He does, yes.” I admit, curious where she's going with it.

Ana looks around the place and then I hear her say, “I bet he is good in bed. Probably very willing to give pleasure and—very passionate and intense. Wild maybe…”

“I bet he is,” I chuckle lightly...

_…his hands move under my shirt lifting it up to expose my breasts to him. He groans at the sight and lower his mouth to trails kisses between them. The shirt lands on the floor next to his own, taken off in a hurry. Thirsty hands caress my sides while his mouth maps the valley of my raising chest. I feel his hot breaths and wet tongue leaving trails in a pattern only known to him. The sounds coming from his mouth, something between groans and soft whisper of my name make me arch my back and close the distance to reach for his—_

I almost choke. Heaving breaths to get my bearings. Dreaming awake again? Of Solas and me? What brought this on… ah, she mentioned it and I started imagine it. Well done. Now I want him. Argh.

Her phone rings then. I look around and decide that we have finished. I wave at her letting her know that I'm going to the house and see her at dinner.

Sweet potatoes and thyme, that's what I can smell, walking quietly into the kitchen. His back is to me as he chops some vegetables and herbs. Leaning against the counter I observe his precise movements while he adjusts the temperature in the oven and under the pans.

“Your help would be appreciated _vhenan_ ,” his melodic voice reaches me. He doesn't turn and yet I know he's smiling. Moving closer, I embrace him from behind and squeeze him tightly. He hums happily and leans against me.

“How did it go?”

I let go of him and grab a spoon to stir the pasta in the pan.

“She'll be fine. In time. I'm more worried that she decides to drop her studies to go with him. I don't think Maya would want that.”

“Would that be bad?”

“She's young and inexperienced. I'm unsure if she knows what she wants yet from life. I know she's in love,” I turn to look at him, holding my hand up, “but she might be better if—honestly I don't know anymore.” I sigh.

“Are you looking at her life through the experience of your own?” Raised eyebrow tells me he came to the same conclusion as I did.

“Maybe,” I admit. “But at least David encouraged me to finish my education. I guess he didn't want me to drop it for him. Still, he also wanted me to play house, so I sometimes felt like working two shifts. Most of the time I was so absorbed in my… responsibilities that I forgot about my own life. And didn't see him turning his gaze to another.” I shake my head in dismay. The memories are not happy ones; it still hurts to think about him.

“Did he… do anything to you?” His eyes show concern.

“He wasn't abusive or anything physical but wanted too much of me, I guess.”

“You don't have to tell me if you're not ready _vhenan_.”

“No, I guess it's good as any time.” I shrug and continue.” I lost my parents during my first year of uni and David was my rock at that time. He supported me and helped me get through the painful time. We lived together and tried to be mature and responsible adults. He was on his second year so he knew where to go, how to arrange things… Before I knew it, we had a small flat and moved in. Just the two of us. We were planning on having a house on our own one day. I continued to study and running the house which with time was busy with his friends coming over more and more. I was happy to help and concentrated so much on him that I lost track of my own needs. I didn't have any real friends. I had colleagues from uni and some acquaintances but I did not let anybody get too close. That was a mistake…” I stop talking and try to calm myself while washing lettuce leaves in the sink. Solas hand is on my lower back, his thumb making small circles.

“So when I caught him with… the other girl I didn't have anybody to turn to. I found myself alone. All friends were his and not mine.” I laugh with bitterness and fall silent again.

A few moments pass before I chance to look at him. He observes me quietly, letting me decide if I want to tell him more. Well, any time is good to let it fly. It's better for him to learn it from me that someone else.

“I thought we had it all. He'd got a good job I was finishing my studies… and we were looking towards better future together. Or at least I was. I probably wouldn't have known for quite a while but things happened.” I muse to myself, moving to the fridge and getting bottle of rosé out of it. I fill the glasses. He doesn't refuse when I hand him one. I take a sip. Fruity notes swirl on my tongue.

“It's because of rosé that I found out eventually. We were celebrating the end, I mean ‘we’ as my fellow students and me, we just graduated and went out for couple of drinks. David was to join us later on. Chance or fate wanted things to happen. Earlier that day I paid a deposit on a new flat David and I were planning on moving to. So I was ecstatic. I graduated, I had plans on how to decorate the apartment playing in my head and I was trying to unwind. But… I spilled some wine down my dress and decided to pop into our flat to change. We were going to be out the whole evening and half the night probably, so I didn't want to do it with a big stain in front of my dress. When I got home I—“ my voice weavers and I swallow a lump before continuing.

“...I saw them. Naked. In our bed. Fucking. When I crossed the threshold I thought David was watching porn or something but this… was worse. I knew her. They worked together. We went out a couple of times and she came to our flat before. I didn't know how many times until he admitted it went for six months at least. And—“ a long breath, “there were others before her. I ran out and left. I didn't take a single thing from the house. With the little money I had on me I rented a room in a motel and drank myself to unconsciousness. I didn't see David until divorce started. But then I've already had John and others.”

His jaw is tense; I bet he grinds his teeth.

“ _Baruth aman deh’la_.”

“Yes, please. Swear more. It's not worse what I called him to his face. And he knew he deserved it.” I shrug at his calling David the worst of his kind.

Relaxing his jaw he tries to smile. “ _I should remember you understand Elven.”_

“ _Well, an interesting addition to the list of my skills, don't you think?_ ” I ask teasingly.

“It is, indeed.” He smiles. “You've been full of surprises since I met you, _vhenan_.”

“I hope to always have something special to surprise you with, Sweet Kisser.”

He shakes his head. “No need, _lath_. All I want is you to be by my side. Always.”

“I'll see what I can do about it then,” I nudge him and go for another sip of rosé.

~

A long finger traces the bridge of his nose, then his eyebrow and trails down along left cheek towards his mouth. It quirks when the travelling finger reaches his mouth and he pursues it in order to catch the intruder with his teeth. She hisses and giggles quietly. Turning onto his left side his eyes takes the unruly woman in. Beautiful, breath-taking, and yet so tired. She timidly tries to engage him although she fights with the need to sleep. Putting an arm around her, he brings her closer and inhales her scent. Fruity, like peach and lemon, and a bit of vanilla. He loves when she washes her hair. It smells of pine and forest and freedom to him. Arms form a loose cage to keep her steady, regular breathing is to lull her away. She still resists. Stubborn woman. _Ma asha. Vhenan_ , he enjoys saying that.

“Thank you for your help today Solas,” she says barely above a whisper.

“You're welcome, love.”

“I'm afraid that tomorrow may look the same. There's still so much to do.” A note of whining in her voice makes him chuckle.

“We'll be fine. The most important thing is that Maya is recovering quickly.”

She hums into his chest before her wandering lips nibble at his throat. Pulse quickening he tries to catch himself from feeling pleasure of her touch going straight to his groin. No chance. Light touches and warm breaths against his skin have an unintended effect on him. A defeated sigh escapes his mouth, feeling her humming against his skin. Little minx. Were she not so tired he might have indulge himself in bringing her pleasure but knowing that she's exhausted, he refrains. There will be time for this yet. And then he—he will do it properly. A wide grin blooms on his face while his greedy hands tighten around her small form. She lost weight, he remarks to himself, making a mental note to look into her eating habits.

For now, he needs to make her fall asleep. Even if he has to resort to magic. After all she enjoys his touch. Magical touch. Slow and measured tendrils of magic leave his hands and he hears her humming against his chest. She fights the feeling for a few minutes before succumbing to the dream world. He observes her, making sure she's asleep before following in her footsteps.


	20. Twenty.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \--> Seeing is believing, they say.

“No way! Have you seen that?” Victor asks nobody in particular as he gestures towards the big TV screen.

We sit in my living room watching the Euro 2016 finals. So we have France versus Portugal. The bets were placed before my friends came over and John is holding the list. I added my own just an hour ago. 1-0 for Portugal in extra time. They laughed but John wrote it down.

“What is he doing?” Shaun moves to the edge of his seat and leans closer to the screen. “Is he for real or is it a game?”

“It is a game if you haven’t noticed yet,” Charles comments under his breath still loud enough for Shaun to glare at him for a brief moment.

“I still don’t understand how they could get to the finals. They did not have a really brilliant match so far,” Yvonne ponders while sipping her drink through a straw. She will get drunk before the match is over, I think to myself.

The rest sticks to lagers and beers apart from Shaun who also drinks the pink mixture. I know it contains a large amount of vodka, grapefruit juice and a bit of lemon. Also Solas, sitting next to me, decided to go with whiskey tonight. I know he’s going to stop in the middle of the third one. I sigh. His arm is around me and he squeezes me tenderly for a moment.

“Do you like football, Sam?” Charles stands up and moves around to a make-shift bar. He pours himself another larger. The foam almost spills over the brim of the glass. I know that he will wait for the foam to settle before pouring the rest of it in. His eyes lift and he looks at us.

“I’m not much of a fan, unfortunately,” Solas admits swirling ice cubes in his drink.

“Ah, I hoped you would know something about the game. Maybe bet on it as well.”

“My gambling days are over, I’m afraid.”

“What’s a bet between friends, though?” The blond man laughs. He pours the rest of his lager in and returns to his seat. “You still have time to place one.”

“No, it’s too late,” John interjects. “No more bets or making changes after the kick off.”

“It’s ok,” Solas admits quietly. He didn’t want to bet, I knew that too. I pat his knee and he smiles leaning his chin on my shoulder.

“So what is your hobby, Sam?” It seems that Charlie doesn’t give up.

“I could tell you about his hobby!” A short laugh from Lisa means trouble or embarrassment. She lounges on the armchair and winks at Solas before continuing. “He likes books. Very intellectual books… like ‘High Heels and Cocktails’ type books.”

Shaun smirks and turns to look at Solas who flushes a bit of pink in response. “I did not think you had it in you. The quiet types are usually the most perverted, though.” He comments while John and Charles watch him.

“And how would you know that, eh?” Victor leans toward his lover and grins happily at him.

“Oh, I would not call him perverted just because he likes reading about it. We all do after all,” Lisa snort then stands up and goes for a refill. “Still it would be nice to know how good he is in bed.”

I knew this one was coming and I stifled the laughter. The rest was not so modest.

“What is it to you, though? It’s not like you going to try him, ain’t it?” Becky jumps on her side of the sofa causing Tom to lose his balance and his phone to slip out of his hand. He grabs it and then makes a pitch noise.

“It’s gone! Oh, where is it now?” I shake my head at him. He’s not participating but playing on his phone. Well, at least he is quiet.

“So…books then? Anything else?” Charles re-starts his investigation.

“Oh, it seems like the prima-donna is going to leave the pitch.” Victor announces.

“No way! He was not faking then?” Shaun’s voice seems incredulous.

“Seems not,” John mumbles. He bet that Ronaldo would score.

“So?” Charles returns to his questioning when we are all watching the Portugal’s team captain being carried away from the pitch.

“Traveling, I assume. Although, I stayed for a long time in one place.”

“Which is?”

“China.” He deadpans. I smirk.

“A-where?” The blond man’s eyes go wide and he looks at Solas with blank expression.

“China,” he repeats. “I travelled the country for almost five years stopping at different places and studying their culture. I stayed in some monasteries and villages where people offered me accommodation and food in exchange for any work I was able to do.”

“I’m not surprised then that your style is a bit…rustic.” Shaun smirks at Solas from above his drink.

“Or that you lack any possessions,” John admits looking pensively at me. I blink at him. My face completely relaxed and innocent. I know he doesn’t believe it. Shite.

“Oh look here he comes!” Lisa leans out of her seat almost falling on the floor. Everybody’s attention returns to the screen. “Damn it!” She definitely has a ‘thing’ for the captain.

“Now that the 'prima donna' is off the pitch it should be a walk in the park for France.” Victor comments.

“Ha! I would not be so sure of that, my dear. Portugal may surprise you!” Shaun is sure of his bet.

“I’m going to get more drinks. Any takers?” I ask standing up.

I bring the glasses to the kitchen and as I rinse them John walks in. He puts his glass near the sink and then looks at me.

“So, Sam is a wanderer. Of China.”

I look at him.

“I might have believed it if it wasn’t for the fact that I don’t. I simply find him different.” He shakes his head. “Who is he really?”

I get the ice cubes out, drop some into glasses and pour whiskey on top. Then start mixing the pink drinks for Shaun and Yvonne.

“Does it matter, John?”

“It matters to me, Joy. I understand that you two… are together but… I would be a fool if I did not want to make sure that he’s who he says he is.”

I stop stirring the cocktails. “You ran a check on him?” He shrugs.

“There’s no Sam Hill who’s a photographer, born around your time and in the nearby area. I have run every possible scenario and still cannot find any trace of him. There are no social trails or mentions or anything at all. As if he never existed.”

“I trust him, John,” I say quietly.

“I know,” he admits. “And that’s why I came to you first. You said you met him before David, so do you know where he was born?”

A little village to the north of Haven, my mind supplies and I laugh. I know what is going to happen and I dread it. There are so many possible outcomes. Yet, I have to try.

“Sam is very dear to me, John. Please remember that.” He nods. “He comes from a different world. I know it sounds ridiculous but it’s the truth.” I hand him his tumbler filled with the gold liquid. He takes a sip.

“Go on.”

“He’s an elf and a mage. Came from a place called Thedas. It’s a coincidence or fate that he ended up here. He is a traveller just... between worlds, I guess.”

“How drunk do you think I am to believe this?” John smiles sadly.

“You don’t have to be drunk to believe it. And I’m not joking about it.”

John shakes his head in dismay. “What did he tell you about himself—“

“…is true.” A lilting voice comes from the doorway. Solas approaches me and places his arm protectively around me.

John looks at him for a while. His gaze is curious if not suspicious.

“This type of bullshit may work on some people, Sam, but not on me.” He says with an amount of anger colouring his voice. “And I wouldn’t want Joy to get hurt.”

I sigh. There we go.

Solas’ eyes flashes blue for a few seconds. That makes John take a step back. It’s weird to see a flash of fear on his ever so patient face.

“I am not planning on hurting her, John Stewart. Hurting Emily would be like ripping my own heart from my chest. As you can imagine, that would be quite...” his voice changes from authoritative to sarcastic, “…unpleasant.” His eyes return to his usual stormy blue when he moves his gaze onto me. I return his tentative smile.

“I think I may need another drink then.” John pushes the tumbler towards me and I refill it, doubling the amount.

“Some ice?” He adds.

“Allow me,” Solas takes the glass and hands it to John… covering it with a thin layer of frost. John gapes at the tumbler for an instant before carefully taking it from the Mage.

“Have you fallen asleep here or what? People are thirsty!” Becky walks in with Tom in tow. She grabs the tray with drinks and huffing kicks the door so it opens and lets her out.

Tom stops at the counter and looks at all of us.

“Would you like a drink, Tommy?” I ask him.

“I would like to show you something first.” He points to his phone and I gasp. Solas hand clenches around my waist instinctively. I take the phone from Tom who shuffles on his feet. He’s nervous. I look at his phone and sigh. Solas tenses next to me.

“Well, that is surprising, if not unexpected.” He murmurs quietly upon seeing a video from YouTube stopped at the cap of him as Dread Wolf in Trespasser. I release a very long breath.

“Maybe you should have a drink as well, Tom.” I move around and bring a new tumbler. Everybody gets a drink. Luckily, John brought a few bottles with him. As if he knew that they would be required.

It’s John turn to watch the video Tom plays for him. I take a long sip from my glass, looking at Solas. He’s calm and collected. Still he observes my friends quietly. I know he won’t do anything dangerous to them but I also know that he considers this possibility. Especially, if they were to threaten him or forbid him to see me. I definitely like his possessive side and yet I feel like I learn about him from scratch. How did he appear to be just a simple apostate to Cassandra and the Inquisition? The answer comes to me unbidden, because he wanted to look like one. Here, he doesn’t have to pretend, so his strong stance and boring gaze is what he is really like. Powerful and intelligent man.

I hum and he turns his gaze to me. Tenderness fills his eyes as they crinkle with his lips lifting into a smile. He approaches me and kisses my temples. “ _Ma vhenan_ ,” he murmurs against my forehead before planting another kiss.

“So you’re not an actor or something?” John has had enough of browsing and looking at Solas on screen. Now he looks at him in flesh. He shakes his head.

“But you have a- pointy ears here!” John shows him the cap. Solas sighs and then takes off the enchantment from his ears. As they elongate I can't resist and touch the lower edge. Solas gasps and shots a pointed look at me.

“He’s a mage and the Dread Wolf!” Tom says happily. I smile at him. “He’s going to be in the next game as well.” There’s hope in his voice.

I snort. “Yes, I hope so as well.”

“Why Dread Wolf?” John asks sliding his empty tumbler towards me. I refill it diligently.

“The Elven name is actually Fen’Harel.” I inform him throwing some ice cubes into our drinks. “One of the nine most powerful elven mages. He fought against them as they murdered one of theirs; the one who had enough of the other mages’ cruelty against the elven people. Fen’Harel tricked them and locked them away, so they could not hurt anybody else. Now his mission is to restore his people to what they were before.”

“That’s the shortest summary of my life, love. Thank you.” He says sarcastically but I know he does not mean it. I elbow him and he pretends to be hurt.

“Stop your games, Solas. I know it didn’t hurt you.”

“I’m sensitive, my heart.”

I roll my eyes. “Sure you are.”

“Why you call him Solas? I thought he was Dread Wolf?” John leans against the counter and focuses to absorb the information.

“It's both actually,” the man himself replies. “I was Solas first. Then I took the mantle of Fen’Harel or Dread Wolf, if you prefer.”

“R-right.” The other man drags. “So, what are you doing here exactly?”

“I took a… shortcut to reach my destination and somehow I ended up here.”

“A shortcut? What kind of?”

Solas sighs. “A portal to take me between two destinations.”

“A magical one, John. You know like in those fantasy films; you open a door here and then you cross the threshold and you end up somewhere else.” That shuts him up.

“Who is the Inquisitor?” Tom blurts out. He drank half of his tumbler.

Solas sighs again and then smiles. “Her name is Daeva Trevelyan. She’s a mage from the Ostwick circle in the north.”

“She's human, right. And she ended up with—?”

“Commander Cullen and Daeva got married as far as I know. A few weeks ago, actually. I hope only the best for them. Commander is a good man. Honest and loyal. Also stubborn. I think they are a good match, though.”

“That's good. It would be awkward if she was a Lavellan…” Tom gives me a side look. Solas notices.

“Yes, well… it's better this way.” He admits.

We all are looking at one another in silence. Pondering about things. I admit if there was a Lavellan and Solas was involved with her…or even in love, as I think that he would have fallen for any Lavellan and then I couldn't…this situation would have been awkward. And stressful for both of us. Would I have helped him then? Would he have saved me? I guess we'll never know now.

“So…how many dragons have you killed?” Tom’s enthusiasm is contagious. I notice that all of us are listening carefully to the lilting voice.

“With the Inquisition? During my time with them, I think we managed to kill seven. Shame, they are powerful creatures. But they encroached on a territory Inquisition needed, so Daeva fought them. She left the sleeping one in the Hissing Wastes alone upon my request. The thrill of sneaking behind the back of a snoring dragon is unforgettable. They possess good hearing and their dragonlings are very curious. Luckily, we managed to get around her without problems. Then there was the one Corypheus was commanding. So, I guess it may be eight in total.”

“Is Skyhold really yours?”

Solas sighs then nods. “ _Tarasyl’an Te’las_ was my castle. It looked different in my time to what you’ve seen. It was more…” he looks for a word, “elven, I guess. The people who came after rebuilt it to their own style and then the next did the same. It was never claimed for too long though. Until the Inquisition time.”

“Is it abandoned now?” I ask curiously, even knowing we ran out of time for him to answer.

“Hey!” A loud kick on the door which opens and Becky walks in with tray in hands and Yvonne behind her. They both grin. I turn to Solas to warn him but he's already put the enchantment back on his ears. I sigh relieved.

“Do you have a special meeting or something here?” Yvonne goes to the sink and starts washing the glasses. “The first half is over. We need food now.”

“Ok, I’m on it. “ I sigh and move around the kitchen.

~

We end up with trays of drinks and food in the living room right before the second half commences. Shaun huffs at Victor who insists on sitting on the floor and leaning against his lover’s shins. Becky moves over to sit next to Yvonne and Lisa to the couch nearer Charles. Tom walks away to play his game for a bit. They all play their own game, I remark to myself. The only free spot for two people is the huge armchair where Lisa sat before.

I grab a packet of crackers and Solas’ hand. Then motion to him to sit down before I move between his legs to climb the armchair. I turn sideway and find the backrest. My feet hide under one of his spread thighs. He smiles and caresses my knees. I lean towards him for a kiss. That makes him happy and he drags me closer to him.

“Hey lovebirds! Stop that!” Shaun throws a cushion at us. Solas chuckles.

“I told you they are so intense that you can feel it in the air. Just wait another day or so. You’ll be able to charge your phone battery on it!” Lisa mumbles between bites. I glare at her to which she shrugs.

I fish one of the crackers and take a bite. Then move the remainder towards Solas. He smiles and catches it with his teeth before it disappears in his mouth. His eyes crinkle.

“Alright! Go France!” Victor exclaims enthusiastically while Shaun pets his hair.

“My dear, if the French could heed your encouragements they may have a chance to win this game. Alas,“ he looks at his nails,” they are the lost cause tonight.”

“Just because you bet on Portugal doesn’t mean you’re going to be right,” Charles says sarcastically. Lisa leans towards him and whispers in his ear.

“Oh come on! He was so far offside. Stevie Wonder would have seen that. He should have been looking across the line.” John hides his face in his hands.

“Now now. Don’t cry big brother. It’s just a game.”

“Just a game?” John repeats with a sigh.

“Oh, how the hell?” Victor stands up and throws his hands in the air.

I feed Solas another cracker. His lips catch the tips of my fingers. I smile.

Victor turns around and asks, “How do you say ‘frog’ in French?”

“’Grenouille’, I supply. “But you’d be better off with ‘coq’!”

“A what?” Both Victor and Shaun turn around.

“It’s French national emblem, right? Le Coq Gaulois.”

“Oh, I know a lot about ‘cock’,” Victor smirks mischievously and Shaun rolls his eyes.

“We know that big boy!” Lisa whistles from the sofa behind us.

“Gosh, Victor! You’re so perverted. I mean the bird.”

“Oh, I know you mean ‘the bird’, maybe even ‘the big bird’.“ He agrees sitting down on the sofa next to Shaun. He doesn’t see the cushion flying at him. “Ouch!” I stick my tongue at him when he turns.

“Fight, fight!” Becky sits on her haunches and claps her hands. Nobody rises up to the challenge.

“Go cocks!” Victor shouts grinning madly. Others roll their eyes and giggle. I feel Solas laughter as he hides his head in my hair.

“Very mature,” John stands up and leaves for the kitchen. He brings a bottle of whiskey and Tommy with him. The boy goes and sits quietly next to Lisa.

“Joy?” John stops near the armchair, bottle in his hand. “Sam?” We both nod once Solas emerges behind the curtain of my hair.

“I’ll have one as well,” Charlie gets up and joins John at the make-shift bar.

“Are you coming with us to London next week then?” Yvonne stretches on the sofa and kicks Bex by accident. The young girl just snorts.

“Yes. We are.” I confirm tugging at the packet. Solas’ thumb caresses my back in small circles. A subtle burst of magic runs up my spine. I look at him and catch him smirking.

“Thinking about going back there?” She continues, now stretching her legs over Becky’s. The other girl snorts again but doesn’t push her legs off.

“No, not really. My home is here.”

“What about you, Sam?” John brings us our drinks. “Where is your home?” His smile is tiny and devious.

I look at Solas and see him looking at me. His gaze heated and solemn. “My home is wherever Joy is.”

“Aww, damn it. He’s so sweet!” Lisa mews at his words. John smirks and goes back to his seat.

I plant a soft kiss on Solas’ lips. He whispers a breathy ‘ _ma vhenan’_ as his lips stretch to a full smile. I love him.

“I cannot believe that this is the second half and there’s not a single shot on target as yet.” The fire-fighter lounges on the sofa and taps his shoe on the carpet.

“They had a couple of chances”, Victor replies.

“Which they did not take,” John remarks taking a long sip from his glass. I notice that he observes Solas.

“Well, that’s true. They should have sent on a more attacking player replacing Ronaldo, the team would be better off. Someone to work the line.”

“I’m not sure that would have helped them,” Charles snorts. “It’s not like they could plan for him to pull up injured, right? And the stakes are too high to risk a maverick. The longer the game goes on, more tiredness starts to creep in and both teams hope the other will make a mistake for them to win it.”

“It will be up to the ‘sporting gods’ to decide this game if they're not careful,” John mutters.

Sam looks at me with a puzzled expression on his face; then whispers, “Who are the ‘sporting gods’ he’s talking about?”

“It’s sporting bullshit, no real gods,” I smirk.

“So why do they talk about them as if there were real?” He asks.

“That’s sport for you; people will believe anything - from lucky socks to lucky pants as long as their team wins.”

I stand up and Solas looks at me questioningly. Ladies-room time. My reassuring smile makes him at ease. He slumps against the chair and sips on the drink.

I pass through the kitchen on my way back and see Charlie standing at the sink, looking outside through the window. I approach him slowly.

”Is everything alright?”

He sighs and turns to look at me. “He makes you happy. You smile more than before.”

Oh. This type of conversation it’s going to be. Well…

“Are you sure he’s right for you, though? I don’t question your decision it’s just— what can he give you which I can’t Joy?” His eyes are sad and cast down. “Does he make you feel safe? What about the future? Is he going to provide for you?”

“Charlie, we’ve talked about it before,” I chide him.

“I know.” He sighs. “Just want to be sure that he is right for you. That you’ll be safe with him.”

“I appreciate that. And yes, Sam will take care of me and support me and all that. I know he will.” And I do.

“If you ever need any help or need me to kick his ass,” he smirks, “just tell me and I will.”

I laugh and move closer to embrace him. He holds me in his arms. “He’s a lucky son of a bitch, you know. I hope he realises that.” He declares releasing me.

I smile at him. “I’m sure he knows that.”

“Good.” He nods. “As long as you’re happy, I can live with that. Now… let’s go back and watch this pitiful match to the end, shall we?” He opens the door to the living room and we enter.

“It’s not _that bad_ ,” I smirk.

“What isn’t that bad?” Lisa looks between us with frown on her face.

“The match. Charlie is moaning about the lack of real action.”

“Oh, I could show you ‘real action’ big boy.”

Victor and Bex start whistling and making lewd noises. John snorts into his drink before asking politely, “Could you please refrain from such obnoxious offers when I’m in the room? You’re my sister after all.”

“Then you should know better and get used to such comments, John.” Shaun comments from his seating position which changed now to being nestled between Victor’s thighs. I roll my eyes and look at the armchair. Solas is not there. Oh well… ah, he is outside with Tommy. They’re walking around trying to catch the beasts. I giggle.

I get comfy in the armchair and am sipping my drink when Solas returns. He looks at me and then takes my drink, puts it on the table and lifts me up to deposit in his lap. I hold to his shirt for life as he manhandles me. Satisfied by the new arrangements, he plants a sloppy kiss against my temples. I huff.

“Much better,” he whispers.

“You’re insufferable,” I whisper back. Only half mad. His wolfish grin and shining eyes make me relax against him and sigh in contentment.

“Are we going to have a goal or not?” Victor whines looking at the screen. Definitely inebriated at this point. No more than Yvonne who shouts “whoozaa!” whenever French team nears the Portugal ‘s midfield.

I shake my head knowing that they going to get smashed tonight. Me as well. That requires some preparations. I lean closer to my man, aww, and whisper to him, “I will get drunk tonight and probably will try to have a go at you. Please handle me carefully but firmly. You have my permission. And don’t do anything you may want to do. I would like to remember our first time.”

The surprise and confusion is his eyes linger for a couple of moment before he relaxes and whispers back, “I won’t do anything to compromise you, _vhenan_. I would like you to remember our first time as well.” Then he proceeds to kiss my temples, nose and finally my lips. Ending with a goofy smile and happy eyes. “I’ll take care of you. You can let go for tonight, _ma nehn_.”

“ _Nehn_?” I asked teasing him.

“Yes. You are my joy and my heart,” he confirms; his voice breathless. He’s happy.

“Damn!” Charlie’s voice is loud as he slumps against the cushions.

The second half is over and still no score. The others moan and complain and get up to get more drinks.

“I’ll be so drunk tonight. I hoped to win this one,” Yvonne shakily stands up and proceeds to the kitchen.

I take our glasses and stand up as well.

“You’d like a refill?” Leaning over him I steal a quick kiss. He tries to catch me but I retreat fast. My coordination, even in a drunken state, has improved, substantially. I wasn’t even as drunk as I thought I would be. Hmm, strange.

I return and nestle myself comfortably in his lap. Let's see that scoring shot now, I think amused. It should be fun.

“So you bet they would score now?” Lisa asks sitting next to her brother. Both reading the betting notes.

~

The game ends. Extra time. One zero for Portugal. I’m partially shocked.

“It seems you won, Joy.” John announces. The others make more of the moaning and other disgruntled noises. I smile.

"Lucky sod. On both accounts." John grumbles under his breath while handing me the money. And looking at Solas pointedly.

~

“So, he's an elf.” John states.

I hum.

We sit outside enjoying a warm summer night. The sun is down and the sky is clear so we can see the stars.

“And you don't mind that?”

“No. Why should I?”

“From what I can gather he's not an average guy. And the way he carries himself indicates that he's used to be in place of an authority figure or at least giving orders. Tommy mentioned that he was a general or something?

I shrug. “Yeah, he was. I guess he still is…”

“And that doesn't scare you?” He asks incredulously.

“He's different than you think. He did what had to do. And judging him because of one single action is doing him disservice. Deep down I know that he's a good man. One day everybody will see that as well. But he has to walk many miles before it happens, I'm afraid. And the people whom he chooses as his companions may facilitate that for him. It will be his choice though.” I shrug looking up at the starry sky.

“Ok. And what will happen when you find a way to send him back?” He leans in his chair towards me. It squeaks and makes me look at him. “What will happen to you, Joy?”

I look at him and sigh. Then smile sadly.

He closes his eyes and nods. “You'll go with him.” His gaze is thoughtful as he studies me. “Is that what you want? Leave all this for a guy you barely know?”

“I know it seems crazy but yes. And he's not just ‘a guy’; he's ‘my guy’, John.” I smirk.

“Joke all you want. I still think it's unreasonable for you to leave. Why can't he stay here?”

“He wants to, but-“ I sip my water through a straw. “He's needed there and I can't hold him back. He needs to do what's he planned. Otherwise, many will perish and he will not forgive himself. Ever.”

“This is madness, Joy. Listen to yourself!”

“I know what I'm doing John. Maybe for the first time I know what I want. And I'm not trying to deny that I'm not scared as hell. I am! But it all be for naught if he stays here. And I will not be the cause of his demise.”

John looks at me pleading and then furrows his brows and states, “Fucking shit, you really love this guy…”

My smile is brilliant if not a bit sad. I sigh.

“Please John, I'm really trying to do what's best.  I'll miss you a lot but we don't even know when or how to send him back.”

“Have you considered contacting the guys from- you know, the game guys? Maybe they could help.”

“I'm afraid they would have lock him up. And before we would have turned around a government or other authorities would be upon him. No,” I shake my head and stand up, “it's better to sort it the way I'm trying to.”

“Which is?”

“We met with a professor of physics the other day in London. He sent another email to meet him next week. He is bringing his colleagues.”

“Ah, so that's the reason for your visits. And I thought you missed me.” He snorts and tips his lager.

“I tried to kill two birds with one stone, smartass. So far, I think I was successful.”

“Shit. I'm going to miss you, girl.” He stands up and embraces me tightly. “Maybe you should go somewhere nice, visit a bit of this planet before you leave?”

I lean back and look at him. I know where to go. “I would gladly, it's just Solas doesn't have a passport. And that definitely complicates traveling.”

John smirks. “I can sort it out. Sam Hill, right? Give me three days.”

I smile and he releases me from his arms. “I skip the explanation on how you can sort it out, John. But thank you.”

I turn towards the entrance and notice Solas hovering in the shadows. I reach out and beckon him to join us. He is at my side in a matter of seconds. His arms around me and his lips at my temple. He missed me. I sigh. It seems that leaving him alone for longer than half an hour is a challenge. For him.

I hear him humming against my head. “We're going on a trip once John sorts out your passport.” His eyes widen and he looks and both us questioningly. “I'll take you on a trip to a nice sunny place. With a white sandy beach and palm trees and warm blue sea water.”

“Oh? And why we need a passport to go there?”

“I'm sure he'll be ecstatic to fly on an airplane,” John laughs. “I hope he doesn't shit himself.”

“I don't think so. Although…” I tilt my head and look pensively at Solas who looks back becoming less and less amused. “I bet he'll be impressed with the invention itself.”

“I look forward to proving you both wrong. I may be unaccustomed to this world but will be happy to use this airplane.”

“You certainly will,” John smirks.

~

“Are you alright, _vhenan?_ ” He asks, his fingers massaging my scalp and tugging my hair.

“Yes. It’s just…” I hesitate, “I see memories not my own. I mean Urthemiel saw so much. I feel like I need to compensate for something to him.”

“You don’t.” He said decisively. His jaw tenses and eyes get cold. “You control him, _ma lath_ , let go of what you think you need to do and focus on what you want.” His breath fans my face. His jaw and full lips fill my vision when I sway. So hot and enticing.

“Oh, for sake… Solas, I know what I need. I just struggle with the memories which are not my own. They are confusing and messing up with my current life. Still, I can distinguish between darkspawns and humans and all this Elvhen life.” I snort.

He glares at me. “You see darkspawns?”

I stretch on my toes and kiss him before replying as if admitting a well-known fact, “Of course I do. It’s a bit confusing for him but he was commanding them, right? And then he was saved by some dark force that purged his soul and transferred it to a new vessel. And somehow he's here, now.” I put my hand to my chest and smile contently. Solas whimpers. I shot him a glare. He moves closer to me as if to take me in his arms and my hand extends to keep him at a distance. He stops.

“ _Vhenan_?”

I tilt my head, “I am you _vhenan_ … and much more… _ma sa’lath_.”

He whimpers and takes a step towards me... Then, another one. I relent. Before I know it, I’m in his arms. Secure, safe, and warm.

“ _Ar lath ma_ ,” he whispers against my hair carrying me to my bedroom. I cling to him and surrender when I feel the mattress at my back.

“Let me take care of you, _ma lath_.” I hear him whispering somewhere between taking off my clothes and covering me.

“Goodnight Solas,” I mumble against his chest before the sleep takes me away.

“Goodnight _ma vhenan_.” His arms around me and his mouth against my temples.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to my Beta for helping me with this chapter <3


	21. Twenty One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \--> Some things are meant to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! The end of the chapter is NSFW!
> 
> translations:  
> vhenan - (my) heart  
> ir abelas - i'm sorry

“I'm glad to see you again,” she admits when I sit next to her on a bench. The fountain adorned with lions and cherubs at our backs. A cup of coffee in my hand and a surprised smile on my face. “I had a feeling we would meet again. I'm glad you fare well.”

“Yes. I'm definitely better since last time we spoke. I'm thankful for your assistance that night. Solas told me how you helped us back then. I should have thanked you before it's just my memories…” I sigh as there is no way to thank someone for saving one’s life. If she didn't explain to Solas that he needed to remove the bullet before healing me it would have poisoned my whole system and the damage would have been irreparable. Somehow she knew what to do and that knowledge, combined with Solas skills and the risk he took, was able to save me. Or bring me back, if one prefers.

“Have they returned?” She asks sipping her own beverage. Interestingly, it looks like a herbal tea and I can smell whiffs of orange.

“Yes, they have. And more.”

“You still wonder what it means for you.” More of a statement than a question. I observe her for a moment. Last time I was so focused on myself that I had only a vague recollection of how striking a woman she was.

“They're vague and jumping from one moment to the other one. I cannot control them.”

“Like I said the other day, you need a focus. Something to help direct your thoughts, help you to seek the one you want. It may be anything but usually something you'd know straight away if you'd thought about its purpose.”

“What do you mean?”

“You and I have more in common now.” Her dark gaze sends pleasant shiver down my back. It is warm and friendly. “You have nothing to worry about from me but you should take precautions as many will try to exploit your talent. Even the closest one, maybe, especially them. You should be ready for anyone trying to use you and seek advice and help from those who are able to assist you.”

“I'm afraid I still don't understand. What it all means?”

“Did you have any strange dreams recently? Maybe strange occurrences of daydreaming?” She tilted her head.

“Yes.”

“How often does it happen?”

I shake my head. “More often than I would like to admit. It's confusing to see something happens only to realise that it's not what happened. And the dreams… are even more confusing. Lately, there's like a totally separate world I see, memories of past events, some old some new. The flashes of them accompany me throughout the day. It is… challenging to keep track of what is real and what is not.”

She observes me for a long moment. “You may see more of the things or people close to you as you're guided by your emotions. Things you care about or things you worry about can trigger the visions.  That's why I advised you to use a focus, to help you direct the vision, to find the ones you want to see rather than see them at random.”

“Are you saying that I can—?” I cannot finish the sentence as it seems too crazy. She nods and I sigh. Well, this is going to be interesting.

“You have a long way ahead of you. I hope you're ready for it.”

“I hope so too,” I admit looking around me. People are rushing about, pushing children in the prams, passing us with their ear glued to the phone and drinking coffee in a rush, walking dogs and jogging with headphones on. It's a beautiful sunny day, warm temperature and light breeze add to the improbability of the situation.

“How's the old man doing?” She breaks the silence.

I smirk. “You know who he is then.” She nods. “He's doing fine. Although I can see cracks in his composure. He's trying his best to deal with it and yet I know he struggles. He's been struggling since we've met, he just doesn't want to admit it.”

“He needs to make a decision and it's taking its toll on him. He's on the crossroads and afraid of taking a wrong path. Whatever he chooses it won't be easy. For neither of you.” Her tone is serious and her eyes scan the top buildings in the distance. “He will need your help. Always. But you need to decide,” she turns her focus on me, “what your help entails. Sometimes the best way to help someone is to leave them to find their own way out of the problem.”

“Are you saying that I would need to leave him?” My chest constricts at the thought.

“For a time, maybe. The future is a choice everyone makes. A path we choose. But if you're the one to know how to pull the strings… “ Her voice wavers and she sighs heavily. “You'll need to find yourself as well. You'll fight your own demons and you cannot help him if you struggle with what you are.”

“I love that your advice is always so cryptic.”

“This how I make a fortune. Telling the truth wrapped in mystery. But you know what I mean, don't you?” Her hand covers mine and I sigh before nodding.

She stands up. “I'm afraid we won't see each other again. Shame, I'd really like to know how you fare in your life. “

“Thank you for everything.” I smile at her.

She appraises me for a moment then makes a move as if wanting to leave. She stops though. “Tell him you're not as fragile as he seems to think. You won't break easily.” Her smile turns mischievous and she winks before walking away.

I sit on the bench for a while longer. I'm expected to return to the professor and his friends. Solas has been entertaining them for the last two hours. And yet I linger, enjoying the buzzing of life around me so different from the quiet area I live in. I can feel the change is coming and this may be one of few opportunities for me to gather my thoughts.

~

“Actually it was quite fascinating,” Solas declares when we sit at the back of a taxi taking us to John’s. He's holding my hand, squeezing it from time to time. I'm mulling over everything they been through; all the possibilities of travel through space. Solas has been animated upon hearing the professor’s greeting and his announcement about another possibility to travel. His eyes shone with happiness and he smiled more often than any time I've seen him. He loves research and lengthy discussion on the subject of his interests. I guess he would be a great philosopher or professor on his own if he was born here. I sigh. Thedas doesn't deserve him. Everything he's been through is so unjust, even if he says otherwise.

“Have you learned anything new?” I ask and his gaze focuses on me.

“Yes and no.” He sighs. “It all comes down to the same scenario as before. Recreating the same circumstances is the best bet. But since I have no idea what went wrong the first time, I have no idea what to recreate.”

I pay the driver and we stop at the front door to John’s house.

“It was the mirror you came through before, right? Was it like one of the mirrors unlocked by the Qunari?”

He looks at me pondering. “They went through it before me. I was walking back to get to Crossroads and then to Arbor Wilds. The mirror was—“ he stops.

“Qunari magic altered it perhaps?” I supply quietly.

“It's… a possibility. It would have had to be a very small change, though. Almost impossible to discover without proper examination.” He admits, his brows furrowed.

“They might have altered it without you notice it; and you were a bit… distracted after meeting with the Inquisitor. You might have missed it.”

He doesn't seem happy with such a possibility but with the lack of any other for the moment he settles to accept it. Still wearing a grim expression he embraces me. “If that mistake brought me here to find you then I cannot complain, _vhenan_. You give me hope and that's all I need.”

“You don't want anything else?” I mumble into his shoulder.

He chuckles and it makes a wonderful wave of warmth spreading through me. “I want all you're willing to give, love. All of it.”

I lean back, “Greedy man.” He kisses me lightly. And then again.

“We should get inside; unless you want all of them continue peeking out behind the curtains.”

He chuckles and kisses me again before knocking on the door.

~

“Are you saying what I think you're saying?” The intensity of his gaze could set fire.

“Yes.”

“Then—?” He takes a deep breath.

“Yes. It seems I can. Sometimes at least. She said I needed a focus and I think I know what I need. It's something my aunt left me.”

I stop him from saying next line, sitting in front of him on the bed. It's late, definitely past midnight and we're still mulling over the new developments. “I know what you want to say. And yes, that's it. I know now what I need though. It will be helpful.” I look to the side.

His hand caresses my cheek and he chases it with a soft kiss. “Whatever you decide _vhenan_.”

I look at him incredulously. “You cannot leave it up to me, Solas! I cannot decide whether you stay or go. Please, don't ask me that.”

A small smile plays on his lips but it doesn't reach his eyes.

“You have the power to see whether I return or stay here. I cannot do it on my own it seems. I need your help.” He admits reluctantly.

“Solas, I've promised to help you and that's what I'm doing. And…” I take a long strained breath, “once we're back home I know what I need to help us.” I shake slightly causing him to gather me in his arms.

“I don't want to leave you. Please don't make me choose.” He whispers against my hair. His voice choking on last word.

I embrace him tightly. That's all I can do at the moment. I'm still undecided even if I declared to John I would go, the thought fills me with dread. I am scared. As hell. Terrified to the bone by just imagining myself in that world so unlike my own. Even with Solas being there it would be like learning to live and cope with the very basics.  Nothing will be the same. And I would have to learn to survive. It wasn't me to just— I sigh against his broad chest; his hands caress my back.

“Whatever comes, Solas, I want you to decide what's best for you. Not the people, not the world but you. You have every right to be selfish, to think about yourself for a while.”

His blue eyes turn sad before he meets my gaze as I lean back to look at him. “If I were to decide for myself then you already know the answer. I've declared it many nights before. It would be _you_ I choose. Not my people, not Thedas. You.”

“Oh Solas.” I sigh heavily. His feelings have not changed it seems. Not his willingness to remain here. Was I to keep him for both our sakes? Or venture forth and risk it all because it was the right thing to do? Him coming here was a kind of accident or was it Fate? Maybe I was to keep him here so he couldn't do more damage to Thedas? Or maybe it was just a stop for him to learn a new perspective and enjoy a moment of quiet before lunging himself into the heat of the battle again?

_He leans against me and keeps me pressed between himself and the wall at my back. His warmth calms me down so I can focus on the words he utters. “I've never wanted this for you. Never, in my wildest dreams I thought to let you leave this way. If that's what you desire then I will not stop you vhenan. I know better than to oppose you. Just remember that you have a home here, by my side, to which you're always welcome.” His hot lips trail along my cheek to my temples. “I'll wait for you for eternity, if you require. I will never give up on you. Ever.” He kisses me tenderly but I don't return the kiss; I stay immovable as if the slightest action could deter me from carrying out with my plan. He steps away sighing heavily. “Ar lath ma Nehn,” his fingers caress my cheek before his hand drops down and he steps away. I'm free to do as I please. So I turn around fighting tears which I don't drop until I cross the edge of the camp. Alone._

I shake my head and I continue to stare at him. He's quiet and lost in thoughts.

“ _Ma vhenan_.” He kisses my temples.

“Whatever we decide I want you to do one thing for me,” I declare breathlessly.

“Just name it.” His gaze is expectant and serious.

“I want you to…”

 _make love to me._ That's what I want to say. And then-

_The feeling of utter bliss and frustration nagging at him while he smiles softly. I cannot do it to her, us. She deserves someone who will stay by her side. To feel her once and then long for her will be maddening and distracting to the point of seeking any memory available in the Fade in the middle of the night. And if it's not there then I will have to endure the longing, howling to the dark sky without any response. Burying myself in the tasks and work and duties to stop thinking about her warmth, her heat, her smile, her tenderness, her love, her embrace… he chokes on the feeling of helplessness, still looking into her eyes, full of hope and wanting. Denying her the pleasure of being with her is the most difficult of the choices he has to make. He longs for her. He's been longing for her since the moment he saw her sitting in the kitchen the first night. She stirred a long forgotten desire in him, the one he thought was buried so deep that nobody would be able to uncover. And yet, she did it with a surprised smile lighting up her entire face. He was done for it the moment he crossed the mirror and she was the reason of it._

“…go with me on that holiday I mentioned.” I gulp and try to keep my face straight while the vision plays in my mind. I change my request at the last moment knowing that my original request would have hurt him no matter the answer he chose. And I decide to deny him that. But knowing the answer makes it hurts twice as much. And yet I endure. Guess that's the price for seeing the future. And the future is nothing but the choices one makes. It's sufficient to slow down, say the right word, take left turn instead of right, and the future is changed. In the long run, one’s actions may have far reaching consequences. I need to be careful.

With him.

At least until I've figured it out. Until I have it under control.

He smiles, “Of course. Where would we go?”

I giggle burying my face in his chest and hugging him closely. “I'd like a warm place to be.”

“As warm as this?” He chuckles while his arms encircle me.

“Warmer.” Definitely so. I want to lay on a beach and take long walks along the shore with waves caressing our feet. Feel the sun on my skin and the breeze ruffling our clothes. I want him to see how beautiful this planet can be. And see it for myself as it's been years since I went on holiday. That was before David, before my parents’ accident, before the world felt like a cruel place.

“Any place with you by my side will be perfect.” He whispers against my skin peppering it with light kisses.

I hum softly in response.

~

Shall I ask or not, he ponders the morning after the revelation. It's an incredible gift to have, few were granted with. The Tellers or _Rass’ah Vath,_ called in times of Arlathan, were rare and treasured; carefully guarded as their gift could be a powerful tool. The one to bring the nations tremble, to make one’s army invincible, to win any argument or decide the outcome of a dispute. Mythal used it to her advantage over the course of her life, and also after as she joined with Flemeth. And to think that his _vhenan_ has been granted with such is a marvel. _Rass’ah Vath_ , the teller of possibilities, it was a dangerous gift yet sought by all. Other Evanuris would have killed for that. Has she been discovered by someone else they may have used her to their own advantage.

Are you certain you won't do the same, his heart asked timidly. No, he cannot be sure. If he returns to Thedas any advantage in the war he plans is welcome, and her cooperation, combined with her gift, would be welcomed the most. He feels disgusted with himself even thinking about such a possibility. And yet…

He sighs and looks at her. She stands with her friends and laughs loudly at a crude joke Lisa said. It brings a smile to his lips. Such a burden yet such a carefree attitude. True, she admitted the visions have been unexpected and sudden, she had no control over them. Also, they started after his appearance. Is it a coincidence or something more? He suspects that him coming through that mirror triggered or awakened the magic surrounding it. That Emily is susceptible to it is incredible and may also suggest that her aunt somehow knew about it. It's a shame that she is no longer there to answer the questions. His only hope of returning to Thedas is his _vhenan_. If she doesn't find a way, nobody can.

He turns around and goes for a refill of a sweet cocktail with a slice of lemon, brim of sugar and an umbrella as suggested by Lisa. His _vhenan_ encouraged him to try it and he succumbed to her suggestion. It was sweet yet sour. Refreshing. Like Emily. After millennia of fending off unwanted interest of both women and men, after taking a body and surrendering in his youth to more carnal desires, he appreciates the idea of being devoted to one person. Wanting her, dreaming of her, drinking every word from her lips, drowning in the tender gaze of her eyes, relaxing in her warm embrace. Maybe it's Emily. Maybe it's love. They are the same, as far as he recognises them. He's whole when she's around. She's his anchor, his reason, his heart. He trusts her and that scares him as he has never trusted before. The Lone Wolf, never to be seen with another one outside his bedroom, casual dalliance here and there but never anything serious. And here he is, rendered speechless and willing to give up everything for one woman. Mythal would have laughed but she might have forgotten how she was enamoured with Elgar’nan at the beginning. How she met his advances with her own. Blushing and giggling with increased heart beats.

He sighs again.

The professors came up with several theories but as he was going through them they did not provide the answer he needed. He feels he needs something else, something different, maybe unique. The mirror responds willingly to his magic, he can manipulate the strands of it increasing or decreasing the power as needed, and yet it resists to open. To make the connection between two points, as his _vhenan_ says; maybe it's due to a missing factor. But what is it? If before it was something the Qunari have placed or their magic altered what can it be this time? The mirror resists providing a link to the last place he's been to. He has tried other destinations as well, also the Crossroads as it sends a stronger call. Yet, it doesn't respond. An element is missing. And he doesn't know what exactly. It's frustrating to not know.

She laughs again and he's half way down his drink. Definitely tipsy at this point. His eyes roam her features and he feels the ever telling warmth spreading through him; as if the hotness between his thighs was not good enough an indication what he desires. And he desires her. He devours her with his eyes; imagining things he would do to her if permitted. His desire goes beyond the lust he felt from the beginning; it was easy to resist its pull towards her in the early days, but her smile and the fire in her eyes made him rethink that. He wanted her from the beginning, and his body knew they were a match from the start. He's sure of that and if they're lovers she would be very responsive and he would indulge her in every fantasy of hers. And add a few of his own.

He sighs. There are better moments to think about it than now. Charles is talking to her and although he keeps his distance Solas cannot resist being the chevalier for his damsel. Although he knows that his _vhenan_ is far from being one. He likes to indulge himself sometimes…

Will he have to fight the human for her? She's clear with her intent though, so he realises that Charles keeps his distance for a reason. He should not feel jealous and a small tingle tugs at his heart. She loves him, he's sure of that. He loves her, and she knows that. Jealousy is a new concept to him, though. Maybe because you've never had anyone to be jealous about, his heart supplies. Ah, yes. That's right. He's never been in love before. Until his _vhenan_ … touched his heart and he willingly surrendered it to her.

His thoughts are calm when he approaches his heart with a third drink in his hand and a smirk on his face. “Missed me?” He whispers in her ear while encircling her waist to bring her flush against him. She makes an ‘oof’ noise before giggling at his antics. Surprisingly, Charles smiles at him as well.

“Oh well, just a bit,” she replies mischievously.

That makes him smile. And he looks at the human with a satisfying grin.

“So, you're going on holiday, Joy said.” Charles strikes a conversation.

“It seems so,” he admits. “We have not decided on the destination though.”

“Maybe Thailand? It's beautiful and colourful, also very warm this time of the year. If not maybe… Canaries?” Charles asks.

The woman by his side smiles and leans against him a bit more. He automatically tightens his embrace. “I thought about Canaries as well,” she nods. “But also Greece, or one of the islands.”

“Wait, are you talking about holiday?” Lisa appears next to Charles. “That's a brilliant idea! Maybe we all should go together?”

“I think my dear that the lovebirds wouldn't appreciate our presence. I think they want a quality time to themselves.” Shaun pipes in sipping on a green drink with an orange slice and an umbrella on top. He's had a few of them already as far as Solas noticed.

“Oh well, it would have been so nice for all of us to go.” She whines.

“Not all of us can afford to have some time off work, Lisa.” Charles informs her.

Joy’s hand sneaks under the back of his polo shirt and her fingers palm his bottom before stopping above the waistband of his jeans. He feels a pleasant shiver running through him straight to his groin every time her fingers caress his back in small circles. This may be pleasant but the front of his trousers becomes tight. A simple touch from her and he yearns for more. She hums appreciatively while the discussion continues and he catches her gaze to land on his growing bulge. Still covered by the length of his shirt but not so much. Little minx, she's doing it on purpose.

“Be careful what you're doing, _ma lath_ ,” he almost growls in her ear, shifting himself slightly closer to her. She has now the evidence against her hip and her breath hitches. He tips his drink before looking at her with hunger in his eyes.

“Would you like another one, Sam?” She asks innocently, taking a step away from him and grabbing his empty glass.

“The martini is in the lower fridge now. The one in the bar is finished,” Yvonne shouts after retreating Joy. He counts to three then follows.

She's rummaging through the fridge content when he sees her. With back turned to him and her derrière in his direction he cannot refrain from palming her ass with a groan. She jumps startled and turns around to face him. He grins mischievously as her eyes widen. Oh yes, revenge can be sweet. He pins her with his body to the fridge and kisses her fervently. Her resistance breaks after a second of hesitation and she moans into his mouth. He knows they do not have time to squander so he presses his thigh between her legs and move his left hand under her skirt. Her hitched breath is a tell-tale when he squeezes her round ass cheek.

“You've been taunting me for the last couple of days. I promise to go easy on you as much as I'd like to bring you to your knees,” his words have the desired effect on her as she whimpers and grinds her core against his thigh. The pleasant rumble from his chest makes her moan. He wastes no time and moves his left hand to her sex cupping it with the flat of it. His right hand holds her neck to the side while he plants a string of kisses along the curve. She moans again, even louder, as his fingers go deeper between her legs. He leans back to look at her, strained breaths, flushed cheeks and heavy lidded eyes. Oh, she will sing his name. His fingers deep between her legs push her panties to the side and one finger slowly moves against her folds. She whimpers and her head hits the fridge, he bends down and licks at her exposed neck. He trails kisses to her earlobe and whispers a quiet ‘ _ir abelas_ ’, before tugging at her panties and ripping it off her. She looks at him in surprise but says nothing seeing the heat of his gaze. Now, he has access to please her. He looks down to see her engorged labia glistening with juices and he groans when his fingers gets coated with them. He wants to go down and lap at them till he's drunk but… they don't have the luxury of time. So he settles for pushing his fingers into her, deeper and faster with each stroke as she wails and moans and writhes in pleasure. His thumb circles the engorged pearl and her breathing gets quicker. But he isn't finish with her yet.

“Do you want to come _vhenan_?” He growls in her ear.

She nods. That won't do.

“I want to hear you say it.”

“Y-yes, I want to— ahh— come.”

Much better now. He presses on seeing that she is close if the way she chants and mews his name is any indication. Her hips buckle against his hand and she whimpers and… shatters. His fingers don't stop as he drags her waves of pleasure until she stops shuddering and sags against him.

“Beautiful,” he admits pulling out his fingers. His hand is drenched in her juices and he cannot resist but starts licking it slowly. She observes him through half lidded eyes and snorts.

“Perv.” To which he grins wolfishly. If only she knew of other things he wants to do to her.

“What about you?” It's her turn to grin as she palms his cock through the fabric. He hisses and grabs her hand. They look at each other for a moment longer. Maybe he should let her pleasure him? She seems willing if only for show. So he lets go of her hand and puts the grin back. Her eyes widen again at his acquiescence. He is still leaning against her with his thigh presses between her legs. She unbuttons his trousers as he observes her determined if inexperienced movements. He smiles tenderly through the cloud of desire. Her eagerness pleases him greatly. She manages to finish her task and starts pulling down his trousers.

“ _Vhenan_ ,” he catches her hand again, “we might not have enough time for this.” He chuckles when she huffs annoyed. He leans closer. “Another time love. I appreciate your willingness to return the favour yet it's not necessary. I don't expect anything in return.”

She huffs again. “I don't do it because I feel obliged, Solas. I want to do it. To…” she blushes, “make you come saying my name.”

Ah. _Ma vhenan._ I wish that as well, he thinks. Yet it may be a challenge for him to stop only at this. He may want to rip the rest of her clothes off and fuck her senselessly until they both are out of breath and shake with exhaustion. Another time, maybe once they are longer together, after he takes his sweet time with her.

He kisses her lightly. “ _Ma serannas ma vhenan. It means a lot for you to say that._ ”

She smiles at him. Her eyes twinkle with happiness and adoration. “ _You should accept good things when they come, Wolf. They're rare and precious._ ”

“Every moment spent with you is precious _ma lath._ ” He retaliates stepping away and adjusting his clothes.

“You really have great self-control, Solas.” She admits looking at him with admiration.

He chuckles. “You have no idea, _vhenan_. And yet,” he moves closer to touch her cheek, “you're the only one who can bring me to my knees in a blink of an eye.”

She blushes again and adjusts her skirt. He smiles and then bends down to retrieve the ripped underwear from the floor which he puts in his pocket. “So what about this drink?”

Her laughter is all he needs to make him smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to my never tiring Beta.


	22. Twenty Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \--> Yes and no.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... half of the chapter is *NSFW. If you're into this then you can stop reading after they move to the living room. You have been warned.
> 
> vhenan - my heart  
> vhenan'ara - my heart desire  
> emma lath, ma lath - my love  
> ma serannas - thank you  
> rass'an vath - teller of possibilities, clairvoyant (my own)

“I think this is it,” I admit showing him a round light blue oval shape stone.  Solas turns from his box to look at the object in my hand.

His eyebrows furrow. “Are you sure?”

I nod enthusiastically as I can feel the pressure and slight buzzing at the back of my mind receding. It has been a constant presence, always there, almost unnoticeable at the beginning. And since it started subtly I guess I got used to it being ever present. Not even guessing its meaning. As my mind goes quiet I feel refreshed and relaxed. I stand up and join him by the box he's been rummaging through.

We are in my aunt’s attic going through the things she left me. I knew that the focus Monica mentioned would be among the trinkets my aunt left me. I feel a pleasant bliss spreading through my limbs at the simple thought of now seeing another possibility brewing at the edge of my mind, getting ready to be seen. There's so much I didn't mention to Solas. The visions has been occurring more frequently, sometimes I had to think what the issue at hand was as I got distracted by them. Luckily, nobody noticed anything. Well, apart from Solas who notices almost everything. And now that he knows he's more than over sensitive and over caring to let me go through this alone.

I appreciate that. A lot in fact. Although his protective attitude gets on my nerves sometimes.

I put the focus stone in my pocket and kneel next to him. Then giggle.

“I cannot believe I kept it all. Look at those ugly things.”

Solas looks diligently at the old dolls. “Are they yours?”

I shake my head. “Most of the stuff here is my aunt’s. She must have accumulated it throughout the years.” My eyes scan the boxes neatly stacked around the attic. There's no way I'll be going through all of them. We’ve already done five.

“Ah, this is the painting I mentioned to you before.” I stand up and go near the window to drag the cloth cover off the frame. I stare at the landscape and cringe a bit upon seeing it again. In great detail the artist presented dull hills with forest to the left flowing into a lighter part on the right. The blue of the river sneaking between the hills makes it a bit easier on the eyes. The clouds hang heavy and the sun barely dares to peek out from above the horizon. Timid sun rays illuminate the river and the right part where a crowd of people gathered around the scattered camp fires.

I turn to Solas to make a snarky remark but stop myself seeing his shocked expression.

“What's wrong, Solas?”

He outstretches his hand and touches the canvas with his fingers. “It's… near the camp in the… This is where I was planning on going after the meeting with the Inquisitior.” He points to the far corner of the painting. Further away from the crowd. “How is that possible? How would anyone know? Was it in the game?”

I return my gaze to the landscape and shake my head in denial. “No, it wasn't. I always found the painting unassuming and depressing with all these dull colours. I have no idea who painted this and why. But there must be a reason my aunt wanted me to keep it.”

“It's unbelievable that someone would know— Do you think they could share your gift?”

I stare at him silenced. That's a possibility. What if my aunt had the same gift? Could she predict this? And Solas? If it was her, then was she able to see her own sister—? No, I don't want to think about it. Or make assumptions.

I point to the crowd to the right. “So, they are elves?”

“One assumes so,” he admits quietly.

“And who are they?” I point to the barely visible figures emerging from the forest. I can make out shapes of people on foot and horses. Horses? Soldiers or travellers? How many are they? It seems that the trees are not the only things casting shadows as I can spot many figures. I get closer and notice shapes of armour. Soldiers, then. Some of the footmen hold spears or long sticks—staffs! Oh my, they are Mages!

“I believe that you're correct, _vhenan_.” Lilting voice admits quietly.

I don't realise that I say it all out loud. Also, that I have taken out the focus stone and hold it tightly in my hand. I step away from the painting and look at him, my breathing heavy with revelation. I look at him.

“The Inquisition is back, Fen'Harel. You have to keep the peace if you want to succeed in your plans.”

Solas turns to me slowly. “When?”

“You have a few years before they reach you. Your ranks are not free of spies though. Should you fail in keeping peace that is where your revolution falls and you'd have no choice but to use your last resort measures.”

He nods solemnly. “ _Ma serannas, Rass’an Vath_. You confirmed my suspicions.”

“What did you—? Ah.” He's pensive and serious. I understand what he called me but why would he use an Elvhen title, I do not. No, wait. Actually, I do.

“Is that what All-Mother was?”

A long sigh leaves his lungs before he dares to look at me. “To a degree,” he admits. “Although I doubt her gift was as extensive as yours. You seem to have it in abundance.”

“And how would you know that, Wolf? I have barely scratched the iceberg of it.”

“A—a what?”

I roll my eyes at his baffled expression. “Touched barely the top of the issue. I don't know the extent of it and you seem to be certain I have it in abundance. How come?”

He smirks. The nerve of this elf. “Would you believe me if I said I can sense it in you?”

I'm going to throttle him. Maybe also push him down the stairs…

He continues with his smirk. “Your gift is extremely rare, _Rass’an Vath_. If anyone learns about it they will try to use it to their advantage. And…” he sighs, “if you go with me, _I_ will try to use it to my advantage.”

My breath catches in my lungs. The Dread Wolf admits something like that. Unless… I furrow my brows.

“Don't play games with me, Solas.”

“And why would I? The moment I started you'd know that I did. So, what's the point?” He's a picture of pure innocence. Rrrright.

I start laughing hard. Oh my, I almost have fallen for his game. Oh, he's good. Really good. No wonder though, he had millennia of practice. Still giggling I approach him and embrace him by the neck. His breath hitches when I drag my nails up his skull. He closes his eyes for a moment and groans happily.

“You need to teach me that, _ma’lath_. I want to see all your colours… I think that the sight is going to be—“

I don't finish the sentence as he slants his lips against mine, groaning as he drags me flush against him. Ahh, the game is on. I let him have the control as he's keen to have it. His kisses return to being gentle pecks along my face before I whisper to him, “I love you, Solas.”

He freezes and his open-mouth breaths are the only indication that he's alive. The lust in his gaze is transformed into tenderness and his lips stretch into a genuine smile. “ _Ma’lath. Emma lath._ ” He kisses me again with devotion and gentleness you'd not expect from a man wielding an army of—oh, it seems I still hold that focus stone in my hand. Conspicuously, I put it back in my pocket. The sizzling in the back of my mind returns but it's gentle. Like a comforting presence of a long-known friend. I sigh against his lips and let him embrace me.

“We're quite a match, _vhenan_. I will never get tired of you.” He jokes to relax the atmosphere but I know it to be true. Fate or chance, as the All-Mother would question, decided to put us together and so we shall carry this burden with diligence. Oh, it's such a burden to be bonded to the Dread Wolf. Just horrible. Wait, when did I change my mind? Just a few weeks ago I was terrified by that thought. So, what happened to make me change my mind? Ah, wait, I died. That's what happened. Also, I suspect that having an essence of an Old God helps one to change perspective on understanding life and love. Blasted Elves. They could not come up with something less life changing? I guess simple was not in their dictionary. Urthemiel, you are deluded if you think I let you keep whining, I tell myself.

“Lunch?” I grab Solas’ hand and he scowls when I lead him towards the exit. I giggle. “You won't regret it. Trust me.”

He sighs and follows me diligently to the kitchen where I take the ingredients out of the fridge. He joins me at the counter.

“I didn't think you'd cook,” he remarks, his eyebrow raised.

“There are things you don't know about me. It may take you quite a while to learn about them,” I try to suppress the smirk. We work in comfortable silence for a long while. I catch him glancing at me, he's clearly surprised at my skill. Oh well, I let him process the information, which should not be surprising given that I ran a household before. Granted, it did not indicate that I was able to cook.

“My mum taught me how to cook. She was from France and always loved food. So every Saturday morning we spent in the kitchen baking or cooking or making marmalade. My dad joked that I would become wider than taller but with the amount of exercise we did after the bakey-time I was in no danger.”

“That sounds wonderful, _love_. You don't talk about your parents.”

“No, I don't. Their passing left a hole inside me. I thought I managed to mend it when I met David but…”

“I'm sorry. I didn't want to remind you of this.”

I shake my head. “If the Inquisition game taught me anything is that you need to let the pain out and talk about it. As time passes you feel better. You don't forget but it's acceptable. And you can manage. That's what Cole did, right?”

He stops chopping the carrots. “Cole?”

I snort. “You know, the spirit-boy? With big hat and deadly skill?”

“Yes, I know who Cole is, _ma’lath_.” He chides me rolling his eyes. It looks dorky. “I am still unaccustomed to you knowing everyone in the Inquisition, that's all.”

“Of course, I do! I was making the decisions after all!” I laugh but am met with silence. I chance a glance away from the pan and see him staring at me. Speechless.

“So… you decided to make him more spirit?” To which I nod. “Also to make Daeva the Knight-Enchanter?” I nod again. “What about the Iron Bull?”

“Saved the Chargers. He became Tal-Vashoth. Had high approval with him, so he did not-… maybe I should not continue.”

“No, please. He did not—what?” His eyes are dancing with eagerness and curiosity. Oh well, I can't see any harm in revealing Bull’s possible treason. So I tell him.

“Were you able to prevent”, his voice wavers, “my spirit friend from…” He looks to the side, sadness filling his gaze.

“No. That was inevitable, I'm afraid.” I say gently.

“Ah,” he sighs sadly. Then he continues with setting the table.

“And Cassandra?” He breaks the silence once we sit and eat.

I smirk at that one. “Yes, making her the Divine was funny at the time. Especially with her aversion to wearing dresses. But now I think it may be to your advantage. She's more than a reasonable woman and can be convinced if the cause is just.”

“And do _you_ think _my_ cause is just?” His eyes bores at mine. He takes a sip of the water from his glass and observes me patiently.

“It is no longer _yours_ , Solas,” I say carefully. “You may be the instigator of it but as the elves amass _your_ cause becomes _theirs_. You're no longer alone in this, alone in making decisions, alone in paying the price, alone in working towards the goal. You are theirs.”

“Do you really think so?” He asks after a long silence.

I stand up and walk over to him. He turns on his stool to face me. His eyes are so sad and serious. Also his expression is that of a lone man carrying the weight of his past decisions. I caress his cheek before replying. “They need you to be who you are, Solas. You cannot leave them on their own. They require a leader and you need to suppress the urge to run away. You need to be one. For them, for their future.”

“Do they even have one?” He muses, his voice light and yet it carries a shade of doubt.

“We all have a future as long as we have hope,” I tell him. He mulls at the words and then a slow smile brightens up his face.

His hands reach for mine to kiss them gently. “ _Ma serannas, vhenan_.”

I smile at him. I also smile as I know I’ll be there at his side to help him whenever he starts doubting again. And then I sigh internally as I realise I have made my decision. I will go with him to the other side.

There’s still so much to do here though. To organise my personal affairs before we leave but for now… all I want is to show him the marvels of this world. Of my world.

I take the plates and feed the dishwasher for later. Then we move to the living room where we curl on the sofa watching the first “Bridget Jones” film. We laugh at the plot.

Solas holds me close to him and his fingers sneak under my shirt to caress my side. I hum appreciatively and nuzzle closer to nip at his jaw. He shifts me on top of him so I have an easier access to his neck. The action makes me feel the hardness between his thighs and I hum again. His other hand lands on my hip which he starts circling with his thumb. Then he shifts me on top of him.

His hands move under my shirt lifting it up to expose my breasts to him. He groans at the sight and move his mouth closer to trails kisses between them.  He sits up and arranges me so my thighs are at his sides. Then he palms my breasts through my bra; his nose and mouth mapping the valley of my raising chest. His kisses stop at my collarbone and then he leans back to admire my form. Greedy eyes take me in; I retaliate by running my hands across his shoulders to his neck and then down his chest to end up at his navel. I grab his shirt and he helps me to take it off. I return to caress his stomach and his muscles flutter under my ministrations; he moans openly. I think it’s been a long time since he was touched like that. The same can be said for me.

My shirt lands on the floor next to his own. Thirsty hands caress my sides while I feel his hot breaths and wet tongue leaving trails in a pattern only known to him. The sounds coming from his mouth, something between groans and soft whispers of my name make me arch my back and grind my hips against his hardness.

“Solas?” I sigh against his neck right to his ear.

“Yes, _ma lath_?” His hands move lower and grab my buttocks firmly. He whispers quiet praises into my skin lighting it aflame. His hands are steady and yet, as they discover the planes of my body, so unaccustomed to this kind of touching, I feel him shiver with pleasure.

I guess this does it.

“Shall we go upstairs?” I murmur in his ears to which he replies by groaning loudly and kissing me fervently. His quiet _yes_ is breathed between kisses.

After a few moments, when I am convinced we would end up doing it here on the sofa, I reluctantly stand up and, followed by Solas, climb the stairs. He’s close; his hands do not stop caressing my body wherever he can reach. After I enter my bedroom I am enveloped from behind in his strong arms and his lips lap at my neck. My breasts are covered by his splayed fingers and he exposes my nipples and raises them to attention. I grab his hips to drag him flush against me. His hard length positioned between my butt cheeks moves as he rolls his hips. I keen and shiver. How long has it been since I had a man? A man who made me so wet?  I am ready for him in that instant, my body yearning for his. I desire to feel his hardness inside me at that very moment. But if I want to prolong it we need to slow down. I would not want our first time to end after ten seconds.

So, I still my hands and take a step forward. He notices and his hands loosen around my breasts. I turn my head slightly to inform him, “I think a shower would be appropriate, don’t you?”

His Adam’s apple bobs and his nostrils flare. The blue of his eyes is almost covered by the dark of his pupils. He nods after a few moments, licking his lips in anticipation.

I walk slowly to the bathroom leaving a trail of clothes behind me. I do not shut the door as I hope he wold join me. When I approach the mirror and look at my reflection I barely recognise myself through the haze of lust. This is not the woman who greeted him all those months ago; this was a new woman, confident and ready to move on. I drag my hand along the contours of my face, enjoying the perfect sight of my freckles and smiling lips. Have I thanked him enough for curing my eyes? Hmm, maybe a remedy is in order, I chuckle to myself. I take a few steps back dropping my gaze to my breasts, then waist and my thighs; definitely I have changed. Noticeably. I will not regret this, I tell myself when finally I step into the shower and turn the water on.

Just a few breaths later I can feel his hesitant fingers running along my shoulder blades and his warm lips on my shoulder. I lean against him and hum approvingly. I want this. With him.

His touch is gentle as if he was afraid of hurting me. As his fingers skimmer along my ribs and lower to my hips I can feel him hesitating. The hot of his tongue licks along my earlobe and I moan when he nibbles at it with his teeth.

“Solas,” I whisper and turn around. His gaze is lustful and centred on my face. His kisses are too gentle for my liking at this moment.

“I’m not as fragile as you think I am.” My hand stop his advances and I make sure I have his attention. “I will not break easily.”

His gaze lowers to my breasts and then my legs. He takes a couple of steadying breathes. So, when our eyes meet again his gaze is determined. And lustful. He steps close so there’s no space between us and his hand holds my head as he slants his mouth against mine. No more doubting or hesitation.

Our moans fill the bathroom as his hands leave my head and travel down to cup my breasts again.  I moan into his mouth and he uses the opportunity to sneak his tongue in. The passion he was showing before has doubled. He grinds his hips while his long fingers tease my breasts. Circling around the nipples, pulling them slightly, and squeezing the fullness of them in each hand before bending his head down to suck on them in turns. I am done. Almost coming from this action alone. He breaks for a moment and stands tall to look at his work. I’m flushed and panting heavily. His eyes follow his hands as he trails them down my body. I shiver under his touch and he smiles. He stops at my hips and then looks at me expectantly. The distance he puts between us at that moment allows me to take a good look at him. His chiselled muscles and strong thighs make me tremble of what is to come; I greedily trace the valleys on his stomach with my fingers and his gaze gets clouded by desire. His straining cock twitches whenever my hand circles his navel. Then, I lick my lips and it spurs him into abandoning all pretence and kissing me hard on the lips.

He does not waste time and his hand travels immediately down between my thighs. His long fingers caress my folds, slowly at first then with more fervour. I bare my neck to him as my head hits the glass. He is more than happy to leap at the chance and sucks at it while his nibble fingers dive into me. Two. Then three; I moan shamelessly and he groans against my neck. I will definitely have a hickey comes the morning. Slow practiced movements of his fingers. Stretching me, rubbing in all the right places. His thumb dances around my pearl and I find myself panting heavily canting my hips towards him. He laughs against my throat and then leans away to look at me. His gaze is calm and so entranced as if my pleasure was bringing him the satisfaction he seeks. Which it probably does as he moans as well when I finally shatters around his fingers. He drags my high for a while and then, again, licks his fingers covered with my come. Once done, his lips curve into a satisfied smirk and he leans towards me again. His nose trails along my cheek and towards my ear. “Delicious. I want more.”

I hold onto his arms when his hands grab my thighs to hoist me up against the glass at my back. His hot lips still at my ear.

“May I have you, _vhenan_?” He whispers above the sound of falling water at his side.

“Yes,” I moan and that’s all he needs to direct me onto his length. He coats his cock in my slickness before angling himself to sheath himself inside me. We both groan as he breaches me. He lowers me so the gravity takes care of things. I feel him shivering in pleasure when he’s half way inside me. His ragged breaths are indications enough that he enjoys this. The chanting of my name alternated with _vhenan_ make me tighten around him.

“Relax, _emma lath_. You’re so tight. _Hamin, vhenan_.” The use of Elvhen has the opposite effect as I tighten even more. He stops.

“This will not do,” he decides and then slips out of me. The loss of him leaves me disoriented and pouting. He chuckles and turns off the water. Then touches my cheek and smirks. “I would prefer the bed, _vhenan_. Where I can touch you to my liking.”

My pouting does not stop but I follow him. When we are next to my bed he indicates for me to lay down and he climb right next to me. We kiss again and his hand roam freely along my ribs, my stomach towards my breasts which he squeezes lightly.  His head bends down and his lips catch the nipple which he sucks on. I moan in pleasure and he alternates to the other breast positioning himself between my spread legs.  My folds are glistening with moisture as he covers himself again with my juices. Then he pushes in, slowly, holding my hips, he guides his cock inside me, advancing at a torturously slow pace. My moans do not deter him as he continues his movement by taking me inch by inch. The pleasure floods me as I arch my back and grab at the sheets at my sides.

Finally he’s fully inside me. So, he stops his movement allowing me to adjust to his size. I pant and heave and pulsate around him. His pupils, so dilated, take me in, caressing me with gentle glances despite his gaze being heated and heavy. Trying to last longer, to rein in the immense pleasure threatening to overcome his limits he stills and waits for it to abate. When he has it under control his hips snap sharply and I release a long moan. He does it again. The sheet gets dragged towards me. He leans over me supporting himself on his arms. His fingers at my hair.

“Look at me, _vhenan_.” When I do he continues. “You’re exquisite, wonderful, warm. You’re more than I have ever expected to receive.“ He nips my lips playfully. “You’re the one I will desire forever. The one I will long for. Always. The one to complete me. _Ma vhenan’ara._ ”

“Solas, wait,” I tell him. He stops again. His eyebrow raises in silent question. Although I feel him twitching inside me, his pride would not allow him to lose his self-control even in the most vulnerable of situations. “Change back your ears. I want to see you the way you are.” I try to suppress the shivering of my voice.

He beams at me and then his eyes glow the light blue and his ears elongate. This is Solas, my elven man. We both grin at each other. The happiness in his eyes and his quiet _vhenan,_ repeated over and over again, confirms that he appreciates this request.

And then he snaps out of the joyful break and rolls his hips. I moan and he starts moving in and out at a quick pace. Grunting against my neck, nipping at my shoulder, my cheek, my earlobe and my lips, which he takes possession of giving praise to the feelings. He tells me how beautiful I am, how tight, how warm and inviting, how good I feel around him. I come easily when he still drives deeply inside me.

He waits until I ride my high before angling my legs higher and diving deeper than before. His strong and deep trusts make me pant and claw at his back. I also grab his hard buttocks. Racking his skull with my fingernails sets him on moving even faster. Ragged breaths and dirty strings of Elvhen escape his swollen lips from the feverish kisses. He touches me everywhere he can while his cock swims inside me. He rams it in before he drags it almost all way out. Then he repeats. We are both sweating profoundly at this stage and my throat is raspy from shouting his name after voicing the pleasure for such a long time. He’s near his end. He slows down for a moment to brace my head and ask my permission to come inside me. I nod and it’s all to set him aflame. His ragged breaths faltered by a long grunt as he spills inside me burring his cock as deep as he can. The groan are muffled by his lips latching at my throat, his teeth marking me as his.

He stills above me and I caress his sweaty back with my hands. I feel him chuckling against my throat before he raises his head to look at me.

“That was…hmm.” Hazy eyes glance at me tenderly. With all the love and happiness written on his face. The tips of his ears are pink, as well as his cheeks.

I laugh in response. “Yes, it was.”

We embrace each other while our bodies cool down. His caresses along my arms and my back have no end as well as his kisses. I see him smiling and humming against my skin. With his eyes closed and soft whispers on his tongue. My hand goes to his ear. “A shower?” I propose.

His stops his wanderings and I see a cheeky smile returns to his face. “One of the many tonight, if I can venture into foreseeing the next couple of hours.”

“What do you mean?” I ask confused while he raises his body off me and starts to kneel. His hand reaches out to me to help me get up.

“You thought this was it? That I have had my fill of you?” His mouth quirks.

I follow him into the bathroom on shaking legs. My body tingles all over and I feel tired. A good kind of tired though.

He sets the water on warm. “We have barely started, _ma lath_. Shall I remind you what I promised you the other night?” His smirking could not be more unnerving.

“Oh?” I play coy. “We’ll see about that, shall we?”

\--

He gets good on his promise and we sleep very little this night. The sheets need to be changed twice and the shower cubicle used more than I dare to admit.  The morning finds us entangled in each other and he cannot refrain from taking me again.

I don’t complain though. Oh no. Far from it. But it means that I need to be careful when taking lightly on his promises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to my never-tiring Beta. For advice and patience.


	23. Twenty Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \--> Choices that matter.
> 
> More fluff and smut on holiday for those two.

Sweet. Sweat. Strawberry with a hint of vanilla. He tastes it on his tongue while placing slow kisses along her shoulder up to her neck. She shivers and his arm tightens around her midriff in response. Hmmm, he needs to do it more often.

Her back against his chest and he indulges in the warmth of it. Not as if the warmth embracing them was not enough. They’re on a beach, hidden from the scorching sun, under a big parasol, her form held by his legs and arms in a loose embrace. She’s reading a folder, deciding on their next excursion. He’s holding back a laughter peeking out at where her finger stops. Watching dolphins and orcas. Well, this should be relaxing.

Not like the other activities she decided for them to do. Riding a banana, where she pushed him off it to the water just to jump in after him; or gliding a parachute only to give him a near heart attack by pretending she was drowning after landing in the water. He thinks that watching the creatures of the oceans is safe enough.

Her finger follows the description and his eyes admire the maintained nail. The women of his time were groomed but only the higher placed ones could afford this level of care.

Another thing he will take away from her. The ease with which she can achieve those things here. In her world.

A much as the Elvhen were advanced they have not thought about this kind of novelties. If he was to go back then he would make sure it was accessible to all who desired it. He got far away from his present goal and he shakes his head. Then he nuzzles his head against the hollow of her neck and chuckles lightly. Such indulgences should be left for another time. When he knows he can go back.

*

Sitting under the parasols in the scorching sun of Tenerife. A private resort far away from the busy life is exactly what we need. A moment to relax, to enjoy just being together.

The thought of having him only to myself is thrilling and I want to make the best of our time here. We don't have too much time left before we will need to shift our focus elsewhere. Even without my gift I would have been certain that wherever Fen'Harel was involved, trouble follows.

His arms securely around me holding me close to his barely clothed chest. He peeks at the brochures I have splayed around us and comments on some ideas or photos. I laugh and we discuss the possibilities of some activities we may be willing to undertake. Or maybe none if we don't want to; there's no pressure in this, no nagging feeling of being forced to do something. I think that people tend to forget to just live, breathe, and enjoy a moment. Carpe diem. Because nothing happens twice.

Tick-tock.

His nose and lips trail along my bare shoulder to the curve of my neck and I shiver. He follows with small pecks and hums against my skin. Nothing like a distraction. I did the same to him four days ago when he was pretending of not being scared of flying.

*

This was definitely not what he had expected. Multitude of people rushing around them, queuing to drop bags and check-in. He's proud of learning new meanings of those words. He looks outside and see an aeroplane moving towards the middle of the starting lane and his heart beats faster. It would be them on a plane like this just in a couple of hours. Pretending of being calm and oblivious is easy when you know your surroundings but this is completely new to him. He swallows hard and notices her looking at him. Blue eyes are soft and understanding. Her right hand squeezes his own and he focuses on her for the time being. Just to avoid looking at that plane outside. He can still hear the roar of the engines, so much louder than her car’s, even at this distance, hidden behind safety glass.

Her voice is low and gentle, explaining to him what's happening around, and he's grateful for that. It serves as a distraction and let him focus on her rather than trying to figure out everything by himself. It is overwhelming, even for him.

The lady behind the desk smiles politely, takes their passports and tickets and proceeds with checking the details. After they answer some questions and are allowed to put their luggage on the scale then given their tickets back. It seems so easy, quick and efficient. They are ushered to cede the place to the next passengers. Joy takes his hand and leads them to another checkpoint where she explains that it is the last one and serves as crossing the borders. He's lucky and passes through without being checked. Then putting his shoes and belt back observes as a uniformed woman passes a strange object across Joy’s body. She's released after the checking and put her things back on. She returns his grin and winks at him. His heart skips a bit.

Then he discovers a whole new world just a few feet away. Shopping zone. When Joy explains it's a tax free area he shrugs it off, as it's irrelevant to him. However, he happily tags behind his _vhenan_ and allows her to load a few items into the basket he carries. She sprays some perfume on her wrists and neck and he leans in. She smells divine. Her hesitation turns into giggles as he answers her question by saying to take all of them. Only one bottle ends up in the shopping basket. He remembers that she has many of them in her bathroom. She asks if he wants for himself and he shakes his head. He used cologne couple of times so far, borrowed from Shaun but he doesn't want any for himself. She shrugs and puts one in the basket for him anyway.

They meander between shops and ends up in an eating area. There are no walls as it's an open plan seating and it's a challenge to sit in the proper seats. Eventually they eat and drink and he tries to calm down his racing heart whenever he hears the roaring of a plane engine. She talks and smiles more than usual; tries to distract him. The distraction is much needed as they near the time of their boarding.

As they queue towards the plane and he counts steps, her hand squeezes his and he looks at her. Her reassuring smile eases his fears and he follows her inside the plane. She lets him take the seat by a small window. They have their row to themselves, as there aren't many passengers flying today. He is fine, it's all fine, he repeats to keep his composure as the plane moves towards the starting lane. His ears picks up half of what the flight attendants explain about safety measures as his eyes focus on the moving ground. Her fingers helps him to put his seatbelt on and then entwined with his anchor him in the present. She allows his hand to squeeze her tightly as the plane takes off. The sudden change in pressure level makes him nauseous, so he closes his eyes and swears. When he manages to even out his shaky breathing he notices that her thumb runs in small circles on top of his hand. He glances at her and her gentle smile.

“You're scared,” she states and he cannot deny it. He's thankful she doesn't tease him about it. He raises their hands and kisses hers then keeps them in his lap. Whatever happens he will not lose her.

He offers her a timid smile; she has no idea what kind of thoughts run through his brain at that moment and he's trying his best to not show them to her. But he's no fool; with her gift she can easily discern his troubles.

The flight is easy and pleasant. Once he gets accustomed to small vibrations and pressure in his ears he enjoys it. There's nowhere to go so they talk quietly. He tells her about what it would be like to have this kind of technology in his world. She laughs at his comments but they both agree that it would definitely be dangerous in wrong hands. And there were many wrong hands in his world. Magic and technology combined together is definitely a ‘no-no’ idea.

When they land he holds her hand tightly and doesn't let go until the doors are open and they can leave. The flight experience is unforgettable but he's happy his feet feel the solid ground again.

*

“What about this one?” She points to one of the brochures. His fingers skim the warm skin of her thighs and he hums appreciatively against her shoulder. He doesn't want to move. In fact he doesn't want to do anything, just sit here and enjoy her presence. They have been discovering the island for the last five days. Also she managed to convince him to sunbathe, which he did not do for a couple of millennia. Of course, she made sure they were covered in a pleasantly smelling lotion protecting them from the scorching sun. Magic in a bottle, he thought. He can smell it on her skin now as he plants small kisses along her shoulder. She shivers and he's certain it has nothing to do with them sitting in a shade. Since they have nothing planned for today he may use this time to do something pleasant with her. Or, to her, the corner of his mouth lifts mischievously. It's only been a few hours but he feels his desire for her stirring. He wants to see her undone again.

His hands move up under her loose dress. One of his hands goes to her sex and he hums against her ear.

“ _Isala ma vhenan._ ” The words and the slow movement of his hand have the desired effect. Her breath hitches and she moans then bites her lip. Such a tease. His other hand cups her breast through the thin fabric and he tries to pinch the nipple. Her back arches as she presses her body against his hands. Well, it seems that she wants this as well.

"Let's get inside, _vhenan_. No need to scandalise others.” He whispers in her ear in a low timbre, the way he knows she likes. As expected she follows him without further comments. Once inside she gets rid of her dress in one go; lifting it above her head and throwing carelessly aside, then she removes her bikini. He feasts on the sight of her naked tanned body slowly taking off his own clothing. She backs towards the bed and lays in the middle of it. Then she spreads her legs showing him her glistening folds. He groans and takes off his pants in a hurry. His hard cock hits against his stomach and he's at the foot of the bed in a blink, his eyes glued to the sweet pink folds of hers. His want of a woman was never greater. This gift was offered freely, gladly and exclusively because she wanted to. No pressure, no expectations, just love. A pure moan leaves his lips as he sinks into her.

“My love,” he whispers into her ear once he's fully inside. She matches his thrusts and bites hard on his lips. Her hands travel along his strained arms and bent head in the crook of her neck. With his lips next to her lovely ear he whispers all the profanities, all the truths.

She's here with him. Not a Mage nor an elf nor Fen’Harel but him. A man. The thought shakes him thoroughly and he stills in his movements. Her eyes open and she looks at him with passion turning into tenderness. The words leave him and he can only breathe as far as his pounding heart allows it.

“You love me,” he manages to say eventually.

“Yes,” she nods and smiles.

He shakes his head.

“No. I mean, you love _me_.”

A shadow of confusion and then flash of understanding in her eyes. Her hand moves from his shoulder where she was gripping him tightly just a few moments ago, to allow him precise thrusts, to his neck and then cheek.  Their bodies still connected and yet he focuses on the gentleness of her touch on his face. As if it was the only place they touch each other.

“Yes.” It's all she says. Her voice serious.

He swallows hard trying to get his brain working to come up with something more than a few disconnected thoughts. Her love is as unexpected as her existence. The implications are way beyond a simple affair if they are to go back to his world. He fears for them, for what can happen if they are together. And yet he wants this with all his heart, all his being.

She doesn't move although he feels her stirring below him. A shiver runs down his back and his body responds on his own. He thrusts into her. Slowly. Her moan is the most beautiful response. So, he repeats the movement again and again and loses himself in the pleasure. She's here underneath him, sweat and heat, and chanting his name and he cannot stop, doesn't want to stop. Ever. Once she's reached her high he continues to drag it until she's relaxed. Her soft hum into his ear makes him slow down and eventually stop. He raises on his elbows to look at her. The halo of dark chestnut hair against the blue of the sheets, the dark of her half lidded eyes, swollen lips stretched in a satisfied smile, the pink blush on her cheeks and down her front; he looks at her and he falls for her again. He shifts up on his arms to touch her ears with the tips of his fingers and she bares her throat to him. He's still inside her. Still hard.

His name is again on her lips and her hands move along his back as she drags her nails hard. The pain it causes makes him arch his back closer to her and then thrust into her with more force than he planned. But she moans again and that spurs him into action. Grabbing her right thigh he hikes it up so he can go deeper than before. She keens and he growls with each hard thrust inside her.

He loses himself in her only to finds himself again.

~

“So… will you?” I asked although I already knew the answer. I knew he would do it, so when he sighed and nodded his head I grinned.

I turned towards the setting sun over the horizon. Last day of our holiday; tomorrow we would fly back home. So, we took a lazy stroll along the beach, enjoying a gentle ocean breeze, warm sand between our toes, and quiet of the evening.

“Thank you for this gift, _ma lath_. This week has really been… extraordinary,” he admitted quietly. Our fingers interlaced and out feet wet by rocking waves. It felt marvellous to enjoy this moment.

He leaned over and planted a quick kiss on my shoulder.

“Are you cold?”

“Nah. It’s just after taking in so much sun anything below scorching temperature seems like Siberia.”  I joked at my goose bumps on my arms.

“What’s Siberia?”

I glanced at him. Of course, he did not know everything. “A place in the far corner of Europe which is very cold. Usual temperatures are way beyond zero.”

He smiled and wrapped an arm around me. “I’ll keep you warm then.”

I embraced him and sighed happily into his chest. I could not deny that I would like us to stay like this forever. But…

“So, how do we start with the training?” I mumbled after a few moments of blissful silence.

I heard him humming and taking a long breath before replying, “Anytime is a good time and place to start since it’s just _us_ who can feel that.”

“Can we start now, then?”

He chuckled. “So eager, I see.” He kissed my head. “That pleases me greatly.” He admitted after a moment.

“Try to concentrate on a pleasant feeling or… sensation first. And then, try to make me feel it too.”

“I have no idea what you just said.” I admitted confused. I was still burrowed in his strong embrace.

“Ah, well… think about something that gives you pleasure then.”

I leaned back and raised my eyebrow at him. “You?”

He chuckled. “About the feelings, emotions you have at that pleasant moment. And then try to convey them to me with your will only. It’s like… pushing something towards a target.”

Seemed easy enough, so of course it was not going to be easy. And yet, I tried my best to focus on the pleasure he gave me whenever he could. Feeling his strong arms around me, the warmth emanating from his body, and the pleasant whiff of his new perfume mixed with his own unique smell. And I was concentrating so hard that I almost missed him shivering and groaning although he was right there.

Tick-tock.

“ _Vhenan_ , stop.” His strained raspy voice broke through my concentration. I opened my eyes to see him breathing heavily. “I think that’s what- _fenedhis_ ,” he moved his gaze away and cleared his throat, “that’s good. Now, try to withhold them to keep them away from me.”

“So… not pushing but pulling?” I tilted my head questioningly.

His eyes went to my pursued lips and his heavy gaze lingered on them longer than usual. He licked his lower lip before answering.

“No. You don’t take anything, so you don’t pull it towards you. Rather… try to repress the emotion to leave your boundaries.”

I tried again to feel the emotions whenever I thought about him and then keep them close. It was hard as I wanted to share them with him and-I got it right then. Suddenly, I understood his self-control. And it wasn’t that he did not feel anything; this only meant that he reined the emotions in, so nobody else could feel them. Clever.

I noticed him observing me quietly. “A bit more closely, _vhenan_. I can still feel your emotions lingering in the air. Just wisps but easy enough to read.”

I looked at him pouting. Closer? How? I groaned and he smiled. “That’s enough for the first time. We’ll practice more later,” he added seeing me furrowing my eyebrows. “Right now, I want us to walk back to our room, take off your dress, and pleasure you with my mouth.”

I moaned at the thought.

He groaned. “All the while you keep sending those emotions of pure ecstasy towards me, _lath_. Yes,“ he whispered in my ear lowering his hands to palm my ass and drag me against his length. Oh yes, he was hard.

Ah, so that was one of the side effects of my training. Well, who was I to complain?


	24. Twenty Four.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \--> Before we say goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translation:  
> merde – shit  
> falon – friend  
> ma vhenan – my love  
> mon chèr – my dear  
> mon loup – my wolf

“ _Merde_ , am I doing it wrong again?” I asked frustrated after another attempt to withhold my emotions.

Solas sighed but I saw a pleasant smile dancing on his lips.

“No, this requires a lot of patience and practice and you barely have started. You’re doing well.” He pondered a moment. “Maybe… if you would’ve concentrated on a… less emotional topic you’d find the practice easier?” He suggested.

I hummed. “Ok, let’s try that.”

A tilt of his head to one side and a smirk on his lips. “Ask me questions then.”

Ah, so he agreed to my earlier request. Good. What should I ask him? What I really want to know?

“Keep your emotions close though,” he whispered leaning towards me.

Damn. Ok, I can do this.

“Will you tell Morrigan about Flemeth?”

A flash of surprise crossed his face. So, he did not expect me to ask difficult questions then.

He cleared his throat before answering. “One day… I will.”

“What will you tell her?”

He averted his eyes as if not wanting me to see the guilt and pain. “It would be pointless to deny the past. She would know sooner or later. And I need her as ally, so...” He trailed off still not meeting my gaze.

“You’re afraid of how furious she will be? About her reaction of you killing Flemeth?”

“I did no such thing!” He bristled. “It saved her-in the transition. Since her host was not ready she needed another one.”

“And somehow it coincided with your own needs,” I retorted evenly.

He met my gaze then. His was cold like ice. “And I would do it again.”

A shiver ran down my spine. How easily it was to forget who he really was. About his past and future plans. About his pain and persistent way to meet his goals.

“She was your friend. Your _falon._ ”

“She still is,” he admitted. “I hope.”

“Do you think Morrigan will be a good vessel for her?” The coldness in his eyes melted slightly. “I do hope so. It’s not for me to judge. I just hope she’ll carry Mythal with pride and respect she deserves.”

I pang of jealousy hit me but I focused on keeping it close to me. It was irrational to be jealous of an old friend. They have known each other for thousands of years; they shared a common goal before she was murdered; and they supported each other against all odds.

Solas was looking at me closely as if trying to decipher my reactions. The slight crease on his forehead meant that he could not discern them properly. So, the change to a topic I was not so attached was beneficial to my training. Maybe, I should push my luck and ask another question.

“Will you lose your powers if you transfer Mythal’s spirit to Morrigan?”

He laughed. “Not really. I’ve been regaining my own since I woke up. It has been accelerated since I carried Mythal with me, that’s true, but I have enough of my own to carry out my plans.” He smirked and then leaned towards me again. “And if I had found another orb… well-that would be beneficial as well.”

I opened my mouth to fire another question but got frozen on the spot. _Another_ orb? That-bastard! He knew where another one was… or he had already found one!

Looking at his relaxed form sitting cross-legged on the plush carpet in my living room, smile and mischief dancing on his lips, I realised just how little I really knew about him. I got swayed by my own emotions and desires. By what I could see without looking at him. Dismissing everything there was to know about him right there in front of me. And I thought I was clever. Such a foolish girl. Master of manipulation and a brilliant strategist. That what he was. And is. He does not stop using everything and everyone to reach his own goal. _Fight the battles you can win and do nothing that would not further your goals_ , right?

I groaned frustrated at myself and him. Solas noticed my state of distress as I did not try to hide it and he was at my side instantly. His arms around me.

“What’s wrong, _ma lath_?”

I turned to him; anger colouring my voice. “You. You play and trick people all the time. You do it subconsciously even without trying. It’s the skill you mastered and use all the time.”

His hands stopped caressing my back and he leant away to meet my gaze.

“You think I have tricked you into this?” His mask dropped and I could see and feel his pain and hurt. “Do you?” He repeated quietly.

“No,” I admitted averting my eyes. “But you cannot blame me for thinking that.”

“No, I cannot. Actually, you know so much of me that sometimes I wonder why you let me live.”

I met his eyes. More blue than this morning. He was serious with that question. Oh well…

“Because… as I said before… I have a penchant for broody, sexy, and dangerous elves?” I smiled timidly.

He shook his head. “ _Ar lath ma vhenan_.”

And then I could feel a warm blanket of energy covering me and spreading through my body. Reaching every inch of it and caressing with tender movements against my skin.

“You’re crafty with magic,” I admitted against the crook of his neck when he pulled me to him. He chuckled.

“Magic has its uses. And you’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

We sat there holding each other in a comfortable silence. The time was ticking slowly and I could feel it seeping through my fingers. Tick-tock.

“May I ask another question?” He hummed in response. “What do you think of Cullen?”

He chuckled. “Cullen? Hmm… I find him being an excellent commander and a good person. Why do you ask?”

“Well… I got them together. Daeva and Cullen,” I admitted smugly. “And she married him.” I resolved myself to caress his collarbones as far as his a few-buttons-open shirt allowed me. His hands were at my back.

His chuckling reverbed through his body. “I forget too often how involved you have been in all this.”

“Oh?” I leaned back to look at him. Soft smirk at the corner of his mouth told me he was jesting. “You really shouldn’t, as you have no idea how much I wanted Cullen since his early days as a Templar.”

His eyes turned into slits. Ohhh, jealous. One for me.

Tick-tock.

“Since his early days?” He asked confused. “How?”

I laughed. “I forget that you don’t know that he appeared in Origins.” His eyebrows drew lower in confusion and suspicion. That earned him an eye roll from me. “In the first game of the series of Dragon Age, and yes, there were three of them, Cullen is a young Templar in a Circle of Magi. And,” I raised a finger at him then traced it across his lower lip, “if you play as a female Mage you start at that Circle and he is infatuated with you. So…” I shrugged.

“You played as a female Mage then.” He stated evenly only slightly distracted by my touch.

“Ha!” I snorted still tracing his lips. My eyes followed the slow movements. Yet, he seemed unfazed. “I have played every origin and scenario possible on this one.”

He caught my finger with his teeth. When he met my gaze he released it only to ask, “Every scenario? How many there were?”

“Plenty, _mon ch_ _èr_. You could be human, elf or dwarf. And of different background. I like that one with a City Elf who has her arranged wedding interrupted. And then she meets a charming assassin who wins his way to her heart.” I sighed.

He moved his hands tighter around me. The look of possessiveness was not absent from his gaze. Also, his jaw tighten slightly. I smiled at him innocently. I loved to rile him up. He liked to play his games so… I have every right to play my own.

“An assassin?” He inquired in a whisper.

“The one who took over the Antivan Crows. If… he’s still alive,” I admitted.

He sighed and moved his gaze to one side. Then he chuckled before meeting my gaze again. “Ah, _this_ Crow.”

I beamed. “Oh, so Zevran is still alive! Yes!”

His nostrils flared and his fingers splayed on my back in a more possessive manner. “Yes, _he_ is. For the moment.”

“Jealously does not suit you, Solas,” I admitted looking at him.

“Jealousy, as you find, is a new concept to me, _ma lath_.”

I leaned closer, only an inch from his slightly parted lips. “You have nothing to worry about, _mon Loup_. You’re the only broody elf I want.”

He rolled us over so I got under him. “Say it again,” he whispered against my lips. His voice raspy and needy.

I giggled while raking my nails gently against his scalp. “I want _only_ you. I may tease you all way to Ferelden and back but… all I want is you, Solas.”

He groaned and claimed my lips with a searing kiss.

“ _Ma vhenan_ , I don’t mind you teasing me as long as I know I’m the one to warm your bed at night,” he moved a stray of hair off my face. “I love you beyond reason or understanding. I need you. As I _need_ to breathe. Don’t forget that.”

I caressed his cheek and his ear to which he half closed his eyes. “I know. And I need you too, Solas.”

He chuckled. His gaze dark and focused. “I want to bind myself to you, _Nehn_. With all I have.”

I laughed but stopped at his serious expression. “What do you mean?”

He slowly caressed my cheek. “There’s no wedding ceremony between the Elvhen. When we wish to be bound to someone it is usually for life and only requires one’s willingness to do so. It has to be spoken though. And… I wish to bind myself to you, _ma vhenan_.”

This was not to be taken lightly. I knew that. And yet, as I was laying beneath him, comforted by the warmth of his body and soft caresses of his hand, I failed to realise the meaning behind those words. I should have known better. I should have reacted right then... but I did not. I was content and satisfied and drunk on happiness of simply being with him.

“Why… why would you do this?”

He smiled. His fingers trailing against my right cheek and ear. “Because I love you. If you have not noticed before… I have fallen in love with you from the start. I tried to supress it and deny it. Tried to keep you safe but-“ he sighed, “the Fate does want us to stay together. You know this, my love.  Sometimes, I feel like I was pulled here so I could meet you. You’re my solution and more.”

“Solution?” Oh, for sake. Was I only his solution to the war and incoming battles? Wake up, Solas! I yelled in my mind.

“No, maybe I phrased it incorrectly,” he admitted averting his gaze for a moment.” You’re the one I need to help me see other ways. Your insight is more extensive than mine.”

I chuckled.  “That’s one way to say that.”

We smiled at each other. Gosh, he was so- I sighed. His blue-grey eyes bore into mine and I could only sink into them. _‘Festis bei umo canaverun’_ -He’ll be the death of me. If I allowed him to. But it was not such a bad thing according to Fenris, right?

“You're being grim and fatalistic in the hope of getting me into bed, aren't you?” I joked hoping he would get the hint. Or not. Or maybe I was just testing things.

“I am grim and fatalistic. Getting you into bed is just an enjoyable side benefit.”

I melted and rolled my eyes. Which earned a raised eyebrow from him. I laughed. Gosh, how different and the same this was from the game? Oh my. I needed him in my bed. Oh yeah.

“Then maybe we should move into the bedroom. Before we are invaded by John and Daniel tomorrow?” I proposed. His smile was only lesser than a rising sun.

“Yes. That’s a good idea. Especially for what I want to do to you,” he whispered in my ear while leading me upstairs.

I swallowed hard only slightly anticipating the things he wanted to do. With his mouth. Tongue. Fingers. Legs. And magic.

*

“I know. I just don’t want to.” Maya’s voice got shaky and she looked aside. She was back at the job even with her arm in a sling; resolved to do at least some basic tasks around the house. Which meant confining herself mostly to the kitchen while her older sister was cleaning the rest of the house. I knew that leaving her in charge would be good for the house. John approved as well. I think he secretly enjoyed her stubbornness and bossiness even if he would not admit it. Ever.

“Maya, it’s just I want you to stay here with your family and whoever you feel you need, so the household is kept clean and in decent state. Any issues which may arise you’d need to forward to John who is to take the legal guardianship of the place. And if anything else fails then there’s Daniel,” I pointed at my solicitor who smiled at Maya reassuringly, “whom you can approach with any questions.”

“It’s not the same as having you around, Miss Emily,” she pointed out.

“I know,” I admitted. “But this is the way things are going to be right now. You have every right to exercise the proper behaviour from any visitors from now on, and even ask them to leave the place if you feel they do not behave. I leave you in charge. Your daughter is to have the guest house to herself to use at her own leisure as long as she pursues her education. Also, her expenses and tuition fee is to be paid under the supervision of Mr Stewart.” I nodded towards John who was sitting quietly on a stool.

I decided to have the final meeting and dispose of my assets giving the last minute instructions to the people I cared most. I was leaving the estate and all I had in the capable hands of John with Daniel Stouts acting a solicitor, which he was doing for the last 40 years. Well, at least his company, so I felt my affairs were in good hands. And John was fine with Daniel to act as a legal representative. It looked less like he was to gain anything from the trade. Which he was in truth but knowing his disposition I knew this was the simplest and more rational way to approach to leaving him all my funds. Which he had no idea of. Until an hour ago when I showed him my account. Well, one of them. He sighed and agreed for Daniel to keep his hands on that. Surprisingly, he did not turned away the offer to have his sister’s expenses covered if she ever considered to pursue higher education.

Two hours later and we were still sitting in my kitchen. Daniel was on his way back to London to make sure all the papers were corrected before sent for the final approval. John hunching over the kitchen isle; a tumbler with whiskey in his hand and a sad smile on his lips.

“Damn, I have never thought of losing you that way,” he admitted quietly.

I sighed. “I have never thought of leaving this way either,” I admitted.

Maya was supervising Solas who was kneading the dough for the bread.  And she regaled him with another folk story about ghosts visiting the local cemetery once every fortnight. I rolled my eyes while glancing appreciatively at him clothed in blue jeans and tight white t-shirt. It might have something to do with my remembering him without them actually. Well, the memories of last night still lingered on my mind and body. I tried to reign a pleasant shudder at the thought of him- ohh, nope, stop. I inhaled deeply before turning my attention back to John.

He needed a refill. And since he was to stay overnight I did not see a problem to get him drunk and relaxed. His job, whatever exactly it was, did not allow him to get too much of a relaxing time anyway. So here, maybe from time to time, he would. I hoped.

I placed a new tumbler in front of him and started sipping my own. The clink of ice cubes against the glass made John to look at me. “You’re sure about this?”

I sighed. He did deserve the truth. “I am,” I looked straight into his eyes saying that. He closed his for a moment before grabbing his drink and emptying it in one go. Oh well, more whiskey for him then.

“I know I have asked this before but… are you’re certain of him? You know, the things he can do... I’m sure he’s dangerous and such… I really think you may... Maybe you could reconsider?” The hope in his eyes clenched my heart.

“John, as much as I don’t want to leave, it’s-” I sighed, “he won’t leave without me. I have explained that to you. He needs to leave and help his people.”

“God, Joy. They are only fictional people. And he is only-“ he gestured towards Solas trying to articulate the thought which had crossed my mind several times in the past.

 _Not real. A fictional person. From a video game._ And yet, he was there, kneading the dough and talking to my housekeeper. _How_ come?

“I know, John. It took me a while to comprehend it myself. Maybe, if we believe that something or someone is real they become real?” One of the ice cubes in my drink cracked.  Tick-tock. Bottoms up it seems. “He’s real as much as I’m real. Take it or don’t. But I believe this.”

John was quiet for a moment. I refilled our glasses.

“Did he have to do anything with Maya’s recovery?”

“Why do you ask?”

He sighed. “Because the doctors were mildly confused of how quickly she recovered. Look, it’s been only two weeks and they took the cast off. It’s not what I would called normal.”

“Oh, well. Maybe a bit. He volunteered though,” I raised a finger to make a point.

“He would do anything for you, Joy. It’s clear to me. Even if he tries his best to hide how much he cares.” A smile appeared on his face. Maybe the first one tonight. Hope, it wasn’t the last one.

*

He was sitting quietly on the sofa holding a book in his hand and balancing the iPad on his thigh. Clearly engrossed in reading and finding references on the internet. Or, that’s what I have been convinced of for the last half an hour when I joined him in the otherwise quiet library.

“Why Cullen?” His question broke the comfortable silence.

I looked at him. “Why not?” I retorted.

A long sigh. “But why specifically him? You could have chosen anybody else, so why him?”

I snorted. “Are we really going to have this conversation?” It seems that ‘yes’ as his gaze was serious. Alright then.

“Well, I played as a female human from the circle of Magi. It was actually unusual for me as I tend to play as a male warrior or rogue first. But I guess I wanted a change. As far as to choose whom to romance… it was simply a matter of Cullen being sweet and dorky at some point. And… a bit of awkward with his stuttering and shyness. Still - more mature than in Origins,” I admitted thoughtfully.

“But shouldn’t you, as a Mage, be afraid of a Templar?”

“Why? I personally do not have any negative experience with Templars.”

“True. But as you… played as a Mage maybe you should consider her point of view?”

“Solas, I don’t think that at that time I was aware that Daeva is actually real, you know? I played this way for fun. Besides, I was curious on how their relationship would progress.”

He hummed. I waited for several moments before continuing.

“Well, I could not romance you, so my options were limited.” I announced coyly to which he chuckled. “As Deava is into men then I had options of Cullen, Blackwall or Bull.”

He hummed again. “I see. That certainly explains a lot.”

I raised from my chair and went to sit next to him on the sofa. He put the book and iPad on the side table and pulled me into his arms.

“Why didn’t you try to romance me?” He asked after a while.

“Well… because you were not available for humans. I mean for a female human Inquisitor. Only an elf.”

“Ah, so that’s why all the videos I’ve watched are with a Lavellan?”

“Yes. The game makers decided that if you were to romance anyone she’s to be a female elf. That’s it.” I leaned back to look at him. Suddenly I started laughing.

“I admit I fail to understand the reason for your sudden outburst,” he commented on my behaviour. His arms were holding me although I was laughing very hard.

“Because… imagine their faces if they could see us now! You have fallen for a human after all!”

He chuckled as I hid under his chin. “That’s-indeed- well… I suppose none of them could have predicted me meeting you.”

I calmed down after a while. His hand was caressing my back. It was nice, to sit with him, relaxed and happy, talking about normal things and forgetting about the future for a while. Breathing in his unique scent I squeezed him.

“Oh? You’re happy it seems. The vibes you’re sending me are really strong and warm, _vhenan_.”

“That’s because I am happy. At least for the moment.”

His hold on me got tighter. I could feel his regular breathing reverberated through me and his calmness washing over me. He must also be enjoying the quiet before the storm, as we both knew it was just a question of time.

Time we did not have.

This morning I woke up, limbs entangled with his own, my head on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat, and I realised that I knew how to make the mirror work. I have known about it for some time, yet I did not realise that.

But I was scared to tell him. Scared that we were going to lose the last moments of peace and quiet and, as stupid as it sounded, I wanted to keep him here for a while longer. Even if I knew it could not be forever.

As my thoughts got darker, his hands held me tighter. He hummed into my hair which sounded more like a question.

“No, it’s nothing Solas. I’m thinking about all of it... and I’m a bit overwhelmed. But I’ll be fine.” I didn’t know who I was trying to convince, him or me, but I knew that it was not actually working.

“Something is bothering you,” he stated calmly.

“Maybe.” I admitted reluctantly.

He sighed. “ _Vhenan_. I can feel that something is bothering you. Tell me.”

I didn’t want to and yet… I knew I had no choice.

“I know how to activate the mirror,” I whispered.

His whole body went rigid and his hands stopped their movements. He left a ragged breath as if fighting with himself. “How?” He whispered back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my Beta. As always.


	25. Twenty Five.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \--> Without an end, there's no beginning.

“So?” I spun around in front of the mirror and looked at him questioningly.

He sat on a chair with his bare foot on its edge and an elbow resting on his knee. Totally at ease. Observing me quietly. With a smirk gracing his lips.

“No, no zippers.” He pointed out.

I sighed and looked at my clothes. I was trying to find something the least conspicuous for the travel to Thedas. So far, I managed to find a long coat, simple in design and only with buttons. No zippers.

“I guess, I could always go for a hundred of belts and buckles… just like Dorian.” I grumbled to myself as I was taking off the clothes.

“Hmm… you only need something for a short while, love. We’re going to find you something more suitable once we have reached the camp. Don’t worry.”

“Very reassuring,” I snorted looking at my wardrobe. Nothing really was suitable for a time travel. No zippers, no strange buttons, no embellishments, no jeans, and what about shoes?

“Well, I could always put on your armour,” I joked.

“Would you like to try it on?”

I laughed. “I don’t think it would suit me. My hips are wider than yours, and I have breasts, if you haven’t noticed.”

“I have noticed your… assets, _ma vhenan_. On more than one occasion,” he chuckled looking at the subjects in question.

“Perv,” I smiled at him. “Well, I think I’ll stick to wrapping myself in a sheet. Or two. And maybe use a belt and I’ll be all set.”

Another two hours and I finally assembled my ultimate outfit. Leather trousers tied with a string,  a simple cotton shirt, a long man shirt, belt or two, long dark coat, ankle leather shoes, simple cotton bra and underwear. A leather backpack with no emblems, or zipper, with only strings and buckles.

Solas greatly approved.

“This is it, isn’t it?” I asked him while staring at the clothes spread on the bed. Somehow, the feeling of losing myself hit me hard. However, the warmth of his magic started caressing my skin and then slowly enveloped me. He gathered in his arms before I started crying in earnest.

“Yes, this is it. I’m sorry.”

He didn’t say much, only held me tight.

“There’s always an option to forget this plan and… stay here,” he mumbled against my forehead when my tears subsided and I gained some resemblance of calm. His thumb chased away the puffiness from under my eyes.

“You know you can’t.”

“Why?” He asked again. “I don’t have to go _ma’lath_ , the world will continue tracing its course. Even without me.”

“You took yourself and Mythal from the equation already! How do you think the elves got a chance to change their lot? Without any help? Because there’s no one to help them, to stand for them, to fight for them, to believe in them! Even the blighted Urthemiel is here!” I pointed to my chest. “Are you really ready to abandon your people? Or are you going to wait for the Evanuris to break from their prison and destroy everything in their rage?”

He lowered his gaze to ponder my words. I observed him quietly realising that he was continuously at war with himself, between what he wanted and what he needed to do. And I knew I wanted him to go and at the same time to stay.

“Thank you, _ma vhenan_ ,” He looked into my eyes and touched my cheek. “Thank you for reminding me about what I need to believe in… and for being here.” His lips found my own. “I’ve never loved you more that in this moment, Joy.” Breathing against my lips he claimed them passionately.

We did not stop kissing even after we reached the bedroom, then the bed, and even later. We talked very little for the next few hours.

*

“It will be alright, _vhenan_ ,” he said although there's a tremor to his voice.

I looked at him and saw his calm gaze on me, felt his reassuring hand at my back and noticed a quirky smile on his lips.

“How do you know?” I challenged him.

His eyes shone for a split of seconds. “Because we will stay together.”

I looked at the object in front. A mirror, and old one, adorned with carvings and colourful beads. Now I knew their purpose and meaning. And I was scared. As hell.

But also… a part of me was excited whenever I approached the mirror, as if that part knew what was on the other side and could not wait to see it. Deep down I understood that Urthemiel longed to be in his own world. As much as he was bound to me, I was bound to him. The fact that his essence saved my life, when Solas transferred him onto me to save me, was also my gateway to remembering his memories and knowledge. Yet, he was cautious and guarded his experiences with zeal. Only in moments of him being distracted I could glimpse into his past.

Solas squeezed my hand distracting me from my pondering.

I approached the mirror and touched alongside the caving and beads in the same order I saw in my vision a long time ago, which only cleared for me the other night. The mirror made several clicks and then it hummed for a few seconds.

“It needs your magic, Solas.” I explained without looking at him.

A swirl of blue enveloped the mirror which surface started pulsating. Solas continued pouring his magic into it and yet the surface did not changed completely. Even when he touched its surface. It was excepting the energy and reflecting our distorted personas but did not open.

“It’s not enough, _vhenan_.” Solas stated.

I sighed and reached out to touch the mirror as well. Upon our combined touches the mirror flashed a brighter light and then its surface rippled creating a passage. I withdrew my hand and took a step back.

“It worked.” His voice shook with emotions and relief. He took a step forward looking curiously into the other side. “I can see the Arbour Wilds and the place of my original destination after my meeting with the Inquisitor.”

I took another step back. The mirror’s surface waivered and dimmed slightly. Solas looked behind him and our eyes met. “You’re the key to make it work.” He stated solemnly.

I turned around and fled the room.

Solas stood there a few minutes longer looking at the returning to its regular state mirror. His gaze glued to the place where just a few moments ago he could see his world. The lush green of grass, the small pond to the left, the flowers and trees moving with the wind. Something tugged at his heart, a kind of longing he quenched in order to survive in this world but he knew there was no turning back now. He had to return and continue on his path.

But… he was not alone. Not anymore.

It was easier because of her. Because he was not alone. Because she was with him. The truth didn't make the matter easier to admit. He was used to being independent and on his own. She had changed everything and yet… he didn't wish to go back to the old ways.

He turned up and resolutely followed the aura of his _vhenan_. She was scared and… crying.

Without a word of reprimand he approached her and gather in his arms. “It’s alright, I’m here.”

“I’m so afraid, Solas,” she admitted after a while.

“I know,” he replied, his lips against her forehead. “And I’m sorry for causing you distress.”

 

*

I returned his cheeky smile and then looked at the mirror, pulsating with light and magic. I knew we're only a few paces away from his world and I could feel him being anxious to cross through.

Tick-tock.

“Tell me you love me. Tell me it’s going to be alright… Even if that’s a lie,” I pleaded.

A long steady breath left my lungs; constricted and trembling from all the thoughts crossing my mind. This was it, I thought. There would be no turning back after we were on the other side. I knew I wanted it but now, standing at the precipice of the change, my heart beat fast and I was terrified.

His armoured hand moved from my back to grab mine. Our fingers gently entwined. We were fully clothed for the journey and I could not resist to glance at his shining armour.

“Ar lath ma. Maar thaan nir ga.”

Another steady breath. I glimpsed at him comprehending what he tried to do.

I could do this.

Tick-

Warmth spread through our hands and enveloped me in a tender embrace. His magic. Thoughtful.

-tock

There could not be any regrets, anything I would want to go back to. I had been readying myself for a while now-

Tick-

I knew this day would arrive and there was only one choice to make.

-tock

His magic was pulsating through the air filling the area around us. The final step.

“Come with me. Whatever happens I’ll stand by your side,” he said solemnly.

For the last time I looked at him just to make sure that he was there. His eyes were serious and yet there was understanding and compassion in them. I nodded slowly.

He took a long breath and then tugged me closer to him so when we entered the mirror his arms were around me protectively. I closed my eyes anyway as there was a flash of bright light. I felt being enveloped with a thrumming energy for a few moments and then released in another heartbeat. I took a breath and opened my eyes feeling a strong thug on my hand. I looked down to see Solas just a foot ahead, his hand still holding mine. He looked around and I saw the corner of his mouth lifting up when his gaze meet mine.

I raised my head and looked around as well. This was not England anymore. The lush green of the grass and trees, older and taller than anything I’d seen, the air charged with an energy I’d never felt before. The cacophony of sounds, foreign to my ears, evaded my senses, the smells of sweet scent of flowers and moss covering the ground. I noticed a broken eluvian to the right and a small clearing leading to a pond to the left. Definitely not England. The realisation made my head spin. I tried to calm myself down by taking several long breaths. And just when I thought I was fine and ready to make a comment when I felt an excruciating pain assaulting my body.

The last thing I saw was Solas’ expression of utter despair when he caught me in his arms.

“ _Vhenan_ , no!”

And then… just darkness around me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, as always to my Beta. For reading and re-reading and pointing out the amendments.
> 
> I'm grateful to those who read this story since the beginning and had a lot of patience to wait till the end.   
> I know, it may not satisfy you but this outcome was the one I've always striven for...  
> ...no matter the disturbances (or additional ideas).
> 
> Whatever happens next, it's up to you!  
> Or me... if you're persistent enough.


End file.
